So we had this thread over on the AY MB and it was pretty helpful, so I made a new thread over here. So basically, if you want advise on guys here's the thread for you!

Oops, maybe this board is for girls but here's an obvious one...try asking a guy, or should I say one who isn't full of themselves (hard to find but hey we do exist)

hahahaha yes, very true supernova, but seriously, girls, if doesnt hurt and since most of us are friends here, it can serve as an open QA post and whatnot.... :D

BOYS!! AHH! :o STAY AWAY.. FAR AWAY! believe me.... bad experiences... i figure I will not even bother till God basically DROPS on in my lap... lol ::)

Oops, maybe this board is for girls but here's an obvious one...try asking a guy, or should I say one who isn't full of themselves (hard to find but hey we do exist)

I always hoped there was some ;)

do guys EVER look at a girl they think is attractive and see her as more than "attractive" , i mean do they ever look at a girl in a nonlustful way? or is that the only thing they see?

do guys EVER look at a girl they think is attractive and see her as more than "attractive" , i mean do they ever look at a girl in a nonlustful way? or is that the only thing they see?


well of course that's not all that guys see. granted, a lot of guys are driven by lust more than others, but there are also a lot of guys that are not. sounds like from your question that you have had bad experiences with guys in the past? :-

to echo will, not all guys are like that. sure, many are driven by lust. but not all of us.

for example, there are days when i'll not be watching were i let my eyes wander. on those days, it's not good. :-X but, when i'm not letting myself fall into those temptations, i won't let anything draw my eyes of God. :)

& there are some girls i just won't let myself look at lustfully. many of my close friends are girls & i looked at them that way, it would ruin my view of them as friends. i would not be able to see them the same way. so i refuse to let myself be drawn into that.

I’m attracted to the Lord, seriously! To me the prettiest girls are those who Love Him! The presence of the Lord is like a sweet aroma, you’re going along and then get sent of it and it’s like :o OOOOOH!! (Not in a lustful way but more…umm… respectful adoration cause your looking at a daughter of the Lord.) WOW! HE's all over her!!
I went to a Youth camp that had about 80 girls that year. While all the other guys were gawking at the “Hot blonds”, the prettiest to me was Lindsay (a short brunette), the only girl who went to the optional 7 AM prayer each morning. I’ve seen girls at my fellowship that are “nice” go to almost glowing during worship, when they let the Christ in them shine forth. When you see that, the world's "beauty" ain't got nothing and looks like trash.

I’m not trying to brag, my eyes do wander sometimes and only see the exterior. But I just want to let you know what goes on in my mind and I believe in a lot of other men’s who are serious about the Lord. You don’t have to dress a certain way or anything like that. All you have to do is abide in the Lord and let His beauty shine forth from you.

“many of my close friends are girls & i looked at them that way, it would ruin my view of them as friends.”

Ditto, I try to look at them as my literal sister, I think that helps.

lol.... uhh... my name is Lindsay... heh heh... but yea, I do agree with you guys. I am a girl, but almost all my friends are guys. I believe that guys look at much more than just a body, or attractiveness.... i would know.. i am not physically attractive to most! lol. but yea, all of them have told me before that they want a sweet girl, and that yea, they think that attractiveness is AWESOME.. but it isn't the MOST important thing. but there ARE guys who are only interested in sizes of this, and look of that... i know... it seems hard, but God has created one other person for you... your second half in a sense.... don't be concerned with the others girls!! lol

Lindsay

I have (for some unusual reason) found that I have been most attracted to girls that have a good walk with God. And I have also found that I am not really attracted to girls who's walk isn't as really good (and are usually the ones who everyone else says is attractive). But what makes this even weirder, is I don't know them well, but I am attacted to them. later, I'll find out that they have a good walk with God (but I am not saying that I am attracted to all good christian females). And the opposite is also true, when I first meet or see a girl who's walk isn't that good (usually indicated by actions that are not "Christian"), I have been much less atracted to them (before I know there actions).

do guys EVER look at a girl they think is attractive and see her as more than "attractive" , i mean do they ever look at a girl in a nonlustful way? or is that the only thing they see?


well of course that's not all that guys see. granted, a lot of guys are driven by lust more than others, but there are also a lot of guys that are not. sounds like from your question that you have had bad experiences with guys in the past? :-


uhh yeah, i am actually having this problem right now because I almost got involved with an unsaved guy but thankfully by God's grace it didn't go very far. This guy still likes me but God has been revealing who this guy really is and what his motives toward me really are. And I am sad to say his motives are not pure and it kinda hurts. I also had a guy last year use me whenever the girl he actually liked wasn't around and he was a Christian. When I wrote that post I kinda just needed to see that there are some guys out there who see girls as something more than something for them to use, but actually see a value in us for what we really are, which is God's daughters. So thanks for posting guys! And keep up the good work it's awesome that you try to see girls as more than what the world portrays us.

I think how a girl dresses often reflects her lifestyle. If she often goes around half-naked, I try to stay far away, because it's very likely that she is Trouble with a capitol "T". I'm interested more in how she lives rather than how she looks, because who she really is is what's more important. Granted, I don't mind if a girl does make herself look pretty (isn't it natural for her to do so?), but it definetly isn't what I am most interested in. Beauty is deeper than just physical appearance.

my friends tell me that i have a chance with a boy that I like, but I told one of my friends that I liked him. I go to see her a couple of weeks ago and she said that she was going out with him. I got so mad at her.But now they broke up

For those of you who know, I am a little grrrr at guys at the moment. I have to share this story cuz it made me feel all special inside. ;D
On Friday I was walking to the bus and this guy came into my view out of the corner of my eye. All of a sudden, I heard "Wassup girl?" Now, I was what one would call "gothed out". I slowly turned my head and glared because it is those kind of things that really make me mad at them. He then backed of saying "No" as if he was joking and waving his hands. It was really funny for me. I've never done that to anyone. ;D So anyway, that's my guy story of the week...

BOYS!! AHH! :o STAY AWAY.. FAR AWAY! believe me.... bad experiences... i figure I will not even bother till God basically DROPS on in my lap... lol ::)


better hope he's a little guy cause that can hurt ;)

do guys EVER look at a girl they think is attractive and see her as more than "attractive" , i mean do they ever look at a girl in a nonlustful way? or is that the only thing they see?


granted most of the time it's lust, but guys do look at girls in a non physical way at times and i'm sure this effect is increased with a growth of The Spirit. for me, i can sometimes find the beauty that few can see and for some girls no matter how attractive they are i get sicked everytime i see them. those are generally the arrogant, stuck up, and conceded ones.

like alot of other guys have been saying, Spirit filled girls are extrememly attractive.

BOYS!! AHH! :o STAY AWAY.. FAR AWAY! believe me.... bad experiences... i figure I will not even bother till God basically DROPS on in my lap... lol ::)


better hope he's a little guy cause that can hurt ;)


lol... yea, it could!! lol... but yea... boys are not for me... David knows.. he knwos all, so does Nicole.. I don't need to worry about them at all anymore.. I just got out of a relationship that lasted for a year... we were serious.. different states, but serious. I found out that the whole time we were together, he was engaged.. I don't trust most guys right now, let alone want to date them.. i am happy being the girl who has guy friends.. NOT BOYFRIENDS!!! lol..

