10-23-2005, 03:47 PM
When I was young I knew about God, but I didnít have a relationship with him. My older sister read the bible to me every night and we prayed, but I had no real connection with the Lord. Going to church and praying was a routine I enjoyed, more than something I did out of love and wanting to get closer to God.
As I got older my life started getting more complex. Being more aware of the cool, prep, sporty, rock and other groups there are at school I wanted to fit in. So I had an eating disorder to stay thin. I noticed that the clothes that the cool kids wore were at certain stores and you had to be a smaller person to fit them. I also didnít have a really close relationship with my dad so I started to seek male attention from the boys at school. Right before 8th grade I had been so accustomed to pleasing guys that I would do almost anything to make them happy. On MTV and other television shows I noticed that guys liked lesbians. I tried a few things with a girl that was wondering if she was bisexual. After awhile I liked the things we did so I considered myself to be bisexual. In between all of that I smoked and drank with some of my class mates. Everyone thought that I was the happiest and funniest person in the world. They were all wrong, in the quiet when I was all alone I was extremely depressed. To make myself feel better I would cut myself and also try to get the guy that all the girls liked at school. All of those things helped, but it was only momentary.
The day before 8th grade I was almost at my lowest point. I started to remember the Bible stories that my sister use to read to me. I remembered the story about Jesus and how God loved us (me) so much that he gave his only son to die for our (my) sins. After thinking for awhile I said, ďGod if you donít show up in my life before I get into high school, I am going to go all out. I will have a girlfriend and a boyfriend and I am going to go to all the parties and just live it up. I know you can hear me! If you are real God which I think you are answer my prayer, because I need you.Ē
When I entered the 8th grade I lived my life how I normally did except I wanted to find a person that would have a positive influence in my life. That is when I met Brittni Kinney, I found out that she was a Christian and that she was a pastors daughter. We hung out at school and I started going to her church. When the summer was coming up they announced that there was going to be a church camping trip. I really wanted to go, something inside of me was yearning for more.
During the camping trip I gave my life to Jesus. When I got home I was back in my old environment. I started to get depressed again and I wanted to cut myself so bad. I remembered that I told God that I wouldnít do that anymore. So I took my pocket knife and through it at the wall and asked God to take away my pain. What was so cool is that he did.
I have been saved for about four years now and I have not cut myself, been sexually immoral, or made myself throw up. Life has been great, God has blessed me with people that want to help me with everything that I do. Jasmine (the pastorís wife) and Frances Kinney (Brittniís sister) have helped me a lot with learning how to play guitar and they let me on the worship team when I only knew three songs. Now I know mostly all the songs we do for worship and my musical talents grow everyday. I also help with kids church. Hopefully I can help a kid find God before they have to go through all of what I went through. I am very happy that God answered my prayer in the 8th grade, I would be lost if he hadnít.

10-23-2005, 04:48 PM
wow....thats an incredidble testimony! im so glad God pulled you out of all that! mines...similar..and i thank Him every day that He pulled me out of the mess...its so much more fulfilling and awesome living for Him than trying to fill that void with guys-drugs...all that-because they wil all let you down...but God will never"leave us nor forsake us" =)

10-23-2005, 05:19 PM
you know, i have heard many stories like yours with the general format of "i was messed up & i called on God & He fixed it." but you know what? it never gets old!! i was on the edge of my seat while reading your entire post b/c i just knew the ending...what a great ending, huh? thanks for sharing your story! im glad you found God, cause He found you first. i hope you continue on the path that you are on, & i promise, as you already know, it only gets better.


10-23-2005, 05:32 PM
hold up, hold up....(i know, i know, "when's she gonna stop already!?") i just looked & ur profile & realized something, ur the same age as me & then it occured to me:you were in 8th grade when this thing happened. you were the same age as i was when i said "God, ill do ur thing but if i do, show up & do something better w/ my life". i thought that was weird, we came back to God in the same yr. & another thing, one of the first things God did was get us into our instuments. u play the guitar for ur church now..i play the drums for mine (on fridays & sundays, too, no joke!).i started the drums right after i started comming back to church. i just thought that weird.

anyone else come back to God when they were that age? i guess its b/c the jr. high yrs are critical to the direction that your going to take & high school is when you truly decide. i know that it happens other ways, thats just the trend i supose.


10-25-2005, 04:49 PM
thats hecca kool, i am glad that God saved you too. what else are you planning on doing with your life? i am going to go to the school of supernatural ministry when i graduate form highschool. well man i am so excited about what God is doing.

10-26-2005, 04:05 PM
I stopped planning long ago when God"ruined" everything, but I know what you mean. I little while back, I got a prophetic word that said "God isn't going to give you details." So, He has done just that, no details. But, He did make clear a direction because I decided not to doubt that my childhood dream was something that I need to chase, but satan was laying on the doubt big time. So, basically, He confirmed just that. Carreer tests (and thost who don't understand my faith in God and how dreams can be of God) told me that I was smart and I should be an engineer, or something like that. My heart has told me to be a musician, missionary, or in some kind of ministry or something. My childhood dream was to play the drums in a band, and i have always loved the idea of missions. So, i guess I'm heading in that general direction because God has made it clear that He wants me to follow my dreams. I have no idea where I will go to college, or if I will end up in some school of ministry. I would love to go to a school of ministry. I could also go to college for something like "Bible theology" just for the fun of it. I don't really have to necissarily go to college for music, but i still want to do something with music. So...I really don't know, but that is the general direction I'm heading. I'm checking out nearly any college/SOM that I hear about.

One school of ministry that someone i know went ot that looks compltly awsome, is the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship SOM. They have three sections and i would like to go to all three. I actually heard about it when i was a freshmen and I have been waiting to go ever since. But, like I said, I have no idea where I'll end up. But if anyone has any cool SOMs or colleges to go to, I'm looking at everything.


10-27-2005, 01:10 PM
yeah that is usually the case i knew what God wanted me to do, but i kept on fighting it. he did't gove me any details about what i am going to do after the sschool of ministry, but i know that i am suppose to go b/c God kept on giving me dreams about it. its kind of scary not having everything planned out, b/c i am used to planning everything down the the second, but with God you dont know whats going to happen until it happens. i love it though it makes life exciting. is the school in toronto the one in canada, b/c i know about one in toronto canada its with patricia king, she is one of the head people. one of the lady's that graduated from there came to my church and we did some street minisrty and it was so awesome.
:afro: :azn: ;)

10-27-2005, 01:48 PM
its kind of scary not having everything planned out, b/c i am used to planning everything down the the second, but with God you dont know whats going to happen until it happens. i love it though it makes life exciting.

I couldn't agree with you more. And ya, it's the one in toronto. I looked at the one you are going to and it looks awsome. The only downside is that it's in California and they don't provide housing, that might be a problem. But hey, God's already got everything figured out anyways. ;D


10-28-2005, 08:26 PM
oh yeah, they don't provide housing, but i know a lot of people there and i have a nice house to stay in. there are also tunes of youth going down up there every year and a person could share an apartment with like 3 girls so the rent wouldnt be exspensive. there is another one that is pretty kool and its in kansas the place that is in charge of it is called IHOP its a 24 hr house of prayer and its really spiritual, i dont know about there housing, but i do know a few people that are going to attend the school. i am very happy about what God is going to do with our generation. woo!
:afro: ;) :azn: