asparagus
02-08-2006, 07:42 PM
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/02/08/teen.abuse/index.html

petrameansrock
02-08-2006, 07:47 PM
...and 93% of statistics are made up on the spot.

All jokes aside... that is really scary. I mean, why would a guy do that to his girlfriend? Youd have to have a few cogs loose in your brainpan for that to happen. Makes me think about all the girls I know who may be going through the same thing...

skynes
02-09-2006, 12:37 AM
Let me add something else to the mix.

What is driving the boyfriend to such a position that he feels he needs to abuse his girlfriend?

OTD
02-09-2006, 04:06 AM
What force thrives on misery, humiliation, pain, degradation, predation, abuse, disrespect, destruction? That's the one mate, that's what's driving it. That voice overrides the one that says God created males with considerable power, and there are times and places where it's use is absolutely FORBIDDEN.

skynes
02-09-2006, 04:43 AM
What force thrives on misery, humiliation, pain, degradation, predation, abuse, disrespect, destruction? That's the one mate, that's what's driving it. That voice overrides the one that says God created males with considerable power, and there are times and places where it's use is absolutely FORBIDDEN.

There's more to it than sheer cruelty. I wonder what sickening events occured to them to make them the way they are.

petrameansrock
02-09-2006, 02:39 PM
Someone should do a study.

What amazes me is that some women choose to STAY with their abusive partners, even when the man has made it blatantly obvious that he cares more for his own wants and desires then for her well-being. Before you take that the wrong way, Im not at all blaming the women for their suffering, it just surprises me that they would choose to stay.

As for the men, I think they control their spouses for the same reason some men rape women, they like the feeling of control. Just the thought that you can do whatever you want to a women gives them some sort of high. Its sickening, yes, but true.

as~i~lay~dying
02-09-2006, 09:45 PM
There's more to it than sheer cruelty. I wonder what sickening events occured to them to make them the way they are.
I know for real! It's so hecka crazy sad!! I feel bad for both the abusure and the abused, the've both been hurt. It amazes me too how many women don't leave! I guess the guys are just so manipulative! What a sad thing..... :-\

skynes
02-10-2006, 01:07 AM
It's more than simple manipulation and fear. It goes as far back as childhood.

e.g.

Girl has a lousy dad, always telling her shes ugly and not worth anything.
She grows up believing it.
She gets abusive bf.
Bf beats her etc. She thinks that since she's worthless, she must deserve it.
She has no reason to believe she can have better, since her entire life she's been told that shell never amount to anything.


Now look on the guys side:
His mother was abusive and mean, his father was a timid man.
He therefore was raised with the attitude that he needs to be tough and mean, or women will walk all over you badly.
So he gets a gf.
He becomes cruel and mean and keeps her low.
Not out of a desire to control, but a desire to not repeat the abuse he suffered as a child. To not have this girl kick him around.


You follow?
It doesn't excuse either sides actions, but blatantly whacking either side down only convinces them further that they're right.

petrameansrock
02-10-2006, 04:18 PM
That was a very helpful and insightful explanation Skynes, thank you. I guess thats the most reasonable explanation though. Still, its amazing, the statistics.

PinkGoo
02-10-2006, 04:44 PM
It's more than simple manipulation and fear. It goes as far back as childhood.

e.g.

Girl has a lousy dad, always telling her shes ugly and not worth anything.
She grows up believing it.
She gets abusive bf.
Bf beats her etc. She thinks that since she's worthless, she must deserve it.
She has no reason to believe she can have better, since her entire life she's been told that shell never amount to anything.


Now look on the guys side:
His mother was abusive and mean, his father was a timid man.
He therefore was raised with the attitude that he needs to be tough and mean, or women will walk all over you badly.
So he gets a gf.
He becomes cruel and mean and keeps her low.
Not out of a desire to control, but a desire to not repeat the abuse he suffered as a child. To not have this girl kick him around.


You follow?
It doesn't excuse either sides actions, but blatantly whacking either side down only convinces them further that they're right.

Typical Skynes wisdom. ::] If only we all could have that much insight...

as~i~lay~dying
02-11-2006, 01:53 PM
It's more than simple manipulation and fear. It goes as far back as childhood.

e.g.

Girl has a lousy dad, always telling her shes ugly and not worth anything.
She grows up believing it.
She gets abusive bf.
Bf beats her etc. She thinks that since she's worthless, she must deserve it.
She has no reason to believe she can have better, since her entire life she's been told that shell never amount to anything.


Now look on the guys side:
His mother was abusive and mean, his father was a timid man.
He therefore was raised with the attitude that he needs to be tough and mean, or women will walk all over you badly.
So he gets a gf.
He becomes cruel and mean and keeps her low.
Not out of a desire to control, but a desire to not repeat the abuse he suffered as a child. To not have this girl kick him around.


You follow?
It doesn't excuse either sides actions, but blatantly whacking either side down only convinces them further that they're right.

That makes sense.....

unshakeable15
02-11-2006, 02:17 PM
a bit simplistic, Scott, and i'm sure it's not an explanation for every case, but it works. :) way to provoke a bit of empathy and understanding for both sides. :)

skynes
02-13-2006, 12:52 AM
I know it's a bit simple, but people are too complicated for a detailed answer. I was just getting the point across.

I know girls who have abusive controlling bfs and its really hard to have any kind of empathy for them. I just want to take the nearest solid object and induce an intimate relationship with their face.

But the empathy is needed. If what's messing with them isn't dealt with, they'll simply go from girl to girl repeating the incident.