ok, i know i complain alot and im sorry but i need help now....

ok ive known this girl for about 2 years but we only just started really talking to each other in December. eventually we started calling each other on the phone and talking as much as an hour a day to each other, plus we saw each other at school. it started out as me just being her friend, until her boyfriend dumped her, and i was the only one who would let her "cry on my shoulder" so to speak. after a while she asked me out on a date and we went on several dates with each other and so on and so on. but a week or 2 ago, i was in New Orleans and she was sending me text messages from her mom's cell phone. they started out as innocent, "i love you, miss u, wish u were here" that sort of stuff, but then for whatever reason we started joking around sexually. she gave her mom her cell phone back, but forgot to delete the messages. the next day i reread all the messages and was worried that she might have taken me seriously. i sent a message back to her moms cell making sure she knew it was all a joke. her mom sent me a message back about how she read the messages and didnt take it as a joke. she assumed that we were sexually active and made my g/f go see a gynecologist for an "examination". she saw the doctor and he said that everything was fine as far as he could tell. but her dad then called my dad and set up a meeting between them. they had a meeting and im pretty sure that everything went fine, but her mom is still mad at me. like today, my g/f told me she needed a ride home so my mom and i gave her one. her mom got mad though b/cuz she let me take her home cuz she still thinks weve been "doing things". i dont know wut to do about this, because we still like each other alot, but when ur our age, ur romantic relationships are completely at the mercy of ur parents. we cant keep seeing each other if her mom still doesnt like me. im pretty sure if i have my mom talk to her, she could sort everything out, because i want to go to a movie with my g/f this weekend. am i doing the rite thing? wut should i be doing?

you violated the mom's trust. you can't blame the mom because she doesn't know you enough to know you were joking (which, in my opinion, isn't anything to joke about anyway).

the only thing you can do is re-gain her trust. how? respect her wishes. no matter how crazy or dumb they may seem (like not giving her a ride home) you need to respect that. she is being protective over her daughter (and she has every right to...i mean, her daughter still lives under her own roof and stuff, so she has a right to make some demands....again, in my opinion).

to keep fighting her will only make things worse. in all honesty, even having your parents talk is one thing...but your parents can't make her forget what she read. you are responsible for your actions and they can't excuse it all away. unlike some stuff, i do not believe this is something your parents can bail you out of and it goes away over night. words do not come with voice tones and such to make it clear how it is coming across.

if you really want to pursue a relationship with her, in hopes of it really going somewhere, words of wisdom would be to make amends with her parents by respecting them and their role in you g/f's life. even if that means not going on dates by yourself and all. i know it'll more than likely be annoying...but use this time to place yourself in check by learning not to ever joke about sexual things. and make sure you are ready for the relationship...and that things won't go sexual. a joke here or there can lead to worse if not dealt with...

i'm may be coming off as way to conservative on this issue...but it's my honest opinion (suggestion) on the situation.

i agree with unshakeable. you have to regain your girlfriend's mother's trust. she must have been truly worried to have sent her daughter to a doctor and everything. respect her wishes.

also, you may feel really mature, but you are still only a teenager. (dont get me wrong, im one too) you will come to greater challenges in the future, and in all honesty, you are somewhat young to be dating. i kno most people totally disagree, and society encourages the opposite, but dating before being ready to commit to marrige is useless, really. I don't wanna lecture or tell you that you are doing something you shouldn't or anything, but thats my opinion.

First of all is she saved dont be unequally yoked. if she is christian and you truly love her stick it out and pray to God. Trust me bud in a situation like this that is all you can do. on the weekend to the movies i would kinda hold back just to play it safe.Are her parents saved, especially if the girl is saved and the parents you are unsure of. if that is the case then defintely dont do this weekend date trip, you could loose her. One thing, this is going to sound very liberal but here i go. try to regain her parents trust, if you dont and when she turns 18 you want to date her do it, especially if you know that she is who God intends for you to marry. You may never gain her parents trust again but try, that is all anyone should be asked of. I am going through something similar myself right now, although actually more intense. i agree with your comment on the age issue, i feel the same way and many say it is wrong how kids act, but you can also do that for some parents and adults too. In case your wondering i am not some young teenage kid complaining about a situation i am 22, its frustrating but cry out to God he will help you and seek his guidance, that is the only true guidance next to your own parents you need. but just back off awhile, play it safe see if the flak flies over and pray this to God this what i use, it works. "if we are meant to stay togther bring us closer to each other, if it is not right seperate me now so i dont hurt her and she doent hurt me." i cant begin to even tell you how good this works, and my girlfriend i are even closer than ever before, because God is in it. also remember if you have asked for forgiveness from god then forget it, forgive yourself before you forgive others. if you need some more prayer in this and you ever want to talk to about this give me a call

also, what does your g/f think of this situation. if it was me who had to be examined by a docor, i would feel so humiliated. also, what did the text msg say that was so suspicious. its ok if you don't wanna say, im curious what you said, tho. if you (no offense) were not mature enough to be responsible and delete the messages, how can you be responsible enough for a relationship??

if you (no offense) were not mature enough to be responsible and delete the messages, how can you be responsible enough for a relationship??

maturity starts, IMO, with not even going down that path in the first place, much less deletinng some messages.

petrameansrock - i'm not meaning to say this to be rude or anything like that...we've all messed up to different degrees. we are all growing and maturing. so please view this as an encouragement in the right path vs. tearing you down (i would never want to do that).

i agree with unshakeable.
as much as i appreciate the uplifting comment, it was tracy (theelectric3) not i who wrote that great advice. :)

petra, there's not much i can add that these fine folks haven't already said. i pray that you grow from this.

as much as i appreciate the uplifting comment, it was tracy (theelectric3) not i who wrote that great advice. :)

oopsies.. sry. :-[ i do mix your user names up in my head sometimes... sry again. let me rephrase that... i agree with theelectric.

it's alright. :) we're both pretty cool people so it happens. ;)

rite - i personally joke about this stuff wit ma boi all the time - n i dont see that as a problem as long as we both no we r joking around

it not petrameansrocks fault that his gal didnt delete the mesages - that is is his gals responsibility - tho i would say dont send msg's like that to g/fs mums fone 0 send 2 g'fs fone...
i dont no tho
i do understand all the other ppls' points but i think petrameansrock deserves a bit of slack i mean it not all his fault his g/f must have been responding in a sexual way n so give him a bit of slack he is a teen guy hallo

that just my opinions


guv him some slack n about her parents jst dont b 3 heavie wit g/f atm -

will b praying

* gives petra slack *
* smiles *

no, seriously though this really isn't a joking topic...

it's alright. :) we're both pretty cool people so it happens. ;)

hah.

i'm pretty sure none of us are meaning to come down harsh on him...he just wanted honest opinions on the matter.


of course it isn't all his fault. but what's done is done and you have to move on from there and face the consquences. whether or not it was all his fault isn't really the issue. his g/f's mom won't trust him (and it's understandable...from a parent's perspective).

and call me old-fashion but just because one is a teen doesn't mean they have to joke around about sexual things and it's understandable.

(again, petrameansrock, we've all made mistakes. i'm claiming you are a horrible guys...please believe me. it's just that i have faith in you to turn this situation around for the better and not let this kind of behavior control you...with God's help, of course.)