And that is perfectly fine. :) I'm 18 and I haven't had a bf since the 7th grade. I don't mind so much. Not that I haven't had the opportunity to "hook up" with guys who've been interested in me, but I just knew that I didn't want to be in a relationship that wouldn't last. I decided a long time ago to wait until God brings the right one along before I get into a bf/gf relationship. I can't just give my heart away to any old foo. ::) lol. Kudos to the guys who've posted. I feel much more encouraged. :) Ooh, is it just me, or do you automatically think of songs when they relate to what you're talking about?? lol.

Barlow Girl 8)
They might be sisters, Barlow's their last name.
Ordinary girls, they don't live in the fast lane.
They don't rate with the guys that score, 'cause they don't want what the boys want more.
They don't date, they won't date.
They wanna see how they're gonna grow up, who they're gonna be.
But in the meantime they might feel unloved, when all the girls around them are hooking up.
But I know for sure, it's never popular to be pure.
And while some guys might be passing them by, I think they've caught someone's eye.
All the boys in the band want a valentine from a Barlow girl.
Boys think they're the bomb 'cause they remind them of their mom.
All the boys in the band want a valentine from a Barlow girl.
Boys think they're the bomb 'cause they remind them of their mom.
Everyone needs to be loved, everyone needs their own teenage fan club.
Getting attention can feel like a good thing, dress to impress can be oh-so-tempting.
You can get noticed with your body.
Sexual hypnosis by being a hottie.
You might feel like public property.
You might, you might, you shouldn't be.
No girl should feel she has to trade her body for love or be an old maid.
I guess there are guys who are willing to wait, ask a Barlow girl on her way.
All the boys in the band want a valentine from a Barlow girl.
Boys think they're the bomb cause they remind them of their mom.
All the boys in the band want a valentine from a Barlow girl.
Boys think they're the bomb cause they remind them of their mom.
All the boys in the band want a valentine from a Barlow girl.
Boys think they're the bomb cause they remind them of their mom.
All the boys in the band want a valentine from a Barlow girl.
Boys think they're the bomb cause they remind them of their mom.

all in good time

my friend asked Ryan if he would go out with me if I asked him and he said no I feel so regected.None of the guys I like, like me (except for my dad and God) *sigh* I guess they are not ready for a relationship yet? I wish I had a boyfriend though I feel alone and this is pretty much my only contact with the outside world.

just wondering how old are you?

it's possible that although you may "feel" ready for a relationship God might not want you to go out with this particular person or He doesn't want you to date right now!

you gotta just rest in the fact that God has the right person for you and when you and he are both ready God will lead you together!

"Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them" -Saw that on a t-shirt once.

Here is a little story. When I first met Xtina (Whom is now my fiance') in a Christian Chat Room, I at the time was working there as a "counselor". She had a lot of questions about this guy she liked and so fourth. The first thing God spoke was to get her to read "I Kissed Dating Good-bye".

Teens hate to hear about this because we grow up in a society that is void of God and based more on our own wants and desires. In my years ministering to youth, relationships and sex was probably the most difficult because it didn't matter what anyone said, they wanted what they wanted and thats all their was to it. They didn't care how much you would talk about God and such. They wanted to be with that Guy/Girl. Heck, I was the same way for a long time. It's a huge part of my testimony (yeah, the one I'm not posting cause it's "too long") because I ended up getting hurt several times and it almost cost me my life... literally. But they wanna learn the hard way.

Anyways, Xtina always stresses about how dating is not a Christian thing to do. We got into this discussion on the phone tonight as well. Her thoughts on the subject are a lot more strict than mine are, but I know shes right. God wants your relationship with Him before anything else. To have a firm base before he brings you that special person when He feels you are ready. When you date, you jump around from person to person. Date one guy this week, one maybe 3 months down the road, that might last a year and then its over. It causes pain and regret and a lot of people don't seem to understand that its stupid to do that. They don't care, they just don't want to be without another person who can make them feel loved for a bit.

Rather, in the Bible, it talks about courting. Basically it means the guy and girl chilling out with a bunch of people. They are never alone together and it's like a royal guard looking over the princess. Or since this is a girls thread, making sure princess doesn't do something stupid that wouldn't make daddy (God) happy. In the dictionary, its posted as: " A formal meeting or reception presided over by a sovereign." and "To try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry." When two people are dating, 95% of the time its not to try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry. It's mainly because they want to feel loved, even if it isn't that true, unconditional love...

My best advice is to check out that book "I Kissed Dating Good-Bye". It did wonders for the views on my fiance' and God could really speak to her. :)

CJ

I disagreed with a few of his views about dating (I don't think dating is bad, I just think people get themselves into stupid situations too easily). But I loved what Joshua Harris had to say about singleness.

Doesn't he have a second book out? Have you read it, and if so what is it about?

yeah, he does. it's called "Boy Meets Girl." it basically takes the premise of "Kissed" & shows how he (Joshua Harris) lived it out in his life when he met, courted & married his wife. it deals with some of the faults of the first book. specifically, "Kissed" never got into how exactly courtship would look like. "Meets" goes into that a little more.

i enjoyed it. you might want to read it invaded. even if you don't agree with all he has to say. :) it's still good.

The thing about Josh Harris is that he talks about the bad parts of dating, but doesn't distinguish between the "dating lifestyle" so many teens have and what happens between friendship and marriage.

What happened to our dating thread on the old Panheads board? We had some pretty good stuff there ... basically, yeah, the world's customs on relationships aren't the greatest to follow, but... how do you jump from friend to spouse? There has to be something in between.

I suggest Passion & Purity, by Elisabeth Eliot. She has some really good actual Biblical support for what she says, and while she goes a bit extreme in some of the things she says, I thoroughly enjoyed the book when we went through it in my impact group. It goes to show that there is a Godly way to pursue a further relationship without going "oooh, guys have cooties, stay far away!!!1111"

Now I'm wanting to go back and read what was said in our old "No dating before marriage" thread... does anyone have that archived? :

Yeah I've seen that shirt. ::)

That is an interesting way of putting it. I like that idea, because some guys just...yeah. Once you're alone with them things might not go so well.


It's not just guys either. When a couple is alone together, things happen. I've even known the strongest Xian's to fall because of this circumstance. One thing leads to another. And don't ever say it couldn't happen to you or that it wouldn't cause it can and will. If people are as good of Xian's as they say they are, they need to do as the Bible says in all areas including "Keeping themselves from evil". It's a very hard topic for me to discuss because of events in my life both past and current situations.

CJ

I think it's all about maturity, and if God feels you are ready for it. I'm not quite as extreme as refusing to ever spend time alone with someone of the opposite sex- one of my best friends is a chick I've known since I was three, we still hang out on occasion- but I think it's up to what you feel you can handle. Don't go out alone with a girl or guy if you feel you can't handle it.

just wondering how old are you?

it's possible that although you may "feel" ready for a relationship God might not want you to go out with this particular person or He doesn't want you to date right now!

you gotta just rest in the fact that God has the right person for you and when you and he are both ready God will lead you together!

Kate if you were talking to me I am 13 if not then ignore me

Yeah CinderGurl I was asking you, wow 13 dang girl! You shouldn't be worrying about all this guy/girl crap! I am sorry you feel alone, I know exactly how that feels but just know that Jesus is the lover of your soul and you are never alone and you have to trust Him to be your match maker when the time is right and you and your future spous are ready! Focus on your relationship with God because He is one male that will always like you and it's your relationship with Him that will last you your lifetime!

