relientkguy
01-31-2004, 06:07 PM
Just to be fair, I added a choice for people with darker hair. Voice your mind!!!

completely_nuts
01-31-2004, 06:10 PM
i laugh, because most of them fit me so well... ;D

burned_inside
01-31-2004, 06:11 PM
ur not blonde though. duhh :o

relientkguy
01-31-2004, 06:33 PM
From the polls right now it looks like people either like or don't care about blonde jokes, does anyone have a good one? Preferably a clean one.

completely_nuts
01-31-2004, 06:38 PM
ur not blonde though. duhh :o


sez who?

kat
01-31-2004, 06:39 PM
ur not blonde though. duhh :o


sez who?



Billy... ;)

burned_inside
01-31-2004, 06:50 PM
lol

skynes
02-01-2004, 09:37 AM
a 'clean' blonde joke. I know a couple but they're too long to type since I'm going out in a few mins :P

skilltroks
02-01-2004, 09:41 AM
I HATE THEM!! I'm probably one of the blondest people here.

bob
02-01-2004, 09:44 AM
Ok, A blonde once conquered the French army... There thats funny, it mentions the French ;D

burned_inside
02-01-2004, 09:52 AM
what about the one where a blonde is going to get a hair cut, and the barber tells teh girl to take her headfones off, but she says no, so he takes them off for her, and she dies, and then he listens to what the tape was saying in her ears "breath in, Breath out".

skynes
02-01-2004, 12:21 PM
A blonde is on an airplane one day flying somewhere. Sitting next to her is a lawyer. The blonde wants to sleep, but the lawyer keeps pestering her to play a game with him. She asks
"What is it?"

He replies "Quite simple, we ask each other questions, if you can't get the answer you give the other $5."

The blonde replies "Yeah take advantage of the blonde", and she turns over to sleep.

He then says "OK then. If I can't answer a question right I'll give u $500!"

She agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks "What is the square root of 100"

The blonde reaches into her purse and takes out $5 and gives it to him.

She asks him "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down with 4?"

He thinks really hard about this... pulls out his laptop and searches his trivia program, accesses the net with his Sat uplink and searches for it. Calls his friends around the world to get an answer and get it!

So he wakes up the blonde (she went to sleep) and gives her $500.
She thanks him and turns back to sleep...

He asks really frustrated "WELL What does go up a hill with 3 legs and come down with4!?!?"




the blonde reaches into her purse, pulls out $5 and gives it to him...

bob
02-01-2004, 12:31 PM
Now taht is funny ;D

skynes
02-01-2004, 12:34 PM
clean too.

skynes
02-01-2004, 12:37 PM
Off topic:

How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?

10. 1 to change the lightbulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.
---------
How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats a lightbulb?
-----------
How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they use candles
------------
How many baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change? Who said anything about change?
-----------
How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Firstly they must hold a debate to find whether the lightbulb exists or not, EVEN AFTER deciding it exists, they still may not change it, to keep from alienating those who use other light sources
------------

Got those from a christian joke book. I like em.

weebird20
02-01-2004, 01:09 PM
does being me count as a blonde joke? ;D

(even tho im not blonde, tho i think i shuda been)
LOL!!!

messege_carrier
02-01-2004, 06:12 PM
yes it does count. why. i do not know. but i'm sure that you do. oh yeah. I'M TRADING MY STAR WARS.

relientkguy
02-01-2004, 06:32 PM
Dude, what book did you get that from? I am so buying it. (FYI my name is Ted. Don't stalk me, that wouldn't be cool. My friends include Monopoly, Messege_Carrier and Typing Tutor.) Yeah, that book looks awesome.

doormonkey
02-01-2004, 08:00 PM
does being me count as a blonde joke? ;D

(even tho im not blonde, tho i think i shuda been)
LOL!!!

LOL I know several ppl who are "mentally blonde"

weebird20
02-02-2004, 03:19 AM
LOL I know several ppl who are "mentally blonde"


yip, thats me i'm "mentally blonde" heehee.......the things i do are so obviously blonde :P maybe i shud dye my hair ::)

skynes
02-02-2004, 07:47 AM
oh be quiet you blonde!


lol

weebird20
02-02-2004, 09:45 AM
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! why do u want me to be quiet? i wonder.........is it cus u used to be blonde......and u dont like the thought of being BLONDE!!!!!!

LOL

weebird20
02-02-2004, 09:51 AM
Oh....oh....oh....i got a blonde joke *waves arms frantically in the air*

how do you confuse a blonde?

ask her to count the steps on an escalator!!!!



