10-05-2005, 02:36 AM
At the moment I'm listening to "grace and love" by Kutless.. it's so amazing.

Anyway.. this is so stupid, but I really like this girl. Her name is Rebecca. Since I met her she has been the most beautiful girl I've ever known and I can't help but love everything about her. I'm not sure if she knows that, I don't think she does and I don't think she likes me back and telling her would ruin all that we have now.

It's just hard thats all. I never thought I could really be in love again. I have some pretty high standards for a girlfriend and there's no way I want to rush into anything.. and so most girls that I meet.. sometime later there is something I see in them that I couldn't live with and it turns me right off them. It can be very small stuff. But I see Bec's heart and even though she has made mistakes (who hasn't) her way of dealing with them and her way of thinking is just so beautiful to me and I can't help but love her so much. The way she does things.. things that she does that she doesn't even notice .. she's so beautiful. WHen I meet people.. it's not unsual for me to have a crush for say a week until they do something that totally rips them out of my heart. Bec has been on my heart for the past 6 months + and I just love her ways of doing things. I'm not very good at explaining myself.

So right now I'm just struggling a lil.. it's not too big.. it just hurts a lot, because even if Bec did like me, I feel that I have no right to touch such a beautiful child of God.. even if she liked me, I'm just nothing compared to how amazing she is. I love it how she doesn't care too much about her appearance. I love the way she blinks.. it's so unique. And I love the way she just makes me smile.. she looks into my eyes and I can feel so much love. *tears* SHe lives in her room.. she's not fussy, she has this awesome taste in music that is hard to find in anybody.. she has this comedic element that just cracks me up.. and her emails and messages in unique ways come just at the right time when they're needed and something just feels different about this girl. Since we met I've started to fall in love with her looks too. It's just hard holding it all in. SHe's such a nice girl..

I can't believe how much she cared when I was feeling low. I sent her these emails.. that I would have thought.. would really freak someone out.. about a time I was feeling low.. and she returned my email with such an encouraging, uplifting, loving email.. and I expected a lot less.. and she has just been so open with me and I've been open with her and we've shared a lot of amazing times and I just don't know what to do right now. Does anybody know how I'm feeling?

I have such a blessed life though.. a wonderful family, great friends.. awesome opportunities.. I know God has some big plans for me if I stick with Him.. and of course I will. I still really love Bec right now and I don't want to stop. BUt truely.. she could do so much better than me.. she's just such a beautiful person. SHe's in bed sleeping and snoring a lil right now.. and I'm on her computer. I'm from the Gold coast.. she's from Sydney.. I came to visit. I've had the best time here.. I should just be thankful for that. She just woke up and smiled at me. SHe's sooo beautiful.. I'm sorry.. I know no one could understand right now.

i took out her full name so as to protect her. :)

10-05-2005, 03:56 AM
Another Aussie... yay yay yay..

Anyway... The advice I give people in this sort of situation is, to really pray to God, and get into him heaps and heaps.. Ask him what he thinks about it all.

I feel that I have no right to touch such a beautiful child of God.. even if she liked me, I'm just nothing compared to how amazing she is.
A couple of things here..
First I want to say.. it is really nice to see you think liek that in one way. It shows that you respect and honour her, and that is an awesome thing. That however doesnt mean you shouldnt have a relationship with her if it was what God wanted or what you both chose to get into..
All you should do if that happened was set some rules between the two of you that keep that respect and homour.. I cant say what they are cause it's a personal thing thats different for everyone..

BUt truely.. she could do so much better than me..

I think you should think better of yourself.. your honour and repect for this girl is a big blessing and quality that you have..
Your a Child of God, just as she is.. That makes you a prince in Gods kingdom, and thats how God sees you, as one of his children.
With that attituade you have of honour and respect, you are good enough for that girl, if its what God wants and is the right thing for you both.

P.S. your an aussie, yay yay yay yay yay.. I thought I was the only aussie round here, but i'm not, yay yay yay...

10-05-2005, 04:10 AM
hehehe.. yes I'm an Aussie. Thanks for your comments. They help.. thanks a lot. It's funny cause even though I already know stuff like that it just helps hearing it from someone else.

I've been round these sites for yonkas! I'm surprised we haven't met yet

10-05-2005, 08:46 AM
BUt truely.. she could do so much better than me..
And because you think that, that means that you two can't be together? I am sorry to say, but it's not your choice who she ends up with. If she wants you, she will choose you over everyone else. And that's not because she'll be settling for less, or just taking whatever, but because she fell in love with the person who she thinks is the best. It is her choice, not yours. It sounds to me that you have some trouble accepting the fact that you're human, and that others don't neccessarily see the mistakes that you make, but who you are. Consider this: If she looked at your mistakes and saw only them, would she have allowed you to travel to Australia to meet her? Highly doubtful. And I know it's difficult, but sometimes you just have to let go of the stupid things you've done in your past, because they will only hold you down and shatter your confidence. That's what it seems to me is going on. Anyway, hope you have/had a good trip.