13? Yeah, you don't really need to worry about that. I'm 14, never had a boyfriend, never even been asked out on a date, and I'm just fine with that. I'm just leaving it all in God's hands, and trusting Him. Personally I don't think i'm really ready anyway. :P

yea... i'm almost 20.. didn't have a bf till i was 18.. and i dont even think i was as ready then as i needed to be... (i think i make kind of a lousy girlfriend, LOL)
so me & the guy went back to being friends... but i know it's tough feeling alone... but GOd's there for ya... and right now, i think God hasn't put a guy in the picture cuz He wants me to cling to Him more closely... keep trusting GOd, hang in there, and He'll do awesome things for you... :)

i love and trust Him he is my savior and with out him I wouldn't be here but i eally like Ryan

My friend is a freshman (like me!!) and this guy asked her out and now all she cares about is him. I think she's not really into Christ that much. Just boys. Could you pray for her (Anna) that she can have a Christian relationship with this guy?? (Todd)
** I changed names**NOTE:

Yes, I have many close friends and relatives who are like that: boy (or girl) crazy! Yes, they need our (as Christians) prayer that they can see beyond a boyfriend or girlfriend to see Jesus as their Savior! It seems, now that this is my last year of high school, that all young people care about is dating (and having sex, for that matter). It's always about who's dating who and so on and so forth. I'll admit it: I've never had a boyfriend, and that's not because there was no one! It's because I trust God to show me who the right person for me is and the right time for me to start dating.

i love and trust Him he is my savior and with out him I wouldn't be here but i really like Ryan


well, i love Him & He is my Savior, yet i still know that i am not ready for a relationship with a girl. even tho i'm 20, i have not had a girlfriend, ever. not even close to getting one. not even been on a date. the closest i've come is when a girl kissed me on the cheek in first grade. :-[ ::) but i'm ok with that. no, i'm not simply ok with it. i'm perfectly fine with it.

let me share something with ya. there is this girl i like, D. i've liked her for a while now. ever since i was a junior in High School. but i waited. at first because i was shy, but even once i was sure about how i felt & sure that i wouldn't throw up when i tried to tell her how i feel (even tho we're good friends already, i know i woulda thrown up if i tried to tell her this), i still held back. i knew God wanted me to wait. He didn't just want me to know that He is first. He wanted & wants me to experience & place Him there willingly. He must not only be first, but second, third & fourth as well. He must make up the entirety of my Top Ten list. after that, then D. can take her rightful place on my list. not because she's so bad as to place 11th, but because she is so awesome that she can follow God so closely (on my list & in real life).

so, basically, i've waited even when some of my close friends have been like "dude! you should hook up with D.!" i've waited to make sure i'm right with God. & to know that, it's not me telling Him that i'm set to go. it's me waiting on Him to tell me i can go. but once that happens, don't stand in my way. ;)

unshakeable, that's gotta be one of the coolest explanations (or whatever you wanna call it) that i've heard... rawk on :)

i agree, that was awesome michael. seriously, to be that mature about this type of situation...to be willing to wait for God's perfect timing and His "ok". You will not regreat it. :)

my $0.02 about your typical guy/girl relationship.

first off, at 13 you really don't need to be worrying about that kind of relationship. you are still growing, discovering who you are, maturing..the whole bit.

and, like Kate alluded to, Jesus is the lover of our soul. what does that mean? it means that He loves us and understands us so much more than anyone else. i know every girl longs for the day to get married and have a family. But you know what - you don't need another person. every single person needs to come to that realization. you are not incomplete without a husband/wife. We are incomplete without Jesus Christ in our lives.

we all need to grow in the Lord and become whole in Him. comfortable with ourselves, the way He made us, etc. a good way to check and see if you have gotten to that point is this question:
If God called you to be single, could you do it? would you be satisfied in Him where you wouldn't need another guy in your life?

something to chew on. God is so much more important. His love is so complete and pure, no flaws.

Give Ryan to God and go on with your life. Seeking Him and His will for your life and go forth in the direction He leads you. and when you are ready, God will bring the right person. whether or not it is Ryan. God knows what you need in a spouse. and again, i chose to stress the point that you do NOT need someone on this earth to marry in order to be happy. for in Christ alone is fulness of joy.

am i against marrage? of course not. do i never want to get married? no. i do have that desire to get married one day. But God has been showing me lately that He is all i need. Right now all my effort is to be put into where the Lord has me right now and getting to know the Lord more and more. becoming one with Him. dying to me (in every area in my life) so He can live in me. and it is then that i will know real life.

and the moments when you get that longing inside for a spouse, i encourage you to make the decision to press on in the Lord. to be so intimate with the Lord that we don't even need another person (yes, it is possible). and we aren't constantly begging God for a husband (or wife). we need not be so focused on ourselves and what we want (which is selfish). instead, let's be focused on the Lord. what does He want in me? what does He want me to do today? how can i be closer to Him - more like Him? what needs to die so He can live in me today...now and always?

this is my goal right now - and always will be. we never reach a point in our lives where we are "ok" in our walk with the Lord. there is always more that we can grow and press in. so much about our Heavenly Father that we don't know. and the only way we will get to know Him is spend that quality time with Him.

reminds me of a song from Hillsongs Australia called "Better than Life" off of their newest cd "Hope".
---

better than the riches of this world
better than the sound of my friends' voices
better than the biggest dreams of my heart
and that's just the start
better than getting what i say i need
better than living the life that i want to
better than the love anyone can give
Your love is

and You hold me now in Your arms and never let me go

i can't stop falling in love with You
i'll never stop falling love with You

well Iam ok with me and Ryan I mean he knows that I like him but he was acting strange around me today kind of shy. I met him at his locker after school and we walked for awhile past both of our buses, we where talking about the Twisted Method concert he went to last nite and how instead of suzie getting the autographs for me, he sis and he insisted on getting me everyones autograph. He was being really nice but quiet I think he likes me but i dont' think I can rush these things I am really confuzzled i know that it is going to bother me. I hope that he likes me but i don't think I want him to like me just now because a crushis more fun if the person you are crushing knows or doesn't know. I have a feeling that i am just rambling on about something that you guys don't want to here and that you guys dont' read all the way and thats fine i don't care I feel better now bu my hands hurt and my wrists this is the most i have typed ever on this message board.

You Know WHat I never had A a girl friend !

You Know WHat I never had A a girl friend !

wow, i give you respect.... i think you miss alot in high school when you date.

i think its alot cuse i am ugly and i get turnt down so yeaH

im 22 and before last june i had never had a boyfriend, not because i had never been asked but just cus i felt they weren't the person God wanted me to be with. I am sooooo totally glad i waited though cus i now have a guy in my life who i just feel right with and most importantly he shares my love of Christ. You guys who are like 13 or 14 don't be in such a rush to grow up trust that God will bring the right person into your life at the right time, focus on Him and everything He has planned for you will follow. ;D

Word. :) And you'll be glad you waited too.

well said TE3.

so here's something I thought about because it's something that I have had to learn in the last couple of months.

it is easy to have God be everything, when there is nothing else you want but what we should do is have God be our everything especially when there is something else that we want! example in June and July I had no problem telling God He was my everything and I thought He was until a guy came along who liked me, I had never had a guy like me before and all of the sudden God wasn't my everything anymore, so what He has shown me is that whether there is something else I want or not He HAS to be the centre of my life and heart and He HAS to be the desire of my heart no matter what!

just something I learned lately!

that is very cool Kate. :) thanks for sharing. it's something everyone needs to learn (not just know, but experience) at one time in their life. it's awesome that you've learned it now instead of later. :)

Another thing my pastor's wife brought up awhile ago is that no person is to be your "soul" mate. When you gave your life to Jesus, you gave him everything, including your soul. Whoever has that has all of you, and while you are to love the one God brings to you as a husband/wife, your soul is always the Lords. You always belong completely to God.

i soooo agree wif you on that! God is my soul mate! ;D

BOYS!! AHH! :o STAY AWAY.. FAR AWAY! believe me.... bad experiences... i figure I will not even bother till God basically DROPS on in my lap... lol ::)
;) i toatly agree with you high five oh yeah

Ok time for me to post...

