Well, if some of you that can remember, I've come before the boards before with my struggle of anorexia. And so now, it's back, even worse and as consuming. I think it has less to do with my physical apperance and more about emotional problems. For one thing, I can all the time feel that my best friend would be better off without me (but I know that's not true). But I just can't get that out of my head. Like no one cares. And I feel myself drifting away from God, I'm so cold now. I'd just like to please ask you to keep me in your prayers to over come this perpetual struggle in my life. I know this is nothing to tamper with, and that's why I'm seeking help!!! :'(

I am Praying for you. Sorta like in the book I am reading... Don't let the devil get to you and cause you to feel like no you loves you or whatever feelings you have.

I will keep you in my prayers!! I'd advice that you keep in the word and pray like mad! Dude, seriously, I'll be like keeping you in my prayers! :'(

Gosh, I am so scared right now. Those stupid.....anorexic thoughts kept burning into my mind. I mean, last time, well, that was a close call, I didn't even see it coming. But this time, it's different. I mean, it's bad. This evening, I was soooooo horribly close to gaging myself! Then, I stopped myself, wondering what in the heck I was doing. Despite the hunger pains, I could actually feel my stomach sink in! I know this is the last thing ever you want to hear. I know the devil is getting me down so hard. The only thing that ever brings me back is the distant, vague, echoing voice of John Cooper singing "I'm strong than the devil..." in my head.

Father, I cry out to you for this girl! Lord, save her from the demons that keep pestering her into doing things that are not good! I pray that You are always on her mind, and that she remembers scripture, quotes, and even songs to get her through this! I cry out in Your name that you save her! Provide a HUGE blanket of protection and keep us all in steadfast prayer for her! Heal her Father. In Jesus' Almighty Name, AMEN!

I am prayin for you!!!

Thank you guys for praying with me. I'm really concerned. I'm just teetering on the edge. I'm really trying you guys...I'm trying....

hey just keep fighting! I am praying for you!!!

I'm praying for ya! You can get through this, I know you can! I know people who have struggled with anorexia and made a complete turn-around, you can do it too!! Just keep fighting it!

this is the first thing that came to my mind when i read your post:

when you are deliverd from something, you need to fill yourself with the word of God. build yourself up in that area. say anorexia, well, read verses of God's love for you, how He has a plan for you, how He sees you, how you are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image, etc. meditate on these verses, until they go past your mind and into your heart. then you can really grow and find victroy in that area of your life. because if it ever tried to come back, you could fight it off with His word.

the alternative is to get deliverd, and basically stay the same way...

in one of the gospels [Jesus speaking] He tells of an account where someone can get deliverd and the demon leaves the person and finding no place to go, goes back to the original person and sees that it is clean, but not occupied. [meaning they were not filled with the word of God. the person got delieverd but did not move on in their walk, did not dig into His word - being made strong in the area where the demon had occupation.] so the demon goes and finds 7 demons, more wicked than himself, and all 8 enter into the person. so the person is worse off now than before. [this happend to a friend of ours - she is better now, thank you Lord - so yes, this is not make believe. it is serious stuff we are dealing with here.]

so what i am saying? read His word. build yourself up in this area. it is a spiritual battle going on. satan wants to destroy you. the only way you fight satan successfully is by the word of God. [that's what Jesus did when He was tempted in the wilderness.] you can have victory over this. it's just going to take having people pray for you, you digging into His word for yourself and seeing what He has to say, and chosing as an act of your will [regardless of what you mind, emotions and flesh tell you] to eat food and keep it in your system. it would be cool to have scriptures by you while you eat - getting yourself spiritually and physically built up at the same time. and have your parents, or godly friends that you trust, read scriptures over you as you sleep [or maybe even look into getting the bible on tape that you can listen to it while you sleep]. constantly feed yourself with the word. why? to get it inside of you. so that whenever satan comes and tries to tempt you, you have an abundance of scripture to fire back. you will be prepared, have understanding and insight for the scriptures. and through of all this, you will be drawn closer to God.

remember, He never leaves. whenever we feel distant from Him - we are the ones that moved, not Him.

i will be praying for you girl. send me a PM if you ever wanna talk more one on one. seriously.

*note: this post was written out of love for you, wanting to see you get victory over this. it was not said in condemnation.*

hey ...um i'm not the best person in the world to give advice, but maybe you should see a counselor. my counselor Jackie Wilkersin is a christian she is really good, she could help you. i can give you her e-mail if you're interested.