10-05-2005, 05:31 PM
Gold Coast is in Australia Buggy, hehehe, he only traveled about 1 days drive.

10-05-2005, 05:50 PM
Love god with all your heart soul and mind and all will be given to you.

10-05-2005, 08:49 PM
Gold Coast is in Australia Buggy, hehehe, he only traveled about 1 days drive.
Oh...sorry, I missed where he was from. And like I know anyway...My geography is horrible! I can't even being to tell you where the majority of places are in the world, let alone America... :P

10-05-2005, 09:52 PM
having gone through something a bit similar (just enough to apply, but not really any more), let me share something.

first, those above me are right on (except Lydia's geographic mistake. ;) but, we can forgive her for that one).

now, i like(d) this girl. she liked me back. i didn't talk to her about it for years. let it all build up. finally did talk to her. got things moving. before they got too far, she ended up stopping the relationship. i was still going on in my heart with it though. just this past weekend, finally shared where i was with her. she lovingly said what she needed to (that romantically we are nowhere). but oddly, hearing that is freeing.

basically, honesty is the best policy. if you like her but don't let her know, all you are doing is supressing your feelings. nothing really comes from that. sure, you can wait 'til God's time comes, nothing wrong with that. but don't be afraid of what her answer will be. friendships can withstand unrequited love if both friends are honest with each other, and with themselves.

10-05-2005, 11:32 PM
I don't live in Australia.

10-05-2005, 11:59 PM
basically, honesty is the best policy. if you like her but don't let her know, all you are doing is supressing your feelings. nothing really comes from that. sure, you can wait 'til God's time comes, nothing wrong with that. but don't be afraid of what her answer will be. friendships can withstand unrequited love if both friends are honest with each other, and with themselves.

I too have been in a similar situation. It can get messy, but, as Mike said, if you are good friends your relationship could still last if you are honest. I've had this happen with two girls (about a year apart) I know, both were good friends in my opinion and after they found out... well I have poor timing and they had moved away (temporarly) shortly after, but we still have a good friendship.

But I'd say that you should still use caution with these situations. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve for everyone to see. I know now that there have been a few relationships that probably wouldn't have worked out and it was probably better that it wasn't known that I "liked" her. There are times that it is good that you let it be known, but there are times that others need not know what is going on in your head/heart.

10-06-2005, 12:17 PM
marc marc marc....im w/ sky (well, & every1 else) on this one. especially b/c all of the awsome things uve said to me!! for the many PMs & emails weve sent to each other, especially talking about things of this type of topic. uve helped me out so much in my life alone...ur an awsome guy & u reely dont give urself enough credit. dont be distracted by thinking unhighly of urself, pray about it. hmmm, dont take this the wrong way, but i dont see any reason y she wouldnt like u. not to mention...ur a drummer, now, y wouldnt she go for that?? ;)


10-06-2005, 01:43 PM
That's some good advice from the people above. Being honest with her and all that jazz. I mean, unless you really feel it wouldn't work out or God doesn't want you to pursue a relationship right now, or whatever, then I'd tell her. Granted, you live a days travel from her, but I live a 4 day travel from my fiance, and our wedding's in 16 days. :D So don't think that the distance is too big an issue, granted, it sucks and is perhaps the worst thing ever, but still, it can work out.

10-06-2005, 10:10 PM
Thanks very much everyone.. you've been really helpful. Sometimes I hate being in love, haha.. but yeah I think I'll just be honest. Thanks for all your good advice & caring. It means a lot.

10-07-2005, 03:15 PM
You cannot give away your heart. Only God can give away your heart. You can trust that he will only give it to someone who is going to take care of it as he does. Though we may try to give our hearts away on different occasions it in unsuccessful. This is the tragic experience known as being heart broken. Attempting to give away what is not yours only to have it eventually rejected and handed back to you. Hold on to your heart. Give others a glimpse of the beauty but don't give them the responsibility of making sure it's never corrupted. Only God may keep our heart pure and joyful. Any attempt of gaining that by others means will only result in pain and regret.

I read that on someone's xanga a few days ago, and I find it - extroadanarily (wow, talk about a misspelling :-\ ;) ) relevant.

