skynes
02-08-2006, 03:33 AM
I have a theory I've been toying with that I want to share with you.



I hear a lot all over the place, this idea of "How far is too far?", usually regarding guys and girls physical contact.

Well I'm beginning to think that this line of thinking is sin.

Now here me out.

What are they trying to get?

They want as much of the pleasure they can without crossing the line into sin.

So they want to enjoy asm uch of lustful pleasures as they can without actually lusting. Is listening to that desire not lust in itself?

Is it not unbelief that God has the best in mind? Instead of following Biblical commands of running AWAY from evil, they tip-toe toward it to peek over the edge without falling over.

What do you think?

Reeper
02-08-2006, 05:04 AM
I totally agree Skynes.

When talking to the young people in my youth group about things like this I ask them one simple question. Well, first I tell them they shouldn't be dating in the first place, but then I ask them if they and their boyfriend/girlfriend are married. Naturally the answer is no, and since the answer is no they then have no right to put their hands on each other. Once people are married they become one flesh and therefore may show affection through physical means, however before that I think there is no justification for such displays of affection. Now of course the occasional hug is o.k. and so forth but things like making out, or as you irish probably call it snogging, and cuddling are strictly forbidden. Simply put if it is not yours don't touch even if the other person says its o.k.

Peace

OTD
02-08-2006, 05:41 AM
just out of curiosity, how old are the kids in your youth group? I mean are we talking junior high or high school aged kids?

skynes
02-08-2006, 06:11 AM
Making out, snogging, eating, tongue wrestling. Too many names, but I know what you're getting at ;)

NightCrawler
02-08-2006, 06:44 AM
snogging
Never heard that one :o

amodman
02-08-2006, 07:49 AM
Never heard that one :o

Read the new Harry Potter? Lol. Damn Brits...;)

Anyways, I think it can be both. When you're trying to decide just on how far you can go in the line of thought you described it is what I'd call sinful, however, setting boundaries to make sure you keep yourself in line is little different of a matter. You shouldn't be trying to "get as much as you can," without "sinning," but w/o enunciating and setting down what things you are not going to do, you may be convinced into doing them w/o thinking about it.

skynes
02-08-2006, 07:59 AM
Of course setting limits is a good idea.
I was referring to those who say "How far can you go?" with very intention of pushing that boundary as far as possible.

Damn brits!? We started the English language you Yank!

Reeper
02-08-2006, 08:07 AM
Damn brits!? We started the English language you Yank!

Ha! Well, actually if you want to get technical the Germans did but that's besides the point.

To answer the question asked about the youth group, we are talking about both junior and senior high school aged kids. Either way the point still remains the same.

Peace

terrasin
02-08-2006, 11:46 AM
One thing I always told my youth was that if you have to stop and question something you are doing, than chances are, you shouldn't be doing it. Of course, that never seems enough to stop most people. Sadly our culture revolves around experimenting and that things like making out and such are ok. I think it has to start with the parents from an early age talking to their kids about these issues so that they have no desire to mess around until they get married. Another thing parents need to be teaching to their kids is what love really means, and not to give your heart away so easily like kids do today.

CJ

frymeskillet
02-08-2006, 12:41 PM
I totally agree on this, Skynes. My reply is summed up mostly in CJ's post. My belief is that if you even have a consideration or are wondering if the situation/idea is wrong, Then it probably is...One example of a couple is explained in my thread entitled "Trouble With Lust: A Prayer Request" (in the Garden of Gethsemane) about my two friends, It gives a perfect example of what could happen and what most definitely will happen if this thin line becomes near in a relationship.

My thread:

http://www.panheads.org/boards/showthread.php?t=4431

-Savannah-

disciple
02-08-2006, 03:09 PM
Read the new Harry Potter? Lol. Damn Brits...;)
Grr!! I was reading down the posts, and I saw how each and every word was stolen from my mouth in my sleep, and then GAH! YOU had to steal my last words!!! YAR! :P

I was gonna say, "I'm glad I'm not the only one who recognizes 'snogging' as a term for it." I use it myself, 'cause it's less of a mouthful than most other terms. :P


I agree. Period. It was something Satan tried to throw at me in my last relationship, but over time that was not the problem for me any more. I actually see things a lot clearer a lot quicker now in my old age. ;)

thalia
02-08-2006, 03:34 PM
Another thing parents need to be teaching to their kids is what love really means, and not to give your heart away so easily like kids do today.