I'm 21, I've never been kissed, and have never dated. Was it totally my choice? Heck no! lol I've told countless girls I liked them, to only be rejected. Ok at the time, I may have not wanted it, but now I see it as a blessing. God really "broke my fall" so to speak. One girl that I like was suicidal, but didn't know it till she dated my friend. She liked me but then went after my best friend. My friend is a Christian, but he's one of those guys who dates girls and then if he doesn't find any common ground with one, breaks up with them. Well, that's what he did with this one and she tried to kill herself.

It's kinda in an odd sort of way to say, God watching out for my best interest. I prolly would've stayed in that relationship if it did happen out of fear of her killing herself. So for some of you girls out there who seem like the boys aren't liking you, God's watching your back.

Honestly, in the picture there are no girls for me. I'm not ready spiritually and as well financually lol. And honestly, I think the reason why God hasn't brought the right one in the picture is because He's calling me to what He has called me to do. But He wants me to mature spiritually before I meet the girl he has for me.

I dunno who said this, but I totally agree about having adoration for a girl who is on fire for Christ. I want someone who puts God before me and nobody else.



-J

well said Jaret - God will bless you with that special girl when you are both ready.

well said Kate - Jesus is to be the center of our lives. above everyone and everything - just give me You Jesus. (reminds me of the song "above all else")

You Know What Guys out there! Get like a card that says ALl the fish in the sea and you could put a name like bethany then in the inside put Will you go out with me and tie it arr ound a bag with real gold fish with curly string! And also I asked a girl out at church Wed. and used that and she said yes so i had my first g/f

Thx Jaret. That post really helped.
Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on something great because I don't have a girlfriend. It just sucks to hang out with a friend while he's with his girlfriend- it feels like I'm not up to par, or something, because I don't love anyone in that way, or like God is keeping something really good, something I really want to experience, away from me.

It's tough to really want something, but to feel God saying, "Uh-uh, nope. Not yet." But I know that God's right. I got close to having a relationship a couple times, but it didn't work out. I think God was watching out for me (and the girl), cuz I would have made a terrible boyfriend- a relationship for me then would have been like a child playing football with a ming vase. I would have smashed it, lol.

I had a bible study just like a week or two ago where we talked about being 'reservuoirs' (sp., I can't spell it for the life of me) instead of 'canals' or ditches. Don't just flow water- you'll run dry. Build it up first and then give when you're full. That's what I'm hoping God's plan is for me- He kept me out of any relationship[s so that I can have more to give when I do finaly start one.
kate and jaret, I think you're both right, when the person focuses on God first, Who will never dissapoint them and never let them down, it makes everything else better.

(p.s. Does anyone else think we should start a relationships thread? The one on the old mb was really good... instead of having just a 'guy trouble' thread. Girls can cause trouble too, ya know. ;) )

i know it sucks to hang out with a friend when they have a g/f or b/f and you are still single - you feel left out and all that.

but know that you aren't missing out. dating should never be rushed.

"why are you two going out?"
"oh, so i look cool. so i fit in...i mean, all my friends are dating."

that's not a good enough reason. some people get together sooner than others. some people marry earlier than others. God has a reason for it all.

your worth is not found in g/f or b/f or spouse - but in Christ alone.

theinvaded - good analgoy (with the resevours and such). yes, God is watching out for you. You can trust Him. He knows when you are mature enough and ready to handle it [He knows us better than we know ourselves].

and when things are done in His timing, His blessing is on it.

[ok, i'll change the title to relationships...that way we can just keep this going. :) ]

but there are also a lot of guys that are not. [driven by lust]

HA! like heck there are! oh my gosh.. i know from my personal expiriences that about 5% of the guys, IF taht... arent driven by the way a girl looks.. if you take a look into the modesty thread you'll get a small glimse of this... basically what im trying to say is taht MOST guys are driven by lust with thier eyes and the appearances of a woman's body...

Well I'm sure alot of you know who I am now well I'm also really good friends with this Varisty Cheerleader name Andrea Morris I liked how she was always nice to me and always very beautiful I meet her last year. And this all happen last her Ex Boyfriend got jealous of me thinking that I was trying to steal Andrea from him that onetime he shouted something at me that almost got me upset but I knew he was lieing he said We Dont want you here Go Away Andrea felt sad for me. I thought that was really stupid Selfish and also Ridicolis what her ex boy friend did. Now this year she has a new one that dose not mind if I say hi to her give her hugs or notes.

nope never had that problem kind of seems like an "as the world turns " type of thing :P but i do have to say that if the ex was just a boyfriend then he does not own the girl and if he was worried about their relationship he should have taken that up with her not you cause it would be her decision to dump him for you not yours, but that wasnt even going to happen so he was totaly out of line and its sad that he felt threatened and wasnt as secure in that relationship as he wanted to be.

Who you are? Are you some sort of special person?



I don't have any advice. Sorry. Good luck with it.

Who you are? Are you some sort of special person?



I don't have any advice. Sorry. Good luck with it.
Yes you would say that I all ready told about myself on the Introduce your self Thread.

Who you are? Are you some sort of special person?



I don't have any advice. Sorry. Good luck with it.


drum roll...........................
well it say's he's a llama....lol

Gosh I did not even know that some Christians would still have no respect for the Handicaped. I been on the offical MM fourm before and they were alot like of the people on there were like Nazi's they disrespected me for my disabilty which got me angry but still had some friends on there that were still nice to me.

Please forgive my ignorance if I offended. I hadn't read the thread.

but there are also a lot of guys that are not. [driven by lust]

HA! like heck there are! oh my gosh.. i know from my personal expiriences that about 5% of the guys, IF taht... arent driven by the way a girl looks.. if you take a look into the modesty thread you'll get a small glimse of this... basically what im trying to say is taht MOST guys are driven by lust with thier eyes and the appearances of a woman's body...
thats really pathetic and shallow that the soul reason for approaching a girl to ask her out is because your physicaly attracted to her i mean unless your going to be bad and direspect her body then the only reason your dating her is to stare and fantisise about her . man you almost convinced me to become a nun and for get about the jurk society know as males. >:(

Gosh I did not even know that some Christians would still have no respect for the Handicaped.


good to see you aren't a llama anymore... And you don't have to have a disability to be a llama for 50 posts without realizing it the way I did so join the club, you'll fit in just fine.... also just wanted to let you know that I (and most others) don't read every post on the board, namely your post in introduce yourself. So just remember that when you post something that not everyone (even those of us loved ones who are disabled) realizes your situation. There's times that I've thought of getting my daughter a shirt that says "I'm disabled so what's your excuse" (tho I never would actually do that). Sounds like the guy you posted about is the one with the problem. He clearly would know and that is cruelty. I've told my oldest daughter that if someone gives her little sister a wierd look or says something rude that's thier problem and not ours. Usually they have no clue that my daughter is disabled. However if someone was intentionally cruel they would have one mean momma on thier back.