I know this is nothing to tamper with, and that's why I'm seeking help!!! :'(


Hey Korey_Cooper_Jr.,

I am a Christian Counselor and I work with one of the top Eating Disorder Psychiatrists in the U.S. What you are struggling with is a VERY SERIOUS medical condition that if left untreated can lead to your death. You must have your parents seek treatment for you and please do not let this go. What Thee Electric3 said is true.
When we are suffering with difficulties and we are weak is when Satan and his demons attack us. We here at the boards are here for you and we are praying for you.
John Cooper's words are such a blessing and I encourage you to hold on to them and to believe them.
A few Skillet songs that have helped me when I am down are.

1. Will you be there?
2. Rest
3. You are my hope
4. Kill me heal me.
5. I can
6. Cycle Down
I hope this helps. Anytime you want to you may PM me.
If your parents want help finding treatment for your disorder they can e-mail me and I will get back to them.
My psychiatrist co-workers would be more than happy to help me help you find the proper care.

ROCK OUT!!!

APANHEADSDADDY :)

wow a counselor that likes Skillet? that's so cool. my counselor is an older woman but she's still awesome!

I just want to thank yuo guys soooooo much for helping me out (yet again). I know I haven't been on here in forever, but, I am pleased and proud to say that I am now officially over this eating thing. I was just falling away from God and needed to be reminded of a few things to put my feet back on the ground. Skillet's "Forsaken" really hit the spot because "I recall going madly in love with You...". I had lost that zeal to thirt for Him. And that's what kept me strong every day! The things of this world were just getting to me. But I'm finally back on the road to recovery AND strength in Him. I understand and love Him more now. Thank you so much for taking your guys' time to reply to my topic. It really helped - in a way I couldn't describe. I just needed to know SOMEONE cared. *hugs*

Yay! Good for you! I'm still praying!

yay for korey jr. i'm glad to know that your problem wasn't because you think you're fat or anything. gosh i hate it when skinny girls do that. it's like they're starved for attention or some crap. (heh...heh...starved.....that's funny. Pardon my sick humor...it's the product of all the sh** i've been through. forgive me.)

i'm glad you're better now. i've been praying for you, Miss Korey.

gosh i hate it when skinny girls do that. it's like they're starved for attention or some crap.
Actually, that's not always the reason. There are other things that set off that type of thinking too. :P

I'm so excited to hear that you're over it, Korey_Cooper_Jr!! That's awesome!! I knew you could do it! ;D :D :)

i know that's not ALWAYS the reason. some of my friends do it for attention, others because their parents are so strict and the girl just wants to control a part of her life and her weight is one only SHE can control. one friend of mine, just hates eating, she hates the feeling of food in her mouth. it's really spooky but i still wuv her. *hugs*

praise God! glad to hear you are doing better Korey_Cooper_Jr.! :) *hugs*

wow a counselor that likes Skillet? that's so cool. my counselor is an older woman but she's still awesome!


Ye I am also an old fart counselor but I love to go to Skillet concerts and ROCK OUT!!!!!
John Cooper saw me head banging to Energy and he went over to kori and said hey look at that dude!! As he pointed at me.
In the meet and greet line John said, "dude I hope I can rock like you when I get your age" i am also known as
"the old dude with the big iron skillet" Skillet music helps me to keep my focus on Jesus as I attempt to reach out to others and serve them in Jesus name. I see so much sorrow and pain in peoples lives but skillet helps me keep my head on straight. Their songs are so full of encouragement and hope.

APANHEADSDADDY :)

Hey guys, an up-date here. I'm still doing good. Actually, really better now. I'm at a good normal weight, and plan on start to excersize, lift weights, and join softball to stay in shape in stuff. I just want to thank you guys so much again. My life actually was at stake. :-

I actually was inspired to write a song about what I was going through. During my eating disorder, I started writing this song, then after I found rest and quit being anorexic, I finished it. It may not touch alot of people or be very "cool" to some people, or no one may really appreciate the song, but every time I play it I praise God for pulling me out from my flesh. Here's the song I wrote called "Higher".

HIGHER


Verse 1:
I fall down on my knees
I want to give up
Haven't I fought long enough?
Drifting away from You
I cant hold for much longer
I'm reaching up, reaching up for You...

Chorus:
Take me, take me higher
I'm drowning in my own sin
You set my soul on fire
Take me, higher, where I've never been

Verse 2:
I struggle with my old ways
But You bleach my sins
With the blood of the Lamb
I've wrestled with this endlessly
There's no other substitute
You're stretching out, stretching out for me...

Chorus

Bridge:
I'm tired of dying inside
I want to be whole once again
Engulf me in Your presence
'Cause I'm stronger in You

[Guitar Riff]

Chorus 2x


Copyright: Amelia Conway, November 2003

that's awesome that you've gotten to where you are now. :D Praise God for all He's done in your life. o/

that song is rockin' as well. :) it could be a prayer that each of us prays for sure. i can't wait until you make it big so i can hear it on a CD or live in concert. ;)

Wow... that is a beautiful song... Making me cry, b/c that's exactly the way I feel...
I'm so glad that you've conquered that stuff. That's really incredible for you...