(tried that once......15mins and i still hadn't finished counting them, it was like they went on forever or something!)

skilltroks
02-02-2004, 11:46 AM
maybe I'm not soo blonde after all... lol... my friend told a blonde joke in skl today and I got it before any one else..

unshakeable15
02-02-2004, 03:03 PM
maybe I'm not soo blonde after all... lol... my friend told a blonde joke in skl today and I got it before any one else..


and it was...

blended_alien_soup
02-04-2004, 10:19 PM
What did the blonde say when she walk into the building?

ouch.....

could not think of a better one ;D

buckus
02-06-2004, 08:07 PM
LOL!!!! I think thats great. ;D

kat
02-06-2004, 11:02 PM
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs off for more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeing out drinks.

Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone could have a try.

The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning here?"

burned_inside
02-07-2004, 05:09 AM
Thats hilarious!!!!!!

dyingalive
02-07-2004, 08:18 AM
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( *looks at her hair* i used to be blonde... but i dyed my hair... unfortunatly im still blonde at heart...

burned_inside
02-07-2004, 10:00 AM
why, do u think this is mean and hurtful and u want us to stop??

kittygirl
02-07-2004, 11:25 AM
Becuase they're probably naturally blonde...
at heart

ted
02-07-2004, 04:03 PM
How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?

There's white-out on the monitor.

alienated_twin
02-09-2004, 09:40 PM
Becuase they're probably naturally blonde...
at heart


i think it's all the fake blondes that give us natural blondes a bad reputation, but that's just my opinion. i know more ditzy brunettes than dumb blondes. ;)

airguitarrockin
02-10-2004, 07:56 AM
i think it's all the fake blondes that give us natural blondes a bad reputation, but that's just my opinion. i know more ditzy brunettes than dumb blondes. ;)


hey! i resent that!! ;)

alienated_twin
02-10-2004, 09:10 PM
sorry to offend. :-[ ;) that's just what i've encountered in the places i've lived. of course there are exceptions to almost everything. ;)

airguitarrockin
02-11-2004, 03:44 AM
lol... i was kidding :)

skynes
02-11-2004, 04:35 AM
^ (Is a ditzy brunette :P)

airguitarrockin
02-11-2004, 04:56 AM
:P THE BEST OF US DO STUPID THINGS, ok?! ;)

anchorofmysoul5
02-14-2004, 09:00 AM
Hey

I'm so bored, so I thought i'd post the only blonde joke I can remember.

A blonde gets on a plane to Toronto with a regular economy ticket. She thinks she is more important than everyone else and decides she'll go and sit in first class. One of the flight attendants comes up to her and says "i'm sorry but you have an economy ticket, you can't stay here". The blonde refuses to move. Next another more senior attendant comes and tells her the same thing, but again she refuses to move. Finally the pilot is called, he says, "i'll be able to get her to move I have experience with blondes as my wife is blonde". The pilot goes over to the blonde and asks her to move, and she does. The attendants wonder how on earth the pilot got her to move and they ask him. The pilot says " I told her first class is going to California"

Ok so it's lame but i'm soo bored right now,lol

Kirsty

burned_inside
02-14-2004, 09:02 AM
it was funny enough.

skilltroks
02-14-2004, 09:06 AM
yeah it was funny. and yes.. I got that one! I rock!

burned_inside
02-14-2004, 09:08 AM
I was allittle scrachy, but I thought of it well enough, I guess.

relientkguy
02-18-2004, 02:18 PM
I know this blonde at my school (don't we all) and I walked up to her today, totally joking, and said "hey, you have stupid all over your face". She instantly started clawing at her face and asked "Is it still there?". I felt so bad for her.

completely_nuts
02-18-2004, 02:27 PM
whoops :o ::) that was sorta funny tho.... ::)

zilchr0
02-18-2004, 10:47 PM
What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair black?

.................................................. .................

Artificial inteligence.

burned_inside
02-26-2004, 02:10 PM
no longer blonde on the outside.

gv_reese_a_chance
02-26-2004, 02:18 PM
"not all dumbs are blonde"

untorn_88
02-28-2004, 01:48 PM
those are funny

guitarman
03-23-2004, 12:07 PM
ok here is mine
k a blond a burnet and a red head r all stuck on an island. the burnet trys to swim to the land but drowns half way there the red head swim 3 4ths of the way there and drowns and then the blond try and get 3 4ths of the way there and says quote(i am tired i am going to swim back)quote.

burned_inside
03-23-2004, 01:14 PM
heres one:

One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.

"I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!''

guitarman
03-23-2004, 01:21 PM
that is good one

guitarman
03-23-2004, 01:23 PM
how many blondes dose it take to paint a barn?
caution stupid joke

relientkguy
03-23-2004, 05:54 PM
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on an island. They find a magic lamp, and the genie gives them each a wish. The brunette wishes a boat came and takes her home. It happens. The redhead wishes a bridge is built and she could walk home. It happens. The blonde gets lonely, so she wishes the brunette and the redhead came back. It happens.

buckus
03-23-2004, 06:05 PM
LOL!!! Man these are great!!! ;D ^ Thats just funny dude! ;D

dreams
03-23-2004, 06:49 PM
just an fyi... i'm a redhead. :)

my favorite blond joke:

Two blonds are walking in the woods when they come across some tracks. The first blond tells the other "those are dear tracks." The other blond says "No, you're crazy. Those are bear tracks." They were still arguing when the train hit them.

kdrummer
03-24-2004, 10:34 AM
I was blonde my first 7 years of my life, so I can relate to this one...
Why did the blonde keep staring at the orange juice box?
It said "Concentrate"

disciple
06-24-2004, 09:44 PM
LOL!!! ^^ Good one!!!

about_worth
06-24-2004, 11:18 PM
Off topic:

How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?

10. 1 to change the lightbulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.
---------
How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats a lightbulb?
-----------
How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they use candles
------------
How many baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change? Who said anything about change?
-----------
How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Firstly they must hold a debate to find whether the lightbulb exists or not, EVEN AFTER deciding it exists, they still may not change it, to keep from alienating those who use other light sources
------------

Got those from a christian joke book. I like em.

now THESE are freaking hilarious.

disciple
06-24-2004, 11:19 PM
No KIDDING! I loved 'em!

about_worth
06-24-2004, 11:25 PM
okay, and that island one is just beautiful.

let me think...

---
four blonds were driving to Disneyland for the day. on the side of the street they see a sign that says "Disneyland Left." so they turned around and went home.
---
a blond, a burnette and a red head are asked what each one of them would want if stuck in a desert. the burnette says she would want water. the red head says she would want food. the blond says she would want a car door so she could roll down the window.
---

ugh, that's all i remember right now.

disciple
06-24-2004, 11:28 PM
LOL! That's all hilarious!!! ROFL!!!

relientkguy
07-14-2004, 08:27 PM
I got a new one!! Disclaimer: I am not saying anything about anyone! The insults against the women in the joke are purely directed at the fictional characters, and no one in real life. Really, I know plenty of girls more athletic than me and every girl I've ever met has been pretty. Enough legal stuff, here's the joke:

A blonde, a brunette and a red head find a magic mirror. Legend has it that if one looks into the mirror and speaks the truth, then the mirror grants the person any wish they want. However, if they fail to speak the truth they vanish in a poof. The red head girl approaches the mirror and says "I think I'm athletic" She vanishes. Poof. The brunette approaches the mirror and says "I think I'm pretty". She vanishes. Poof. The blonde walks up to the mirror, having no idea what to say. She says "I think... uh... I think... uh...." She vanishes. Poof.

disciple
07-15-2004, 04:04 PM
ROFL! Good one, Ted!

relientkguy
07-15-2004, 05:19 PM
Thanks, A.D.

john316
07-17-2004, 04:07 AM
Why did God give blondes more brain cells then he did horses??...because nobody wants to see a majorette take a dump in the middle of a parade.

completely_nuts
07-17-2004, 07:20 AM
LOL!!!!! that one's great, Mr. J3.... :D

disciple
07-17-2004, 03:35 PM
LOL! That's SO hilarious!

kasicalover
07-17-2004, 06:28 PM
HAHAHAHAHA...these are great, i love blonde jokes

disciple
07-17-2004, 06:34 PM
lol I bet you do... don't ask me why I said that ::] too much sun time.

breakthemold
07-24-2004, 05:07 AM
Im a blonde... and i think ive done a few things in the jokes. like the desert one rk, i said id want a car so i could roll down the window. i was NOT thinking that day.... okay here goes...

forgive me if they were already used. :-D

there was a blonde driving down the highway, and she was listening to a radio show where a guy was saying all these blonde jokes. she got really mad and turned it off. when she saw a blonde in a corn feild rowing a boat, she stopped and got out of her car. She walked over to the side of the field and yelled at her, "ITS BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE ALL US OTHER BLONDES A BAD NAME!! IF I KNEW HOW TO SWIM I'D COME AND TEACH YOU A LESSON!"

lol. oh and the horse one...

