unshakeable15
09-29-2005, 11:57 AM
one of the biggest problems in the world is miscommunication. with your parents, with your spouse, between countries, between people groups. it causes more strife than probably anything else. online, people either misread, misinterpret or don't pay attention well enough. many are the times i find someone a little huffy in the Hill because of something they read that the accused never wrote.

recently we (the mods) have noticed (as have others) that there seems to be a tenseness to Mars Hill that makes it not as great a place as it should be.

so, on that note, here are a couple reminders, for everyone, about how to act in Mars Hill, and elsewhere. (but here is where people tend to get more offended.)

first off, remember that not everyone shares your opinion and that is perfectly all right. none of us is the final authority on anything. God and His Word are the only Final Authorities. the problem is, we aren't the final authority even on those so the same passage might read 5 different ways by 5 different people. and all might be right to some degree.

second, people may not agree with your opinion (like i said before) and that's ok. diversity makes this world more beautiful (black and white is fine, but color is what makes it so special). also, though they disagree with your opinion, please don't take it as an attack on you personally.

conversely, do not attack people, simply discuss their views and how they differ from your own.

third, watch your tone. there are some personalities on here that us "old hands" can read through the obvious and see the sarcastic nature of the words (but even then, we don't always see it). always remember, things don't read as they were written. that is, once the words are on the page or screen, they are living. they breathe and move of their own. what you said (or what you thought you said) isn't how it's always read.

you meant the emphasis to be on the word "grandmother" but others are seeing "the moon" to be more important. and "jealous" doesn't quite have the same meaning to everyone that it does with you. basically, people's background comes into play into how they read and interpret the written word.

having said that, i'm sure the other mods will add whatever else they need to. feel free, as well, to add whatever you feel we have left out.

skynes
09-29-2005, 12:27 PM
Multicultural people: Not everyone on here is from America. So not everyone will use words in the same context as everyone else. Words mean different things in different countries, and possibly, even across states.

It may be useful sometimes to check the Location bit under their name just in case there could be a cultural mix-up.

NightCrawler
09-29-2005, 10:23 PM
I try to separate my arguments from my emotions. It helps the arguments' validity, avoids hurt feelings, and helps keep things straight mentally.

JustJill
10-17-2005, 10:57 AM
GEE....BUT...ISN'T AMERICA the Most important Country ever?? Just teasing!

deadb4dawn
11-09-2005, 02:12 PM
sorry if i have ever done that

asparagus
11-20-2005, 03:20 PM
I think there are some phrases that only divide people and damage honest discussion. I call them bumper sticker slogans, and I don't think they are helpful in explaining your point. Often, I think they are perceived as belittling or offensive. Frequenly, they are both.

Here's an example dealing with abortion.
From pro-lifers, I often hear:
"Abortion is murder."

From pro choicers, I often hear:
"Abortion is a choice."

I think everyone who is pro-choice has heard that abortion is murder. I think everyone who is pro-life has had it said to them that abortion is a woman's choice. Yet, I don't think these phrases have convinced anyone. They don't add anything to the discussion.

Think about this: these phrases only root people more strongly into their position.

"Bumper sticker" conversations do nothing to convince. There is no listening, no respect, and no attempt to understand. I'd go as far to say that there is no real effort to convince.

I'm tired of these phrases. They get us nowhere. Saying to someone who just got talked into having an abortion that they are a "baby killer" gets us nowhere. Indeed, I would often suspect that they know that--the issue for women getting abortions isn't knowing that it is wrong, but feeling like they have no other options.

These phrases are stupid. Often they state the obvious, they utilize an unethical straw-man attack, and finally, there is no way to respond to them.

In reality, isn't every abortion a choice? I mean do these statements really change anything? So what if abortion is a choice? So are a lot of other illegal things.

"Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Duh. We legislate tons of things that don't kill people directly. These phrases get us nowhere.

"God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." These phrases serve only to anger a neighbor against us.

"Stop the hate." Don't we all agree that hate is a bad thing? These phrases don't address the real issues that divide people. No one is pro-hate.

"America is the only first-world country without nationalized healthcare." What does that matter? Being in a statistical minority does not make it anymore statistically unlikely that you are wrong. Bumper sticker slogans manipulate.

I've tried to uses some common slogans from "both sides of the isle," so that no one side feels attacked. Please, understand the issue here is not abortion or guns, but the way we talk about them. I think Jesus was a good listener and we should be too.

I do have one bumper sticker on my car. It says, "love wins."

amodman
02-10-2006, 10:46 AM
Italitization and bolding are wonderful things. They often pinpoint the exact word or phrase you are attempting to put emphasis on ;). ( < So are emoticons, expressions in an expressionless world, as they say. Or, in this case, text.)

alorian
02-14-2006, 06:43 PM
I think we should all read this monthly.


Your point will be taken more seriously, and be more respected, even if disagreed with, if one backs up their point with valid facts, uses proper grammer, etc.

Nedarbi
09-05-2006, 12:02 PM
yes it is always good to have a thread like this. keeping people inlighted on how to properly communicate on a forum is good, especially when there are people with serious threads and serious problems.

what i usually do to avoid arguments is state a personal opinion. i often find that people forget to state what they say as opinion and make it come off as a fact. this angers many people. thats another thing to watch out for.

unshakeable15
10-07-2006, 03:15 PM
If the new people go over the past 7 pages, they'll prolly see what they were gonna say.

It's just everytime a thread comes back to life [...] it's new people saying the exact same things the people a year ago did, that others said a year before that, that the oldest members said when it started.
Quote for Truth.

It's hard, and can be daunting, but it's an excellent idea to at least get a feel for the thread you are wanting to respond to before you actually respond. If you are afraid of forgetting what you wanted to say in the first place after reading 20 different opinions over 15 pages of a thread, write your response, save it in Word (or even *shock* in a notepad) to edit (that is, take out the redundant parts already said by others in the thread) and post later.

Spiffles
10-09-2006, 12:21 AM
you know what.. this "new" people bringing old threads thing is so stupid.. Older members were posting in those same threads AFTER they were gravedug also. It is NOT just new people.
If people have a problem with gravedigging.. Dont post in those threads at all.. Thats pretty simple concept isnt it?? Instead of posting after a gravedigging.. then later on in the same thread going " oh this is old why is it come back" just dont post..
It isnt just new people..

dawn of light
10-09-2006, 09:00 AM
Spiffles, I actually brought this up in the Speaking in Tongues thread. Take a look to see what was discussed. :)

dawn of light
10-09-2006, 09:04 AM
On another note, Spiffles, he's not saying it's "forbidden" to grave dig. Just to read the thread before you do so you're not repeating anything that someone already said.

unshakeable15
10-12-2006, 01:34 PM
Gravedigging is fine, perfectly fine, so long as you have a reason to dig. Don't just pull it up because you're bored or you think it's a good topic that needs to be discussed again. If it needs discussed again (or so you think) post something new or exciting in the thread to get the ball rolling.

And yes, all that's meant by the above is that it's polite to read what has come before so you don't need to reinvent the wheel every time someone drags up the discussion.

Vuren
11-01-2006, 09:36 PM
something that annother forum suggests(it's a game forum, www.vanguardsoh.com/board(or it might be/forum can't remember). is that if a post upsets you and you do want to respond write the response then, and then save it for maybe an hour or 2(or longer if need be) and then read through it and change it so it doesn't express the wrong emotion and has less of a chance of causing a flame war.