I know you'll find friends among the panheads in here. Just give it time. You'll see.

sorry if i post what's been posted. i havent read through everything.

i dont think there is anything wrong with being attracted to someone because of there appearance. its hormones and all that, its natures way of getting us attracted in the first place. but all looks will do is that, attract. if you are planning on a relationship based on looks, it seems to me it cant be very personal. if you dont care what the person thinks and if you dont really enjoy their company than take a picture. physical attraction is the first thing, but beyond that it is personality.

forgive me if i am ignorant. i am but 13.

what i really hate is when guys objectify girls, when it is all lust. once you think of girls as objects, they are toys, not people, and i hate that.

i agree with the girls opinions i have read so far, for the most part guys are lustful and they really dont care for personality. girls seem better about it, but a lot of times it goes both ways. if i find a note on the classroom floor chances are 10 to 1 it will mention how hot or not someone is in there somewhere. i dont like that either, but i think males are mostly to blame.

im young and naiive but thats my opinion as of now.

I know it's been stated before, but dating is not necessarily the direction I believe God wants any Christian to go. I know that seems strange in a society in which we are told that date someone to see if you like them, etc. How many people have dated more than once. How many people in those relationships have had their hearts torn out?

I have had my fair share and all I can say is now that I'm a Christian, I wish it would have been different. I am married to an awsome Christian women, who didn't come to know the Lord until after I was saved. I do believe we were meant to be together and if I would have followed the Lord in my earlier years, I believe God would still have joined us together.

I say these things because of one example that was jut brought before me. I have some very close friends in our church, (our mentors) who have 3 children. The oldest is a girl and she had just gotten married. She never dated. This sounded strange. They were allowed to date, but she chose not to. Instead, she put all of her focus and energy on how she could better herself to serve God fully.

She went to school for sign language to interpret for the deaf. This alone tells of her heart. Anyway, she married another young man from our church. At the wedding, her bride's maid who was a very close friend to her in college stated something that totally opened my eyes to this young lady's heart.

My friend's daughter had told her one time that she was focused on God. While being focused on Him, if she saw someone out of the corner of her eye running after God as hard as she was, that would be the person she would marry. She saw that in this young man. So they began to "court". To court means "To try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry." She already knew this was the person God had placed in her life, so the intention was to marry, not to see if they were compatible. If we are totally focused on God, then He will show us who we are to marry, if we are to marry at all. Most people, I will say God has plans for them to marry, otherwise He would not have created Adam and Eve and told them to "multiply"

Most people, I will say God has plans for them to marry, otherwise He would not have created Adam and Eve and told them to "multiply"


what about Matthew 19.10-12 where it says,
"The disciples said to him, 'If this is the situation between a husband and a wife, it is better not to marry.'
Jesus replied, 'Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

Most people, I will say God has plans for them to marry, otherwise He would not have created Adam and Eve and told them to "multiply"


what about Matthew 19.10-12 where it says,
"The disciples said to him, 'If this is the situation between a husband and a wife, it is better not to marry.'
Jesus replied, 'Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."


I did say most people, not all people. It is God's plan for us to populate the Earth, otherwise He would not have said it. I do understand that not all are destined to marry, but I believe it's safe to say that most people are.

It's funny, if you check the beliefs of certain groups, the Masons are the only ones I remember the names of. They want the human population kept below 1/2 a million...

... hmmm, yeah 1/2 million. Its already 6BILLION. But they want 1/2 million... gna have to do some mass exterminating.

i dont think there is anything wrong with being attracted to someone because of there appearance. its hormones and all that, its natures way of getting us attracted in the first place. but all looks will do is that, attract. if you are planning on a relationship based on looks, it seems to me it cant be very personal. if you dont care what the person thinks and if you dont really enjoy their company than take a picture. physical attraction is the first thing, but beyond that it is personality.


Actually, you are right on track there. In any relationship, there has to be a physical attraction, else the two people will never truly be happy with one another.

And before you all go postal, lemme explain something. God can create a physical attraction in you for someone who you might not think it. For those of you who have met me; will, imperfection, skelfy, minnow, tater, ect... you all know that I'm a bigger guy at the moment. Over the past two years, I've put on about 60 pounds. Now when I met my fiance' (who is a cutie ;) )about a year and a half ago, I had put the majority of my weight on. She was anything but physically attracted to someone like me. But God changed her heart on all bases because I was the one. Even right now, she is always commenting on how I look great (even though I argue it). And I know that I will look even better once I start my training again (sitting 3 yrs in a studio sucks by the way...).

But there are limitations to this. You can't base a relationship on looks, else you be basing it on a fault line ready to crumble the strongest buildings. My relationship with Xtina is based with God first, because He is what makes everything else into perfection. It kinda reminds me of that movie Shallow Hal and how he looked at a girl and saw this beautiful woman because he was looking at her from the inside. I think that's kinda what God does to us in relationships. But when we base it on our selfishness, we are building on dangerous ground that is obviousely going to end in disaster.

CJ

Actually, you are right on track there. In any relationship, there has to be a physical attraction, else the two people will never truly be happy with one another.

But there are limitations to this. You can't base a relationship on looks, else you be basing it on a fault line ready to crumble the strongest buildings. My relationship with Xtina is based with God first, because He is what makes everything else into perfection.


First off, let me say that is so cool Terrasin.

Of course, you have to like how the person looks...but that shouldn't be the focus. Whenever I hear someone tell about their new boyfriend it starts with 'he's cute' but when someone truly loves that person 'he's cute' comes last. *or they forget to say it*

True, most guys I know only like a girl for the looks...but...I do know a few guys who are anything but that.

Relationships are evil. Men are evil.

J/K :D

First of all let me state this one fact: I am not allowed to exclusively date one person. Translation: I can not date. Or..at least that is what I think my dad meant.

If I could date. I doubt that I would. I have realized a few things in my examination of teenage relationships...

One: It is unreasonable to expect most males of the homo sapian species to view relationships the way I do-long term. I think that if I dated any one I would be way too intense for him. I have always viewed dating as leading to marriage. I have a very future-minded view of most issues. Guys tend to be behind in maturity, when compared to females, at least at this age group.

Two: God is so much cooler than a guy. Enough said.

Three: I do not want to have to depend on a guy to complete me. Not in the feminist sense of this phrase, but in that it is important that we, as females, develop ourselves outside of relationships. Especially at the age that I am at.
------------------

Sometimes I actually wonder if I will ever find a soul mate.. It seems like so many guys are lukewarm for Christ. All I want is a guy who loves God with all of his heart and isn't afraid to go all out for Him. That is the most attractive thing of all. But, that seems like asking for so much compared to the guys around me. This expectation combined with me being as fiesty as I am seems really high. If I could only find a guy who isn't afraid to challenge me and who loves God, and who is actually attracted to me..Alas.

Sam I think your view of relationships is spot on. Dating without the intention for marriage is pointless, all both sides get is a piece of their heart tore out.

Good to see there's FINALLY some Christian teenagers out there that getting a guy/girl ISNT the most important thing in life!