There was a blonde going to ride a horse. it was her first time ever riding a horse. She tried to mount but as she did the horse took off! she was clingin on to the horses neck trying to grab something to pull herself back on, bt she coulnt. she decided that her best bet was to thrust herself away from the horse. When she did, she didnt go far because her foot was stuck in the stirrup. She was being dragged on the floor, her head repeatedly hitting the concrete, when the wal mart manager ran out and turned off the horse.

disciple
07-24-2004, 08:52 AM
ROFLOL! That second one is HILARIOUS! (Yes, the first one was already used) I gotta remember that one...

breakthemold
07-24-2004, 11:01 AM
oh okay. there are more on gp4teens.com (another cool site!) under discussion boards and Are you laughing?

Faith
08-11-2004, 12:10 PM
How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Firstly they must hold a debate to find whether the lightbulb exists or not, EVEN AFTER deciding it exists, they still may not change it, to keep from alienating those who use other light sources
------------


bahah. I especially liked that one ^


ok this is a pretty old blonde joke, but i'll write it out anyways(hopefully no one already did. if someone did, sorry, i must have accidentally missed it.)

there's a blonde, brunette, and a redhead, and they're all getting ready to be executed.
the brunette goes first. the executioner says "ready...aim...", then the brunette screams "TORNADO!!" and points off somewhere in the distance. while the executioner is looking at where she was pointing, she makes a run for it and escapes.
the redhead goes next. the executioner says "ready...aim..." and she screams "FLOOD!" and points off in the distance, and while the executioner is looking where she was pointing, she escapes.
the blonde goes last. the executioner says "ready...aim..." and the blonde screams "FIRE!!!"

BarlowgIRL
08-11-2004, 12:21 PM
yeah!that one is a classic! I love that one. u know how many versions of that there are?

Faith
08-11-2004, 02:23 PM
haha yeah i like that one too.
i'm guessing there's a few...(versions, that is)

skilletosis
08-11-2004, 05:51 PM
Why did God give blondes more brain cells then he did horses??...because nobody wants to see a majorette take a dump in the middle of a parade.

that is by far the very best blonde joke I have ever heard... ok here's one...

a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, oh wait I have been each at least once or twice.... FIRE!!!!

disciple
08-11-2004, 05:59 PM
LOL! Funny! :D

BarlowgIRL
08-12-2004, 03:02 AM
ummmm....I can't think of any..*typical*

Unregistered
08-17-2004, 02:24 PM
Got any funny blonde jokes that you want to share. Even me, the blonde, thinks blonde jokes are funny.

Two blondes were building a house. one said, "The nail heads are on the wrong side." The other one said, "We can use them on the ceiling."

Unregistered
08-17-2004, 02:24 PM
I love that joke

Weebird
08-17-2004, 02:25 PM
2 blondes played parchesi. One said, this game is cheesy

disciple
08-17-2004, 02:26 PM
LOL there's already a blonde joke thread here. :|

Tim22
08-17-2004, 02:27 PM
I hate the Corn Flakes commercial.
The graphics are too corny.

LOL!

I am blonde
08-17-2004, 02:29 PM
I know there is another blonde jopke thread but I am a blonde so I thought two would be cool

bobbi
08-17-2004, 02:32 PM
This is a long one...
A blonde and brunette were in a bar, watching the news. One story was about a man on the top of a building, threatning to jump off and kill himself. The brunette says, " i bet you $20 that he jumps." the blonde says that he won't and takes the bet. After a half hour of watching, the man jumps. The blonde pulls out a $20 and says, "Here. You win." The brunette says, "I can't take your money. I already say this on the news this morning." The blonde said, "So did I, but I didn't think that he would jump again!" haha

disciple
08-17-2004, 02:36 PM
LOL! Okay, lets direct this to the real blonde jokes thread. There can't be two threads about the same thing, or else everyone would get confused. Especially the blondes. ;)

disciple
08-17-2004, 02:37 PM
It is here (http://www.panheads.org/boards/showthread.php?t=706)

relientkguy
08-27-2004, 06:33 PM
So a blonde is talking to a guy at a bar. The guy says "Hey, if you jump off the roof here the updrafts are strong enough to blow you all the way back up" and the blonde says "Yeah right, I is blonde, but I ain't stupid". The guy says "OK, let me prove it to you, lets go up to the roof, I'll jump off and come right back" They both walk up to the roof and the guy jumps off. A second later he floats back up to the roof. The blonde says "WHOA!! Let I try" and the guy nods his head and motions her to the egde of the roof. The blonde jumps off and a moment later a sickening splat is heard. The bartender walks up to the roof and says "Superman, thats the third one this week. You gotta stop." Superman replys "With the amount of air in her head I figured she had half a chance."

disciple
08-28-2004, 11:51 AM
That's so cruel! But still hilarious in my mind! R O F L! :D

kell
08-29-2004, 06:00 PM
From the polls right now it looks like people either like or don't care about blonde jokes, does anyone have a good one? Preferably a clean one.