10-07-2005, 04:51 PM
Get 'em, Tiger. Sounds like you both like each other. It is rare to have that, and it seems very genuine. Tell her how you feel! I mean, really. :)

10-07-2005, 05:48 PM
And then don't forget to tell us how it goes. :)

10-08-2005, 04:49 AM
My name is Bec... And I think Marc is the most amazing person.

If anything,he deserves better.

And that's all I have to say.

10-08-2005, 03:21 PM
:o Er...what just happened? I take it you told her then? Tell us what happened!

10-08-2005, 05:01 PM
My guess would be she pulled up what he was doing on the computer to read it.

10-08-2005, 06:30 PM
Er...interesting. So...is this a good thing?

10-08-2005, 06:47 PM
She didn't sound shocked or angry...I'm guessing perhaps he told her...or told her to read this as his way of telling her...I dunno...

10-08-2005, 09:56 PM
You both feel the same way about each other. You both seem to want to honour and respect each other as Gods children, so I would say you both talk about it, but to me it seems like you should go for it as far as a relationship is concered.

10-09-2005, 02:53 AM
Just for clarification, it's Bec again.

I probably shouldn't be on his account right now... I doubt he even realised that I posted in the first place (er, hey Marc! Don't kill me). There are so many thoughts running through my head at the moment so please excuse me if nothing makes sense -- I'll strive to keep this short and sweet.

Marc's mentioned it to me before, but we have this kind of relationship where we joke a lot, so I never really took him 100 percent seriously. I guess I kind of wanted to ignore the fact that he may have felt more for me, as we had (and still have) such a beautiful friendship... And I don't want that ruined... Anyways, so I guess he showed me this page last night as a way of completely explaining the way he felt. I was incredibly close to crying.

Marc walked out of my room a few minutes ago... I don't know if he's angry, or just confused and feeling weirded out right now. Probably a combination of all those things. I doubt any of this makes sense to anyone, so when Marc comes online he'll have to post the complete story.

To Marc - Last night when we hugged... I had a hint of a tear in my eye, because at that moment I realised just how incredible you are... I fought with the fact that I felt as though I was falling for you. It was something that I didn't see coming, and it scared me. Yeah, I'm confused right now... I don't entirely understand my feelings. But whatever happens, God's will WILL be done.

The amount of times he's been there for me is amazing, i've taken him for granted in numerous ways. I'm the most imperfect person, and I continue to make stupid mistakes and Marc is always there by my side, encouraging me... His friendship is something that I thank God for everyday. I don't want to lose it.

ANnnnnnnnnnnnyways... All this emotional talk is getting me depressed, haha. I guess the only one that might fully understand it is Marc. Perhaps an email would have been more appropriate, but hey... No turning back now.

Thank you all for hearing me babble.

10-09-2005, 04:39 AM
Hey it's Marc..

I just left the room because I was just really confused like Bec is and I really wasn't sure what was happening. Maybe I'm just scared. I don't know. I wasn't expecting Bec to want to talk to me anymore for the rest of my time here, cause I just felt like a loser.

I'm sorry Bec.. thanks for being so loving when I came back in your room & for your kind words. They're just what I needed to hear. Thanks for understanding..

10-09-2005, 05:05 AM
I think it's cool that you two have such an awsome friendship.

I am going to be very frank with my advice.

Bec, some of your reservations about getting into a more serious relationship with Marc may be because he admits that in the past, once he gets the girl, he looses interest. That is a valid concern.

Marc, you are 19. There is still plenty of time to take things slow and let the relationship grow. The older you are when you allow a relationship to become serious, the better the chance of that relationship making it. Keep that in mind.

If you really care and respect Bec, you will give her time to feel comfortable. I had a guy pressure me to move into a dating relationship after I told him I wasn't ready. I had just been through some things and I wanted some time to camp out with just God for awhile and heal. I finally gave in and the results were disasterous.

Regardless of her reasons for wanting to hold back, you need to respect that. If it takes not being around her quite as much, you may have to do that. I know that is hard. I think maybe that will show her that you really do respect her.

Don't force it. Let it happen. You both know that you are special to one another. Let that be enough right now.

Also, I am concerned about what you said concerning how you respond when you see people's flaws. The best thing for you to do would be to REALLY focus on your relationship with God. If God was your focus, would you have been interested in girls you would soon realize weren't for you?

I realize that is easier said than done. I know I use to date Christian guys who were great guys, and I guess I pretty much just tried to figure out how they fit in to my Christian life, and if they met all of my requirements on my "checklist".

I think we've got it backwards. If we are true servants of God's, we wait until He says, "That's the one". And we don't keep a checklist.

What if Hosea had kept a checklist? I can see it now. Hosea 1:3 "But God, she's a prostitute. I'm a man of God. I've been a good boy and I want a good girl."

