04-03-2006, 08:13 AM
Well... I really need some advice about this and I didn't know where else I could turn without breaking my promise. So... here goes.
One of the girls in my youth group recently confided in me that she had been molested about a year ago. The guy that did it lives very close to her and stays with her family on weekends. He makes crude remarks to her and grabs her butt sometimes.
This girl's family life is completely messed up. She's been booted around from her parent's home, to her aunts' and uncles' homes, and even foster care for pretty much her whole life. She's been in trouble with the law because before she got saved and started coming to our youth group, she was constantly getting into fights at school. Black eyes and broken bones type of fights. Her parents basically couldn't care less about her. They think she's a worthless piece of crap and they treat her like one. They make her do most of the chores around the house and let her brothers scream and cuss at her all they want. Her brothers have actually beat her up, sometimes kicking her in the back so hard she thought they'd broken it, sometimes grabbing her jaw and twisting her neck around so hard that it would pop.
To top things off, there are girls at her school now who are on some psychotic vendetta against her. They've made up accusations about her beating them up and are constantly trying to pick fights with her. None of the authority at the school ever doubted these girls because of this girl's past. The police where actually called in because of one accusation, and they said that if this girl ever gets in a fight with them again she'll be arrested for it.
She has female cousins her age living very close to her. It's very possible that the guy who molested her will molest them too if he hasn't already. So my question is, what can she do? Since no one witnessed the molestation, and her own family probably won't believe her, what good would it do to report it to the police? I believe she really was molested, but honestly I don't think there's enough evidence to really make an accusation like that stand in court. I know that there are several people in my youth group including myself and our youth leaders who would stand behind her, but how much would that help? Pretty much any credibility this girl had has been blown by her past.
I'd appreciate any and all advice/prayer, especially if you've had any experience with criminal justice beyond watching Law & Order.

04-03-2006, 11:02 AM
Wow...pidget that is a very serious not really sure about your laws there...but i really do think that this should be reported to i can do right now is pray for this girl and her family.

04-03-2006, 03:58 PM
I'd see if she could file an order to make the scumbag stay away from her.

04-03-2006, 11:02 PM
tim has a good point. just the fact that she has been rough handled... perhaps that would be enough to prove in court for a restraining order to be placed to keep that boy away from her.

how old is your friend?

as far as your youth group leaders, definently keep her in prayer. intercede for the situation that God will bring all the dark acts to light so justice can be done. i'd also look into this ministry ( and see if they could help in providing a safe place for your friend. to get out of that enviornment and grow in God's unfailing love for her. they bring abused animals and kids together (including teens) and through intheraction with the animal, they learn unconditional love - catching a glimpse of God's love for them. (

04-04-2006, 07:07 AM
I think Tracis advice was best...I will be praying!

04-05-2006, 06:30 PM
but if the guy is a family friend and she puts the restraining order on him her family might treat her worse....i dont know, im not an expert but if they treat her like that for no reason then what would they do if she got a restraining order...just be careful and im praying for everyone.

04-06-2006, 10:51 AM
I work with kids in these situations and at thispoint I would call social services on her parents. There was a line and it was crossed. If your wondering the +'s and -'s pm me.

04-28-2006, 05:32 AM
Wow...Thats rough, I will be praying for her and for the strength of your youth group...In my opinion, going to the authorites would be for the best. Sure there are risks involved, but there are risks involved in everything. I agree, a restraining order would be a good thing to do for your friend.

04-29-2006, 07:43 AM
Man, I thought that I had it bad. Well, have you heard of anything called P.U.S.H.? It's Pray Untill Something Happens. Tell your friend about that. I would also tr the police. If you're on God's side, the police will be on your side. I'm prayin for ya!