Have you heard of this one?
What do you call two blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes!

half-panhead
08-29-2004, 09:48 PM
heres one... i havent read the rest if the jokes so i dunno if this ones been said:

A blone gets sick of everyone stereotyping her as stupid just b/c of her hair color... so she dyes it red. she also gets a new identity, new car, a facelift, and basically starts her life over to prove that she really is an intelligent person. so the next day, she's driving down the road in her brand new shiny mustang when she sees a shepherd with this huge flock of sheep. so she decides to start her new life off with a bang and wants to challenge the shepherd. so she says "if i tell you how many sheep are in your herd, can i have one of them?" so he agrees. She ponders for about 2.5 seconds and says "153." the shepherd is amazed and lets her take her pick of the sheep. so she goes and picks the cutest fluffiest lamb ever and puts it in the backseat of her mustang. the shepherd catches her as she's driving away and says "if i tell you what color your hair was originally, can i have my dog back?"

relientkguy
08-31-2004, 05:05 PM
lol, that was good.

undecided
08-31-2004, 07:58 PM
That was really funny. It reminds me of something I would probably do though.

sarah21
09-03-2004, 01:17 PM
Okay I've got one! :D

Three girls were arrested and sentenced to death(don't ask me why, that's not the point!). One was a brunnette, one was a redhead, and one was a blonde. Just before the brunette was about to be shot with a gun, she yelled "TORNADOE"! Everyone ducked, and she escaped. Just as the redhead was about to be shot, she yelled "FLOOD", everyone ducked, and she escaped. The blonde saw this happen and thought that she should try something like that herself. So just as she was about to be executed, she yelled "FIRE" and guess what happened??

breakthemold
09-05-2004, 03:45 PM
i dont know... what happened?

breakthemold
09-05-2004, 03:45 PM
i really dont know...

breakthemold
09-05-2004, 03:45 PM
come on tell me what happened already!

breakthemold
09-05-2004, 03:46 PM
well i guess i can give you more than 10 seconds to answer...

Bassplayer
09-08-2004, 05:54 PM
I got one.
A blonde walked into a used appliance shop. She walked up to the counter and asked the clerk if she could buy the TV back behind him. The clerk said no, they don't sell to blondes. So the blonde left and then came back later after dyeing her hair black. She asked if she could buy the TV behind the counter. The clerk said no, they don't sell to blondes. So she left and then came back later after dyeing her hair red. She asked if she could buy the TV behind the counter. The clerk said no, they don't sell to blondes. So finally, she asked him why he woulnd't sell her the TV. He said, "I can't sell you that because it's not a TV, it's a microwave."

How's that.

Bassplayer
09-08-2004, 05:55 PM
I got one.
A blonde walked into a used appliance shop. She walked up to the counter and asked the clerk if she could buy the TV back behind him. The clerk said no, they don't sell to blondes. So the blonde left and then came back later after dyeing her hair black. She asked if she could buy the TV behind the counter. The clerk said no, they don't sell to blondes. So she left and then came back later after dyeing her hair red. She asked if she could buy the TV behind the counter. The clerk said no, they don't sell to blondes. So finally, she asked him why he woulnd't sell her the TV. He said, "I can't sell you that because it's not a TV, it's a microwave."

How's that.

disciple
09-09-2004, 05:02 PM
i dont know... what happened?
She got shot.



Great jokes, all, I really needed a laugh. Or three. ::] ;D :D

aliengurl7
07-29-2005, 12:47 PM
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Maddog
07-29-2005, 01:04 PM
HAHA!!!!! Thats hilarious

Bassplayer
08-18-2005, 03:06 PM
HAHAHAHA. i love it!!!!

PinkGoo
08-19-2005, 10:47 AM
thank God im not THAT blonde.

nsvol
08-19-2005, 01:54 PM
i have one:
a blonde was speeding down a highway, & a cop pulled her over. as it turns out, the cop is blonde 2! so the cop walks up & says, can i see your license & registration? the blonde driving the car says sure, so she pulls out her purse & starts looking through it. she pulls out a mirror, & looks @ herself, & said here you go. the cop took the mirror & looked @ herself in it, & said, well, you're good to go. i didnt know you were a cop too!

i think its ok