I think you (samatha) talked about this in the last part of your posted but: i wonder if i have the gift of being single. I think ahead to my future sometimes and wonder if I'll ever get merried. Yeah, i know to early to start thinking about that sorta thing, but i do wonder!

I have had a few boyfriends and then when I see all my friends dating just anyone I think its pointless. If you don't see any future with this person then why date them? It will just lead to hurt in the end. I am not saying that I am ready to look for a husband, I'm only 17, but I do look at the guys that I like in a having a future with them. I have many guy friends and sometimes my other friends ask why I'm not dating them and I'm not doing it because I see them as just friends. Sure there are guys that I think of as more than just friends but that is something that I am praying about, that I don't jump into a relationship to quickly.

Relationships are evil. Men are evil.

J/K :D

First of all let me state this one fact: I am not allowed to exclusively date one person. Translation: I can not date. Or..at least that is what I think my dad meant.



Ha ha ha ha *sarcastic laugh* it is funny how you hear one thing and your dad hears another...I can date..lol..how strange...

Whats the best way to ask someone out? I'm a guy, and I need to know the best way to ask a special girl out... I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!

Ha! if i knew, i wouldnt be spending so much time on here...LOL

Ha! if i knew, i wouldnt be spending so much time on here...LOL


Your not the only one Doormonkey :-

First question, what is the state of your current relationship with her? Are you just aquaintances, friends, good friends, or best friends? If you answered on of the first two, I would recomend that you get to be good friends with her before you ask her out. But after that, I can't help you.

humm asking her out first i think you should let her know what your true intentions are what ever that might be tell her why you want to deepen that relationship(whatever it might be) and then finaly ask if she is willing to depen you all s relationship on a date/whatever asking her out means level then send me 25 bucks for the good advice .i just would like to say when a guy ask me out they never do any of the above which is why i always turn them down , but i belive if you are truly honest with her and open about your intentions and feelings(which is really difficult for guys) she will feel much more comfortable in bring the relationship to a new level because she wont be in the dark (and trust me girls always examin why guys do what they do and alot of times come up with a possible and sometimes false conclusion)what im trying to say is that its highly possible that she will end up wondering why your asking her out if you dont come right out and say it and wondering only prolongs her answer. now everybody dont get comfortable with me giving out guy /girl advice cause im not a fan of more than friends guy/girl relationships.but if your going to do it do it right ;D

Hey is there an easy way to tell a non christian guy that you can't date him b/c he's not a christian guy?

i dunna how to tell him that. I've never been asked out even by a christian guy, so I'm not the person to ask lol.

here's a ? (for guys or girls), what are the top 10 things you look for in the opposite sex?

(BTW, I've loved reading all the posts here)

oooo good question
1. a pure strong love and hunger for christ

2. a passion for harcore rock

3.determination toward personal goals

4.respect for women

5.vergin

6.funny ,but knows when to be serious

7.spontaneous

8.someone who has some of the same goals as I have

9.someone who isnt a touchy feely person

10. and stands up for his beliefs

do you think im hard to please?

Hey is there an easy way to tell a non christian guy that you can't date him b/c he's not a christian guy?


maybe you could just tell him he's not the type of guy you're looking for, i wouldn't be blunt or brutally honest or whatever because if you say "i can't date you because you're not a christian dude" he'll think you have a holier than thou attitude and can turn him off christianity, just be careful


top ten? hmmm

1. Loves God
2. Loves Rock
3. holds same views (generally) i do
4. cute, but not overlly, that can be too sweet, like a ten pound bag of sugar
5. individual

maybe you could just tell him he's not the type of guy you're looking for, i wouldn't be blunt or brutally honest or whatever because if you say "i can't date you because you're not a christian dude" he'll think you have a holier than thou attitude and can turn him off christianity, just be careful


Not only that, but he will decieve you into believing he is a christian. A woman (a christian) I know married a man who appeared to ba a christian, but the day after the wedding he said that he would not be going to church anymore. It turned out that he was violent and beat her. Sadly, she has filed for divorce as a last resort (not that I condone divorce, but this seems to be the situation that it could be acceptable). That is why I would not say "I'm not dating you because you are not a christian"

top 10 things you look for in the opposite sex?



hmm... top ten in a guy?

1. totally in love with God, with a desire to grow closer to Him & live for Him.
2. someone with goals/dreams/motivation for his life
3. someone who thinks i'm fascinating
4. someone who gets along with my friends/family
5. someone who likes some of the same stuff I do
6. taller than me--- like 6 foot or so.
7. good smile
8. someone who's not afraid to live life
9. someone who doesn't get bored with life.
10. someone that'll end up being my best friend.


and as far as the guy who's not christian askign you out... i'd say be careful to not alienate him so much that oyu cna't ever witness to him. i don't think missionary dating's a good idea... i'm watchign a friend of mine go through that right now... and it's hard... but i think his case might be one of the few ones that might work... but still....

9.someone who isnt a touchy feely person


YES!!!!!!! ... at least not all the time ...

Continue.

1. Laura


done.

I thought I'd post my observations on the most common ways to destroy a relationship, going in order of the most common (that I've seen)

Remember these aren't rock solid. These are my own personal observations of my friends/family in relationships, the most common ways they failed and how I think they could have been averted.

1. Paranoia.
The "Oh what if when they said 'something' s/he meant this?"
"Oh why isn't s/he calling me, what if they don't like me anymore?"
"Why is s/he late, are they with someone else?"

This paranoia then leads to unecessary envy, confusion, pain and then outright accusations followed by a destroyed relationship.

GET OVER IT!!! The problem isn't what s/he is doing the problem is between your own ears!

Solution: Make an agreement with s/he that if one side has a problem, uncertainty, question like above^ that they say something ASAP! Not to sit around in paranoia getting worked up over nothing but approaching them and asking what the craic is.

2. Lack of friendship
I've seen soooo many relationships starting just for the hell of it. No solid friendship there. No interest in starting friendship. A relationship like that is doomed to failure, happened in every single case that I've seen where friendship isnt important.


A girlFRIEND and boyFRIEND have Friend making up the most of the word.

In 50yrs the guy/girl won't be so amazing looking. What will be left?


Solution: Be friends with the person, not just someone to take out on a friday night and get off with. Build a friendship with them. Talk with them. Learn about them. It'll turn out to be the kind of relationship where you can talk to them for hours on end and then go "Wow is that the time? Seemed only like a few minutes have passed!?"


3. Selfishness
I've heard it said "There is no 'I' in us, but there's a 'U' "

true words indeed, focusing entirely on yourself and what you want pushes ppl away. No1 wants to be around a selfish person bossing everyone around and dictating what 'they' want.

Solution: Focusing on the other person, showing interest and concern for them. Putting her/him first. Ask what they want to do, be interested in what they think and their opinions.



Does anyone have any more?

along with teh paranoia thing... don't listen to what other people are speculating... go to teh person involved, get it straight from teh source if there's a problem... that works in ALL relationships, not just romantic ones

^ Indeedy.

1. Laura


done.


awwwwwwwwwwwwww :-[

i think the most important thing is putting the other person first, NOT being selfish.....if your doing that than you shudn't have any of those other problems!

The MOST important thing in any relationship though is GOD.......if he's not the BIGGEST and MOST important thing then you basically have nothing.

U can put the other first and still be paranoid.

