11-17-2005, 09:27 AM
It's been a really long time since I've actually had any opportunities to get onto any of the message boards I'm a part of...but since starting college back in September, things have started to slow down slightly so I have some time...which is actually what I've been hoping for, because I have a bit of a situation on my hands.
I've been with the same guy for like, the last five years or so, or it will be five years this coming Christmas, and he's told me that he has every intentions of marrying me in a few years after I graduate college and have a half decent job, since he understands my need to find security before marriage. The issue now, is that the other day I went to see my doctor because I've been getting sick lately, and on top of finding out that I have pneumonia, he told me that it looks like I am also pregnant!!! :o I love kids and all, and I do want a baby of my own...but this early? I'm a little bit unsure as to what I should do...and today after class I will be telling my beau to mull it over with him.
The situation is that I am not entirely 100% sure that I want this child right now...and abortion is not exactly an option for me as I'm against it...but I'm not entirely sure I could handle going through putting it up for adoption, either...
Any help would be appreciated...prayers would be appreciated, as well :-\
11-17-2005, 11:52 AM
hey i will be praying for you. i know how hard it is to be in your shoes. i was only 18 when i got pregnant with my daughter. i had to drop out of college and everything. i had to quit my job b/c i got so sick and weak. god will lead you to do what he wants with all this. right now you may not think that you want to keep the child, you may think that you want to givee it up for adoption but in most cases when the baby comes out you wont want to give it up. a mother bonds with her child before it is even born and that is why its very hard for most women to give them up for adoption. at first even though i was married i thought of giving my daughter up for adoption b.c we were only 16 and 18 when i got pregnant but now i am so glad that i didnt. she is my world and i dont think that i would be doing as well as i am since mine and my husbands split if she wanst here with me
11-17-2005, 12:23 PM
I must apologize, but I feel that any advice I give would be an insult. I say that because I am 17 and have never even had a boyfreind. But I can promise to pray that God will reveal His answer in whatever way He will choose. You're on my heart.
11-17-2005, 12:38 PM
I know this is a confusing time for you. I am praying for you. I pray you will have peace.
I got married after only one quarter of college. Six months later, I became pregnant. My husband decided he didn't want the responsibility, and left.
I remember feeling like I couldn't be a good mother at that time. I wanted my baby to grow up in a Christian home with a mother and a father. But, I prayed about it, and I felt a peace.
I worked full time (40 hours) and took night classes (20 hours, which was an overload) so that I could finish my four year degree in three years. I worked hard and was one of two seniors chosen to student-teach at the top school. I don't know that I would have worked as hard or been as responsible if I had not had a real reason. Having a baby made me the person I am today.
God knew what I needed more than I did. It was hard, but I wouldn't change any of it! God always provided. I learned alot about how much God loved me during this time.
I had a name picked out, but God had me change it right before the baby was born. Gabriel. He has been my angel!
Gabriel is my prayer warrior! When he was little, my car often would not start. He would get out and lay his hands on it and pray, then it would crank! I know God has great things for him, and I feel so honored to be a part of his life.
As Shorty mentioned, you cannot even begin to imagine the emotions you are going to feel when this baby is born, emotions you did not even know existed! Children are the most amazing gift. I pray you will begin to feel amazed and honored to be chosen to carry the life inside of you.
I am praying for you.
11-18-2005, 07:23 AM
Mmmmm...I'm not sure I want to begin to imagine the emotions that are going to develop...not right now, as last night did not go quite as I'd hoped it would. I did go over to my beau's place to talk to him about this whole situation, but he wasn't there. So I called his mother (she adores me :)) and she told me he'd left to Grande Prairie and doesn't know when, or even if, he'll be back. She was telling me that his boss has been telling him that he's going to move him over to the office in Grande Prairie as there is more work for him there. She said he's supposed to be calling her tonight or something to let her know what's going on...
This bothers me because not only did he not say a word to me, but I have this nagging suspicion that if he ends up staying in GP, I'll be doing this on my own because I can't do long distance relationships very well, and I won't uproot myself yet again three months into my college career :(
11-18-2005, 07:26 AM
Wow, what a situation. :o
11-18-2005, 11:17 AM
lisa, what a wonderful example of praise in the midst of pain. you and shorty have wonderful testimonies of how God is in control and when we submit to Him - He guides us into all truth. we receive clarity in our life.
Samantha - i am sorry... i too have nothing to offer except prayers for you, your baby within you, your boyfriend, and everyone involved.
11-18-2005, 02:00 PM
It would really bother me that he didn't say anything about all of that. That seems strange to me. I would think after five years, you two would have established open communication.
