petrameansrock
04-14-2006, 07:00 AM
my best friend and I were in a small fight in March and we werent talking, so I used AIM and created this screename and talked to her pretending to be someone else and I tried to help her reconcile her problems with the real me. It worked. I trusted my other best friend with this information, and recently she randomly told my other friend about it. And now me and neither of my best friends are talking, and its all my fault. And now my best friend, the nicest girl I've ever known, the sweet, innocent, never-let-a-dirty-word-escape-her-lips type is saying things like "you're an a**hole" and "f*ck you". I totally deserve that I admit. But what is the best way to go around trying to fix this? I admit that I don't deserve to be friends with her again, but I want to at least have a chance to explain the TRUTH (no excuses). Whats the best way to do this? How long of a cooldown time should I give her? Please share any advice that would help.


Im also feeling suicidal and I know that cant be good either. Ive tried praying ALOT and it hasnt helped yet. Please help me!

TheFireBreathes
04-14-2006, 09:24 AM
I dont know. if youve already tried to say your sorry before, dont tell her again. She knows your sorry and I think it would be best to wait a while maybe a few weeks so you dont seem desperate. And then ask her if she will give you a secnd chance. Hope that helps.

petrameansrock
04-14-2006, 09:29 AM
It does help thanks. I havent tried to apologize yet. I wanted to wait at least a couple days before trying to give her at least a little "cool off" time. I know its my fault, but its really hard to lose your 2 best friends within 5 minutes. Ive never ever been suicidal but im considering it now. I dont see how things could get any better and I dont think they can possibly get worse. Im stuck between two rocks.

theelectric3
04-14-2006, 01:08 PM
things could be worse, trust me. killing yourself accomplishes nothing. it won't make anything better. life is a gift from God.

how should you fix the problem?

confess your sin to God and repent. repent means:

a)To feel remorse, contrition, or self-reproach for what one has done or failed to do; be contrite.
b)To feel such regret for past conduct as to change one's mind regarding it: repented of intemperate behavior.
c)To make a change for the better as a result of remorse or contrition for one's sins.

so not only do you confess your sins to God, ask for His forgiveness and lay all your cares at His feet. lay the burden of this friendship being broken and ask for His mercy to restore it. (nothing is impossible with Him.)

then go to your friend and be completely honest. admit you did it, tell her why and apologize.

and if she cusses you out and refuses to accept your apology? that is between her and the Lord. you cannot control her reaction but you can be an understanding friend from afar - understanding that she feels like her trust in the friendship has been violated. can it be restored? yes. through time, patience and prayer to the Lord.

give her time... even if it's forever. don't feel like you need to take it on yourself alone to fix the problem and be friends. it'll come off as controlling and will push her away. justifying (in her mind) why she cannot trust you and cannot be your friend anymore.

and everytime you get anxoius, worried or upset at the whole thing... go before the Lord and offer those feelings to Him. surrender to Him in this area. pray for your friend, that she will allow her heart to heal and forgive and that this will not effect other relationships in her life.

i know it's not the easy solution and probably not what you wanted to hear. but i don't believe there is a pill you can take, a routine you can do, or even death itself to fix the problem overnight.

can God fix it instantaneously? sure. from personal experience, i find that God desires for us to seek Him in these times. if He were to fix it right away, what would we learn? how would our character change for the better? would we desire to seek God more? or would we have faith in prayer in place of having faith in God?

the Lord has promised to never abandon us. i know you feel alone in all of this, but you're not. spend time with our Father. Rest in Him. Hear what He is saying. Develope your relationship with Him (accept His invitation for the relationship to personal and not a religious experience). He sticks closer than a friend or relative.

Jehovah is faithful.

Isildur9473
04-14-2006, 03:36 PM
It may not be what you want to hear, but you can always make new friends.

disciple
04-14-2006, 03:52 PM
It may not be what you want to hear, but you can always make new friends.
Sound advice that I wish I had taken many times before.

petrameansrock
04-14-2006, 04:41 PM
I know I can make new friends...but I've learned that people destined to be friends tend to find each other in their own time rather than just spontaneously happen.

Isildur9473
04-17-2006, 02:40 PM
I know I can make new friends...but I've learned that people destined to be friends tend to find each other in their own time rather than just spontaneously happen.

Well, then I would suggest being honest with the remaining ones you have, and not do what you did with those 2.