Yeah, right. Hosea didn't even question. Yet, we have our expectations. I believe expectations are the number 1 relationship killer. Wether it is a marriage, dating, friedship, parental, or God relationship. Who are we to have expectations? God is God. Listen, Obey.

10-09-2005, 01:12 PM
hm, yes. i agree with you Lisa. well said.

10-09-2005, 06:12 PM
Thanks Lisa..

That was a very valid point about Hosea. lol.. I think it's time to change my way of thinking :)

And what you said about giving each other space, I'm really behind that. That was the problem in my first (and only) relationship.. I mean I'm totally for giving people some space, I think it's a really good idea. My last girlfriend and I went out for 11 months.. and I think the main problem was she didnt' give me enough space. She was a very nice girl, just a lil obsessive.
1 thing I wanted to do at one stage was just stop kissing for a while.. so she agreed and it was a really good way of slowing the relationship down. That lasted about 5 weeks.. then things were a lot better, because I like the idea of taking away physical parts of the relationship cause it should be based on a friendship. Anyway.. a little later I wanted to stop kissing again.. but she told me that if I made her do that she'd break up with me.. and that made me realise how shallow the relationship had become for her. After the initial break up.. she wasn't even that sad, because it wasn't that deep anymore.

I don't want to rush into anything and either does Bec.. so I think for now we're just gonna be friends and wait to see what could happen in the future. I'm excited and happy just to be friends.. but haha.. also a lil worried Bec might meet someone else.. but I shouldn't be.. cause I know Bec is a Godly girl and if God brings her someone else then perhaps we weren't meant to be. I don't know. hahaha.. what do you think Bec?

To Bec: I'm just really happy to know someone like you.. it's like a lil flower in the picture of my life. I'm more than happy to be friends. :) Thanks for everything..

10-11-2005, 04:58 AM
Hmm... I'm not in a rush to get into a relationship (if that's what I implied by what i wrote i'm sorry, lol).

Staying single for the next 5 years seems like a very good option.

I should make a profile on this thing so I don't have to use Marc's all the time.

God bless everyone. :)

10-11-2005, 05:15 AM
Yes, "Join Bec, Join" Can't you hear us chanting? Unless...........Marc's really some schizo and there really is no Bec. Yeah. Anyway...

10-11-2005, 01:32 PM
Hmm... I'm not in a rush to get into a relationship (if that's what I implied by what i wrote i'm sorry, lol).

Staying single for the next 5 years seems like a very good option.

I should make a profile on this thing so I don't have to use Marc's all the time.

God bless everyone. :)

:o :o :o

5 years is a long time!
Yes, taking your time and not rushing into a relationship is a good thing as it enables you both to work out everything that you both need to. I wouldnt put a time limit on it though, just whenever you both feel its right to move on or continue or whatever you both decide.

and you are more then welcome to join our crazy world here at panheads.
yay.. another aussie!!!! ;D ;D ;D :afro:

10-15-2005, 07:30 PM
I'm very happy. Even though I just got back from Sydney.. I'm really happy that Bec and I are kind of together now. Bec's the only girl I could see myself with in the future since my first girlfriend.. I'm just super happy! :) Even if it doesn't end up in a life long committment I'm sure we'll always be friends & God will teach us and through everything, we can just be there for each other.
Thanks Bec.. for being the best friend!! :)
All glory to God

10-15-2005, 07:51 PM
:) :) :)

10-16-2005, 04:47 PM
ya, ditto on the smiles...

soooo, wen's it my turn, lol?? just kidding, im in the happy singles club but theres always that stupid teenage girl thing in there that wants some1. *sigh* i suppose im just going to have to be a happy single for a while longer ;D


10-17-2005, 09:35 AM
Ahh Young Love....

10-18-2005, 04:24 AM
haha.. don't worry Sarah.. there's someone awesome out there for you :) Have you seen the movie "a walk to remember" ? How cool is it!! Anyway.. for me there's still the issue that Bec lives 1000 km away, but oh well, it's probably better like this at the moment, cause we're both busy. I dunno.

10-18-2005, 04:48 PM
(sidenote: i like the book 'a walk to remember' better than the movie. i like the characters better but that is besides the point here.)

10-21-2005, 09:49 PM
Yay! I just hired the movie. I'm so excited.. it's the coolest and I love the Switchfoot songs on it. I think it's called "only hope".. that's the one I really like!

10-22-2005, 04:29 PM
yup, that's the song. :) good song.

10-23-2005, 01:29 PM
ya, the whole cd that that song on is good. personally, i like that old school switchfoot stuff better than the current stuff.