Like I'd said, they were just my observations.

hmmmm...i suppose u cud.....tho if your putting their needs first u wudnt really be thinking about yourself and if they like u for this reason or that reason, are they happy with your relationship, etc....

i guess tho u probly stil wud have thos lil doubts...

to add onto the Friend part of Skynes list (btw, those are good. :)), i feel like i should say this.

if you aren't satisfied being their friend only, then you aren't ready to have a relationship more than that. the entire goal of everything you do with that guy/girl should be about friendship. even if you started with a solid friendship & moved to boyfriend/girlfriend, you still need to be friends above everything else. that way, even if things don't work out, you still have your friendship. & if things do work out, then it will make your relationship all the more strong.

ditto what he said ^... that's one smart mod we've got here ;)

Thanks you guys. I think I understand a little more now.

My list:
1. LOVES JESUS CHRIST with all of his heart, soul, and strength and is not afraid to be passionate for our Lord and Savior and lives to worships Him!
2. Does not "drift" through life! Has a plan/purpose/passions
3. Is a virgin, or has committed to a second virginity
4. Has a good sense of humor! But also has his head screwed on straight-think common sense
5. Treats women/children with respect and courtesy
6. Challenges me to live more passionately for God--isn't afraid to challenge me intellectually or spiritually-can handle me being feisty
7. Cherishes me for who I am
~ ~ ~ ~
Ok those are my serious things..now for four fluffy things..

8. Can speak a foreign language
9. Is moderately attractive..ohhh..Dark hair..and dark eyes..wow! Maybe slightly "punky/preppy/surfer"
10. Loves music as much as I do..ohhh..if he could play guitar wow! Musically inclined is good!

^^^and now you all know why I don't have a boyfriend^^

lol our list sound alike so when you find that guy let me know if he has a brotherlol ;D

Right-o! Will do. Hopefully there are twins...somewhere...:D

^hehe... ;D

Hmmm, my thoughts on relationships are roughly as follows in the lyrics of a song...."Relationships are the devil...." Yeah, that about sums it up. K, in all seriousness, I would have to say that basicly every societies model for relationships have serious issues. Generally they try to fix one problem and introduce another one. You win some, you loose some. But the basis of a dating relationship really does have to be friendship. The end goal of dating is marrige, and that is being with that person a LONG time ideally. You better have something more to talk about than how pretty their eyes are. I suppose the only true test for that is having the relationship end and seeing if you can still be friends, NOT A FUN THING TO GO THROUGH LET ME TELL YOU. If your heart is broken but your still friends, I would say that you didn't do half bad durring the dating. Now the problem is that it's over. Dang it. Hehe. Life's ironies, you have to love them. Anywho, that was my two cents for today, now for my rant....

You are only allowed to use the term "courting" in my presence if you fullfill two conditions: First, you must know that the original use for that term was the mideval tradition of DATING ANOTHER MAN's WIFE. In a setting that was known for not staying pure(the whole pay indulgences for your sins thing is a boon if you are a wealthy land owner). Second, YOU must define the term. It is being used primarily as a christian buzzword(why that word of all?). They mean dating in groups or something that they never quite make known to everyone else. Why not use the term "group-dating" for dating in a group rather than trying to use a word that makes it sound holier? K, I feel better now, had to rant about that.

Well said in the rant.

YES! Someone said it! And if you remember Mary and Joseph, Mary was supposed to be stoned for her pregnancy because they thought that she had sinned. But if you remember, they weren't married, they were performing a Jewish courtship, which was a year long ordeal that entitled the two forming an aggrement to remain loyal to one another, and PLEDGED to marriage, solidifying that they would be married. If they sinned with each other or anyone else, they were to be stoned.
Puts a different perspective on things. :P

this is not going to be organized in any manner.


God is a God of creativity. i think He likes to use different methods to bring people together. life would be completely boring if we all met our spouses the exact same way.

i used to think there was some formula for romance. i used to think that i would fit in that formula. that formula was to marry the first guy i was romantically involved with. and that didn't happen. and yet through the experience, though it was painful, i learned so much about myself and my desires in a spouse and what i need to do to ready myself for marriage. i had my head stuck in ignorant, idealistic clouds, and i couldn't breathe very well up there. i was bound by a lot of society's ideas in regards to relationships. i pray that i've been removed by some of them.

i was told last night by my bible study leader to make sure i marry my best friend. so until i get a best friend who's a male, that isn't happening.

physically attraction is an essential for marriage. otherwise just remain best friends with the other person. someone already made this point, but God created our bodies the way He did for a reason. He created that chemistry, that spark. what the world has done is to take the God-given sexual appeal and turn it into a perversion.

personally, i'm waiting for the best in a spouse. and if i never meet him, i'll remain single, and i'll remain happy, because i will know that i'm in the place where God wants me to be.

there are risks involved in loving someone. there's pain and sacrifice. and God doesn't drop people into our laps, usually. He can (i won't limit Him), but there MUST be effort made on your part to make the relationship happen. if you feel the person is a potential candidate for marriage, effort must be made to see that possibility. the potential for damage and heartache comes from daring to love someone else.

God is a God of creativity. i think He likes to use different methods to bring people together. life would be completely boring if we all met our spouses the exact same way.

i was told last night by my bible study leader to make sure i marry my best friend. so until i get a best friend who's a male, that isn't happening.

these two struck me. the first is something i, too, have learned. going through the very beginnings of a relationship, i thought that i knew what we could, should & would do. but we did something different. i've not heard of anyone else doing things the way we are. it reminds me of the title of a book by Eric & Leslie Ludy. the title is "When God Writes Your Love Story." He is composing each story now. even if we haven't met our husband/wife. He is still writing the prologue & the beginning chapters.

the second one hit me in that it is so true. i know that a friend is who i will marry, but i never thought of her as needing to be my best friend. hmmm. very insiteful. :) thanks Hollie.

I did date my best friend, and what is said is true, it is very dangerous. Thankefully we did remain friends but if things turn out as "not to be" it is a hard road back. Though it is possible, takes prayer and a lot of determination, but it is possible. Actually Tara is now engaged to a guy named Corey, nice guy, looking forward to harrasing him at the bachelor's party. And we need to come up with a good prank for the car........

As for every story being different, yeah that has hit me a lot of late myself. I was very pleased with the way Tara and I handled things last time(for the most part, of coarse there are always things that could have been done better) but if or when I have another relationship I doubt I'll do things the same. I have come to the conclusion that every relationship is different and needs to be treated as such. Different rules and convictions that would have to be arrived at by a lot of prayer rather than, "well this worked last time" or "this worked for them"...........Now to actually find someone. ;)

i think
[/list]

Dude all the stuff you were saying was good stuff, but it's always good to back it up with scripture man. People can do whatever they want with your thoughts, but they can't argue with scripture. :cheesy:

About_worth, those are excellent points. Very ture.
I've never been in a romantic relationship, so I don't know what does or doesn't work for me yet. I hope its not a 'learn while doing' kind of experience. :-\ I hate the idea of the first relationship being just a learning experience that isn't meant to last.
So I guess my point is that there are things you can learn from other people, even though your romantic life may come about differently.