Wow... that is a beautiful song... Making me cry, b/c that's exactly the way I feel...
I'm so glad that you've conquered that stuff. That's really incredible for you...


Wow, I'm so glad my song touched you as much as it did me. It lifted such a burden for me when writing it. I stopped writing the song about on the second verse when dealign with my eating disorder. Then once I over came it, I found hope and my true love once again, and in the part where it says "..'Cause I'm stronger in You..." That's the part where I'm coming back spiritually, smotionally, and physically. It's my testimony really. Sometimes I just wish when I play it I could tell all my teen peers I went through anorexia, but my Savior carried me through it! But it's just a little secret I'll have to keep to myself for a while. *shrugs* But yeah, I actually DO plan on trying to become an artist, like Jennifer Knapp. But really, I just wanna do whatever God WANTS ME to do. EVen if that means being a janitor in the Church. I'm willing.

But thank you guys so much for support and stuff, I know God worked through you guys. :) *hugs* PRAISE GOD!!!! I'M FINALLY FREE FROM MYSELF!!!!!

Wow that is a beautiful song---I really wish I could write songs like that. :) But I stick to fiction. :P

Well, thank you cherrypanhead. I'm so happy that you guys actually like my song.... and by the way cherrypanhead, fiction is a cool way of writing. Keep it unique ;)

Thank you guys so much for everything! *a tear would be appropriate here*

Im really gonna have to change my avature now, but that song Really, Really reminds me of 38th Parallels song,"Here My Cry", Its like your song, the way you were suffering, then asked God to heal you, to "here your cry". Very good song (your song)

glad to hear you are doing really good and how you got a song from the whole situation. :)

Thankx you guys. Yeah, now that I look back, man, I can't believe I was even in that shape. But I thank God for pulling me out of that spiral down. If it weren't for His grace, I probably wouldn't be here....

If it weren't for His grace, I probably wouldn't be here....


can't we all say that tho? ;) but i know what you mean. saying "He is awesome" seems to have new meaning when He brings us out of our own depravity doesn't it?

Yeah, exactly. I actually kina refound my purpose in life. He's so good to me.

Ya know, I was watching this Christian show, and one of the people on there said "You feel as beautiful and He makes you feel". You can take that message any ways you want ~ God, boyfriend, etc. But I was thinking "ya know, I didn't feel to beautiful, but God made me feel beautiful in every way". How true.

Guys i need some prayer in this area only it is not for me and it is about bulimia. A really good friend of mine, she is like a daughter to me told me that she is bulimic. She doesn't have any desire to stop what she is doing because it is like a high or addiction for her. I am doing my best to keep my eye on her all the time. But she is breaking my heart, and it is like i am watching her kill herself and i told her i wouldn't tell anyone but i told my mom and we are deciding whether or not to get her counseling, we are helping raise her, that is why i veiw her as my daughter, and i just dont want her to hate me for getting her help. I really need you guys right now because i am stuck in a spot of confusion of what to do. Please pray for me, give me advice, i cant stand this, anytime she isn't with me and am thinking she is throwing up or when i see out of class at school i think 'what if she was in the bathroom throwing up so i wouldn't know'. It is the most horrible feeling. PLEASE PLEASE help me. Thank you so much. I am desperate. Love, Angelo

you did the right thing by telling someone. just because you promise not to tell a secret doesn't mean you have to honor that. in most cases you should, but when the secret is hurting someone, it needs to be told. by telling your mom, you've started a chain of events that will help your friend stop.

she will probably not like you for telling someone, but it was the right thing anyway. i will be praying for your friend, she will need all the help she can get. & God can give her (& you & your mom) all the help you'll ever need. :)

Well, the prolem is this. Her aunt and uncle dont know. She is staying with them (my nextdoor neighbors) until school is over. And we aren't sure if we should tell them yet or just keep our eye on her you know? And she is with me alot, I just dont want her to hate me for the next four months she is here with me. Then she goes back to hawaii, and i couldn't bare having her leave hating me you know? And my mom has never had to deal with something like this, so we arent exactly sure the best way to go about getting her the help she needs. Thank you so much for the prayer, i really appreciate it.

which is worse, having her leave in 4 months hating you? or watching her waste away & die in front of you? (not exactly literally, but pretty close). it might be one of the hardest things you ever have to do, but it will be one of the most rewarding. i would tell her aunt & uncle to let them know what she's going through.

i'll still be praying. :) for you especially.

Well, her counselor at school had her sign up for a class that meets once a week at school and it is a all girls group counseling lesson, so my mom and I are kinda just gonna watch and see how she is doing. But yeah we are trying to decide what to do. It is just so hard. Thanks so much for your prayers.