Heri Altariel
01-18-2006, 01:20 PM
-cough- Not good at making titles -cough-

Any who, to the point.
I've been back sliding with my relationship with God. A lot.
I've gotten to the point where you couldn't call me a Christian. I hate it.

It all started in April of last year.
I met this certain girl, and I stuck to talking with her.
I knew I shouldn't have, but I couldn't stop.
She ended up changing me for the worse.
Lately, I haven't been writing her as much, well, actually; we hardly contact eachother at all.
There's a different girl now, I won't say her name, but two people on the boards have already met her already, and she's certainly not a good influence on me, not as bad as the other girl, but still.

Last night, I had a break down... and yeah, I've decided that I would try and stay away from aim, away from her and where she could reach me.
I'm also going to try and stay away from the depressing music... including my oh so favourite band: My Chemical Romance, I might listen to them everyonce in a while though.
I want to go back to having a relationship with God and being a better person.

Anyway, I realized, that around April, I started getting depressed. So I guess it was that first girl who did it to me.

So yeah, I need prayer.
Please, and thank you.

theelectric3
01-18-2006, 01:29 PM
shea - it is out of a genuine heart to ask for prayer. and it would be an honor to lift you up to our Father.

no matter what you have done, Jesus still loves you. He too is longing for you to be in His arms. He is only as far as we push Him away.

never hesitate to send me an email, pm or im if want to.

disciple
01-18-2006, 01:42 PM
I'll be praying for ya. :)

Heri Altariel
01-18-2006, 01:42 PM
Thanks, I needed to "read" that.
I've done so many things that are unhealthy, and it just seemed as if nobody could forgive me. =\

I especially needed you to say the part where I could talk to you more about it, everyone I have been able to talk to has grown distant from me... it hurts a lot, but I don't want to sound needy. xD

And thanks Disciple.

Bassplayer
01-18-2006, 01:59 PM
hey, i'll pray for ya too.

disciple
01-18-2006, 02:00 PM
And I'm always here, ready and willing to talk. :) I don't think I go a day without logging online. ::]

Heri Altariel
01-18-2006, 02:02 PM
I know this. :)
But ever had those kind of people that you just click with? And you feel as if you could tell them anything?
I have, now they're all gone... =\
Not gone actually, just... I feel that I can't tell them anything anymore.

weebird20
01-18-2006, 02:32 PM
will be praying Shea...most definately :)

lamb_servant72
01-18-2006, 02:38 PM
Shea, I have been praying for you since I met you in May.

I feel so happy right now...just that fact that you are desiring God...and that you are willing to put down certain things that you feel like have hindered your relationship with Him.

I wish I could put my arms around you right now and laugh and cry!

Everytime I would pray for you, I felt like it had something to do with some of the music you were listening to. I don't know anything about MCR, so please don't take this as anything other than what I felt when I prayed.

I pray God would send you a special friend.

Heri Altariel
01-18-2006, 02:45 PM
That got me to cry a bit.
Thank you for praying for me this whole time, it feels good to know someone cares about me that much. >.<

FromTheInside
01-18-2006, 04:23 PM
I'll be deffinatly praying for you Shea. :)

as~i~lay~dying
01-18-2006, 04:31 PM
hey girl...wow that sounds a lot like my recent story~ I was doing...bad, and one day I totally broke down...well I know how hard it is~I will pray for you!!! =)

skynes
01-19-2006, 01:09 AM
Your story makes me think of the song Ember by Extol
------------------------
There is a fire to light a sleeping heart
A wish to see the spirit take control

Crush the chains that hold you down
And let yourself be filled with fire
Wake up and realize the dream you've lived
Was set up by the liar

A broken heart, a kneeling soul
The spirit will set you on fire
To give you strength to reach the ones
Who search the truth with a deep desire

Crucifixion of the ego
Death and burial of the old

Crush the chains that hold you down
And let yourself be filled with fire
A broken heart, a kneeling soul
The spirit will set you on fire

There is no spiritual authority
Outside obedience to God

A broken heart is needed to reach this state
Divine encounter with the living God
----------------------------

We've all had our broken-break-down states. For those who've past it can tell you that this is the start of a new phase in your Christian life. God is oging to move in your life in a whole new way.

I will pray for you too :)

Aragornsgirl217
01-19-2006, 04:13 AM
I'll be praying as well Shea :). I've gone through times like you're going through right now.

drumchick101
01-19-2006, 05:03 PM
It's so awsome that you want this. So many times people want God but won't move or change. You are already on the right track and I encourage you to keep going! Also, like was said above, don't feel like a failure.

One of my favorite stories in the bible is in John chapter 8, this is the story of a woman caught in audutery and the leaders were going to stone her. If you don't know it, then you can read it to know what I'm talking about if you'd like. The point is that it's one of my favories (if not that, then my ultimate favorite) because I feel so many times that I am that woman caught up in adultery. Jesus took me and gave me that smile that tells me "It's ok, I'm not going to comdemn you." He helps me off of the ground and wipes the tears from my face as my enemies disperse. He tells me to sin no more and and to this day, I've sinned so many times, but He is the same: always a smile. I would like you to notice Jesus in that story, He has done the same for you, smart alic comment to your accusers and all. I pray that you would feel His grace, and know it more than you are reading this right now. He longs to show you His grace, and He longs to let you feel it.

He's crazy about you, you know. I promise, that since you are asking, you will recieve. I used to feel so much like you, I used to ask God, "Make me want to want to be on fire for you. And then, once I want to, make me on fire for you." After I got on my feet a bit, I heard the song "obsession" by skillet for the first time, it inspired but convicted me horribly because I didn't apply completly to that song. I loved God, but He wasn't my obsession. You'll never guess what happened....

I say all of that to encourage you and to let you know that if He will do it for me, then He will do it for you and I pray the He does it 100fold!!

I have just one peice of advice for you as you are starting your journey: You don't have to make this happen. Yes, you have to do your part (seeking after God ect..) but God will take care of all of the dirty work. He will heal your inner and outter wounds, even the ones that you have buried your whole life. He will set into His will, which is no non-eventful thing...you are now engaging on the ride of your life. Satan will try to stop it, but you can overcome him. This ride ends when this life ends(or perhaps it will continue into heaven, who knows?). We must fall before we fly, welcome to the fight.

><sarah><

Isildur9473
01-19-2006, 05:13 PM
I'll pray for you.

Heri Altariel
01-19-2006, 07:09 PM
That's all I needed to know...

skilletgirl
01-19-2006, 08:03 PM
Thanks, I needed to "read" that.
I've done so many things that are unhealthy, and it just seemed as if nobody could forgive me. =\

I especially needed you to say the part where I could talk to you more about it, everyone I have been able to talk to has grown distant from me... it hurts a lot, but I don't want to sound needy. xD

And thanks Disciple.



your my favorite person to talk to on this board.. and i miss talking to u like we did back when. I hope all goes well for oyu.. and keep making desisons to benifit your christian walk.. God Knows I have been slipping in some areas myself..

theelectric3
01-19-2006, 09:40 PM
Thanks, I needed to "read" that.
I've done so many things that are unhealthy, and it just seemed as if nobody could forgive me. =\

I especially needed you to say the part where I could talk to you more about it, everyone I have been able to talk to has grown distant from me... it hurts a lot, but I don't want to sound needy. xD

And thanks Disciple.

how could i call myself a christian and not be willing to pray for you and be willing to be an ear if you need one... ?it just wouldn't make sense.

there is always Someone who can forgive you. never lose hope.

*hugs* (that's the best hug i can give through the web.)

pizza brain
01-22-2006, 08:40 PM
I'll be praying for you Jesus will alwas love you.

panhead_91
01-27-2006, 02:45 PM
Wow man I am deffently praying 4 ya trust God! He be there 4 ya everytime.......;)

Aragornsgirl217
01-28-2006, 07:26 AM
I'm praying too Shea:)

kittygirl
02-01-2006, 09:58 AM
This is just between you and me, but I sent you a private message. That would be my reply.

I am totally praying,it's very important. Even if you think it's not that big of a deal