CJ

AMEN! I'm a real skeptic when it comes to all this mushy-gushy romantic love out there, and it saddens me to see kids who think that every little crush is true love. They throw themselves away because they are looking for something that will fill the emptiness they feel inside and so they latch onto an idea of love or a relationship or both, when God has SO much more in store for them...

disciple
02-08-2006, 03:39 PM
AMEN! I'm a real skeptic when it comes to all this mushy-gushy romantic love out there, and it saddens me to see kids who think that every little crush is true love. They throw themselves away because they are looking for something that will fill the emptiness they feel inside and so they latch onto an idea of love or a relationship or both, when God has SO much more in store for them...
I don't think "amen" needs to be said twice in this post... ;)


Everyone around here has no idea what love is. I don't even think the word is a reality to most teens around here, some claim they know what love is, but most just up and admit that what they want is sexual activity and nothing less.

as~i~lay~dying
02-08-2006, 04:07 PM
I absolutely believe so too....in our bible at school we listend to this hecka awesome video about sexual purity. She said that by doing these little things(kissing, touching ect.) you are sexually arousing the other person, awakaning desires in that person before it's time. Also, if you are trying to get as much as you can without "sinning" then you aren't being absolutely as pure as you can be and your thoughts are obviosuly not pure, so it IS sin and disobeying the bible.

skynes
02-09-2006, 12:36 AM
Glad to see my thoughts are shared.

Another thing parents need to be teaching to their kids is what love really means, and not to give your heart away so easily like kids do today.

*trashes place*

GRAGHH! I HATE people's STUPID Definitions of love!

"Oh why can't have sex with him if I love him"

BAH! It's a stupid stupid argument and it drives me nuts!

Anyone got a counter for it? The best I've got is:

Love is about seeking the benefit of another ahead of yourself. God is love. So what He says is out of love and for our own benefit. So essentially His commands are love itself.

To use 'love' as a reason to disobey God is impossible. To disobey God is to sin, it is not love, sin cannot be done out of love.
Sin and Love are enemies. To dwell in one is to deny the other.

So to have sex with someone you 'love' is not an act of 'love' it is an act of lust.

frymeskillet
02-09-2006, 10:36 AM
....RIGHT ON! *cheers*

terrasin
02-09-2006, 10:40 AM
"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."
-C.S. Lewis

petrameansrock
02-09-2006, 02:35 PM
Most teenagers, and even many adults, dont understand that loving someone is not the same as MAKING love to someone. Making love is just a euphemism for having sex.

Also, if you TRULY love someone, you would be honest to them 100%, and you would never take advantage of them or use them. Be honest, how many of us have ever had a girl/boy friend and NEVER lied, even a small one, to them. When you love someone, you dont think impure thoughts about other men/women because the person you love completes you, and you dont NEED to lust over other men/women.

Gosh, Im 14 and Ive already figured that out.

terrasin
02-09-2006, 04:57 PM
I'm talking more about the "I have a boyfriend and I love him so much" and then a week later, "I have a new boyfriend and I love him so much" idea that is what people seem to think love is anymore.

CJ

petrameansrock
02-09-2006, 05:55 PM
Ah right. I know SO many people like that. Its always, "well I didnt REALLY love the last one, but this one is different, ive NEVER felt this way before about ANYONE!!" Then the next week its the same thing again. Sometimes if they REALLY "love" the person theyll date them for a whole month!! Its actually kinda funny to hear them talk about all the people theyve "loved."

unshakeable15
02-09-2006, 08:18 PM
"Oh why can't have sex with him if I love him"

BAH! It's a stupid stupid argument and it drives me nuts!

Anyone got a counter for it?
how about "Love is patient. so why not wait?"