I did date my best friend, and what is said is true, it is very dangerous. Thankefully we did remain friends but if things turn out as "not to be" it is a hard road back. Though it is possible, takes prayer and a lot of determination, but it is possible.

i agree... i've only had one semi-romantic relationship in my life... and it was with one of my best friends. and the timing definetly was NOT right... and things definetly got difficult for a while. but we stuck with it, fought it out, and decided to just be best friends, for the time being at least. we've reached the conclusion that God'll bring us back together in His timing, if it's His will. Staying friends was tough, for a little while. but definetly well-worth the effort. :)

My mom always told me when I was younger, to be sure htat whoever I marry is my best friend. I think it only makes sense... if you're goign to spend the rest of your life (and God willing, that's waht... say 50 years?) you'd better be best friends with them. otherwise, it could be a VERY long lifetime.

ok since were on the subject ill admit i have dated a realy good guy friend and this is hard for me because now i find it embarassing, but we were good friends and knew each other for 10 years , before we decided to date i made sure if things didnt work otu we would still be friends and he reassured me that we would . yeah right after the break up wich wasnt messy , but a matter of age and threats from our older sisters wich was my best friend . so after that things were never the same its hard for us to carry a normal coversation with each other let alone sit in the same room . now i kow it s totaly not worth losing a good friendif your not sure that relationship wont end up in a marrage or at least engagement. that guy was the last person i could realy talk to with out any judgments or stupid advice he was just an open ear that cared now that ear is gone . and now i dont care how much im into a guy that starts as just a friend i wont make any steps in to persuing a deeper relationship with out Gods direction , i dont care if he finds out that im interested in him or know that hes interested in me , i just have fun being his friend and nothing more until he or i feels that our partnership is apart of gods will. man i hope some ppl i know dont read this , its a part of my life im ashamed of .

that is good advice. :) i'm sorry that you had to go throught that in order to learn such a good lesson. no matter what, if the one you are dating is your best friend or a total stranger (i hope not!), God should be behind it. He should never be left out of any decision of this magnitude.

Dude all the stuff you were saying was good stuff, but it's always good to back it up with scripture man. People can do whatever they want with your thoughts, but they can't argue with scripture. :cheesy:

good point. i'll have to make time to search out scriptures in regards to all of this.

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mike, i'm glad some of the things i said spoke to you in some way. and i wish you the best with that "one" in your life. :)

way, I know who my spouce will be, and its been backed up by scripture by the big man himself, and I am really good friends with her, its all cool, but just not the time to get into nething yet, Singleness is a gift from God, do something with it, not about it, use the time when you have no ties to have extra time to spend with God, do his work, and build a stronger relationship with him, then when you are seeking him fully, and its in his perfect time, he'll tell you who, dont date for the sake of it, to many ties and if your in a relationship, all you can do is show love to that person, which take away from the person who you will spend the rest of your life with, If you lets just say, sleep with someone who you arent spending your life with, when you are with the person who you will spend the rest of your life with, sex wont be as special. Plus if you have faith in God youll beleive and trust that he well bring across your perfect partner, so why settle for second best, when you can wait for the best(eg an athlete could be sencond best and stay there and be happy about it, but if that athlete persevers and trains and practices over time with the right training they will become first, by then they will be so much happier for spending that time in training, WHICH IS HARD). I have loads of sermons and stuff, and good teachings and all, ill read over them again and post up a few good things.

And we need to come up with a good prank for the car........

Lol, get cling film put it on the car, smooth it out so as it cant be seen, then write on the cling film with a perminent marker, works a treat!!!

Hey guys i need ur advice on somthing. I recently dated a girl and i had like her for like a year, and i just kept it inside bc i wasent sure if God wanted us to date or not. One day it just opened up like a flood gate and I just figured that God did want us to date. So we started dating and this was like my first real girlfriend and we were both christians, i havent dated anyone in my 3 and 1/2 years of high school. So we started dating and i figured that just both of us being christians would make it a christian relationship. Man was i wrong we dated for about 3 months and we did some stuff that i am not to happy about, nothing really bad, but not the kinda stuff i would be proud of. Anyways lately there have been some signs like my youth pastor has had a talk about dating like 3 times in 2 months, and we both went to this love, sex, and dating conference at my church it was really awesome and i got alot of things out of it. I now understand what went wrong in the relationship and we both still have feelings for eachother. So we are woundering if these signs are like we should stop dating right now, and mabey if in the future "we are going to the same college" we should try again, or just take a step back and look at our relationship and see what we need to do to fix it. I wish i could turn back time and fix everything but that is not gonna be able to happen. Also her friend is getting really jealous and dosent want us to date so it is making it really hard on us. Her friend is basically saying either choose him or choose me. Either way we still will like each other and we will still be really good friends. I mean if we are meant to be God will bring us together if we split up right?

One comment, a bf/gf isnt worth losing a good friend over, especially in high school...but dont let that shape you're decision. If she cant be with you and her friend, then something needs to change in one of the two, or both relationships.

Hope that was good advice ;D

first off, it's good that you learned that just because you are a Christian doesn't mean you will always act like God wants you to. we all struggle with this individually, so it's only logical that this would happen in relationships as well.

but now that you've learned that through your experiences, where do you go from there? you are going to hate my answer. i don't know. nobody on here can know. only you, your girlfriend & God can work that out. everyone else can give their opinions & thoughts, but those won't necessarily be right. look at Job. his three friends gave him advice that they saw as sound, but Job ignored & was the better for it. whatever decision you two decide God is pushing you towards, work towards it completely. don't doubt that you should have taken the other path. just keep walking, trusting God to show you the way.

I have a guy who I really liked/like or something..but I'm waiting for him to make the first move so to speak. I don't want to be the persuer in this relationship. My theory is this..if God wants us together, it will happen!

Then persue the Lord, and he will bless you. ;)

1. Laura
LOL, I love how long that list is!



Dude, you do not know how BAD I wish that my future list will end up being that long! I wish it were that easy for me to say... I don't have a list, but it goes without saying... top priority: Christian.

Honestly, I don't see marriage in my future. And I don't care. If God designed me to be single, so be it. I know that I'll always be wanting, but that does not matter to me... what I want is very different from what I need. I know that if I ever fall in love, it will be either a long-term friendship or it will be sudden, because I honestly don't want to seek a relationship. I know that last part made like NO sense, but I try ::]

i for one have never been in a real meaningful relationship before, but God put this really awesome guy in my life and i like him a lot. everything started out ok, but now i feel like he's ignoring me, well, i did email him a lot, but only because he said i could, and it was all important stuff. i am trying to tell him how i really feel about him, but it seems like God is teaching me patience, and making me wait for the right time. i did nothing wrong, and things were great till one day, it's like he dropped off the planet. mabye he's been busy, or maybe he feels the same way about me and is too scared to confront me about it. i don't know, and i have been literally love sick for the past week or two over this. please pray for me, even though none of you probly understand all this blubbering, but i do, and so does God. word of advice, be prepared to wait for stuff when you put something, especially a relationship, into God's hands and ask Him to make it work in His timing. Also, when you ask for patience, He will slam you with it! i know! but it's all good!! Amen?!!

Amen. I'll pray for ya. I understand that emotion of abandon, even though I've never been in a relationship. Lovesickness... eh, I don't know if I've been "lovesick" before, so much as "lustful," seeing how it's hard for a guy to tell the difference much of the time ;) but I'll pray for ya. God bless!

thanks, i really feel as if this is a "God thing," it just feels and seems like He is in it so much. I just think my friend has a lot on his mind right now. i hate having to learn patience, but in the end, i know i will thank God so much for it.

Bye A.D. have a great one, have to go now! Brittany:)

Yep, in the end you'll be thanking God for your impatient patience :P. God bless!