11-18-2005, 04:34 PM
That's what I'd been hoping for...especially with something as important as this. I did just finish talking to him a few moments ago...I've been home from classes since about three thirty this afternoon because I was just so tired and had such a headache that I needed to just lay down. He did call me shortly after four, and explained to me that he tried getting a message to me at the college but because they have that privacy thing where they don't tell the person whether or not who they're looking for is actually there or not, I didn't get the message...and he got in to GP far too late, and didn't want to disturb me since I have been going to bed really early these days (9:30-10:00 p.m.)
I'm just glad that he called, though...I feel better knowing that he didn't just leave without trying at let me know what was going on. He told me the same things his mother had told me last night, and when I told him about the pregnancy, he got all quiet and asked if I was kidding or not and when I told him no, he got all excited and concerned and everything all at once...it was just insane!!! It was more or less like...dude, slow down!! I'm not quite at that level yet!! And it's the truth, I'm not quite at that level yet...I'm still in the stages of being scared and unsure and everything that I haven't had to deal with for a little while already :-X
11-19-2005, 11:45 AM
im sorry hun...i will pray for you! and your boyfriend..that he would be totally supportive and help you thru this!
11-22-2005, 05:53 AM
i will continue to pray for you for this matter. i really hope that things get easier for you. sometimes God puts us into the fire to make us stronger though, so hold in there and let God lead you down the path that he wants :)
11-22-2005, 07:06 AM
Well my boyfriend came home late Sunday afternoon, and then we really sat down and talked about what we are going to do. The first thing he told me is that his intentions of marrying me still have not changed, the only difference now is that there's a ring on my finger to remind me of his intentions now (:)). Secondly, we're keeping the child.
The unfortunate part of all of this is that between college and part-time job and him being gone most of the time (as he's a truck driver), I'm not only going to be continually stressed out with the workload, but physically alone to do this most of the time :-\
PS: Thanks much for the prayers!!! *hugs* Very much appreciated!!!
11-22-2005, 10:41 AM
im glad to hear that things are working out for the better for you!! you seem to be a pretty strong person so i think that you will be capable of being able to handle college a job and a child. it will be rought though not be able to spend alot of time with the baby and then when you do not having him there alot you will get stressed, and when you do just call upon God for help and he will come through :)
11-22-2005, 11:55 AM
I spent a bit of time with a few other truck drivers who works with my bf, but they work directly here in town whereas my bf drives way out to PanWest three hours up the highway and he'll be gone for sometimes 12 hours at a time. But anyways, these other two drivers came up to the college to have lunch with me and asked me how I was doing, and when I told them, they basically told me that if I need anything at all to let them know and they're more than happy to help me out in any ways possible.
So that's a comfort as far as not always having my boyfriend around to help me out when he's working...it's nice to have some form of support.
My bf's mother, however, is soooooooo excited, she just can't wait for the next seven and a half months to go by sooo much quicker than they already are!!! :o
11-22-2005, 12:57 PM
I am so happy that he and his mother are excited and everyone is being so supportive.
One night, a month after Gabriel was born, I was in my bedroom praying. I had no gas to drive to college the next day, and Gabriel needed to go to the doctor, which was in another town. I was almost out of diapers, and I had no money. Gabriel's father had told me he would pay for child care while I was in school (it was only $20 per week, and he wasn't paying anything else) but he hadn't, and I owed for three weeks. I hadn't told anyone else about the situation, I was just praying.
The phone rang. It was a lady from my church. She said she had met with the other ladies that night, and if it was okay with me, they wanted to take turns each week buying me diapers and paying for my childcare. They had also opened a charge account for me at a local gas station that the church was going to pay for. I know I shouldn't be so surprised when God answers prayer so quickly (Ask and it will be given to you, whoever asks, receives...)but I still get all sentimental when I think about it.
God will provide. Remember to take every concern to Him (saves alot of time, saves you from worry!). We will continue to keep you in our prayers. I pray your bf will be able to spend less time away.
11-24-2005, 09:18 AM
Ohhh yesterday was terrible. My bf had a day off, and I ended up calling him at 9 in the morning to come and get me from school because I had a massive migraine that just wouldn't go away. I slept for about 20 hours, and was up for about 2 hours. For the two hours that I was awake, I went to see my doctor to see what he can do to possibly help me out since the migraine just wasn't going away. (I got an IV for it...put me out from 1 pm straight through until about 7:30 this morning :-\)
Well he just wanted to check up on me and see how things are with the baby and there are two heartbeats in there :o
11-28-2005, 03:58 AM
awww twins :) thats amazing! hope your feeling better...
11-28-2005, 04:24 AM
Wow! That is amazing! I always wanted twins! The best I could do was 17 months apart! :D
It's great that your bf had that day off so he could help you.
I will continue to pray for you.
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