skilletfreak101
10-08-2006, 05:42 PM
Well, call me a stupid, immature teenager or whatever, but this is one thing I've been going through and it's kind of been annoying me lately. So, normally I'm not a guy who likes to date or anything, but there's this one girl that I really like. She stands out from the rest of the girls I know so much and I like everything about her. One thing that sucks though is that she is 17 years old and I'm only 15 (turning 16 in a couple of months). So when she turns 18 and graduates, I will only be 16, so that would be really weird. I really want to stop thinking about her but for some reason I can't and I cannot get her out of my head. i also kinda want to tell her that I like her like this but at the same time I really don't want to like scare her away as a friend or anything like that. so what are your guys' thoughts on this? sorry if you think this is a really dumb thread, but I just would like to know what you guys would do cuz it's really bothering me. thanks fellow panheads

NightCrawler
10-08-2006, 07:23 PM
Okay, so a lot of my friends have been getting car issues. Like everywhere. I'm talkin' 5 cars need to be repaired or replaced.

... and why does it seem like kids are coming to the board for dating advice lately? Seasonal issues as well?

skynes
10-08-2006, 10:32 PM
Try this:

Get on your knees. Pray and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING until God specifically tells you to!

When God tells you to do something, you know it's Him with no doubt.

agent_c68
10-09-2006, 02:00 AM
In addition to the usual "Pray about it and give it over to God", Iíve got a few questions about your relationship, as it is right now, to help you, or anyone else in a similar situation.

What is your current relationship like? Are you really good friends, just friends, or both of you just go to the same youth group/high school? This one is not a sign of if sheíll say yes, but it helps determine whether or not she might know you enough to decide reasonably. I was close friends with a girl that was still said no, but she said no knowing who I was and was not interested.

How does she feel about you? Has she expressed any interest, or a lack of interest, in a relationship? This one is harder to figure out, at least it has been for me, but this one helps determine if sheíll say yes or no.

I knew a guy who was in a situation very similar to what youíve described. The detail was that they were barely friends, only really knew each other because they went to the same youth group. But he was so madly in love that he did not realize that she did not care at all.

In my opinion, relax and enjoy yourself. Iím not saying party with all the crazy girls, but realize that God has a plan for you and you do not need to worry about this stuff. I know several people close to me who didnít even start dating the one they married until they were in their mid 20ís. A relationship isnít bliss, at first it feels good until you start running into conflicts between spending time (and money) with her and doing other stuff you either need to do or want to do (school, hanging out with the guys, workÖ). Iím not saying that it would not be worth the effort, but it might not be worth the effort right now.

And Iíll repeat once more, pray about it and give it over to God.

skilletfreak101
10-10-2006, 06:19 AM
What is your current relationship like? Are you really good friends, just friends, or both of you just go to the same youth group/high school? This one is not a sign of if sheíll say yes, but it helps determine whether or not she might know you enough to decide reasonably. I was close friends with a girl that was still said no, but she said no knowing who I was and was not interested.

Yes we are really good friends. we went to the same youth group for over a year and went to alot of places with eachother like ATF and stuff like that. then last year her family stopped going to my church, so she asked me for my phone number and we now talk on the phone all the time. she goes to this other church sometimes which i occasionally visit because i have other friends there so i see her there sometimes too.


How does she feel about you? Has she expressed any interest, or a lack of interest, in a relationship? This one is harder to figure out, at least it has been for me, but this one helps determine if sheíll say yes or no.

well she thinks that we are really good friends and i've sometimes hinted that i loved talking to her and stuff like that, but the question of a relationship has never really come up and i have no idea what she thinks about it.


I knew a guy who was in a situation very similar to what youíve described. The detail was that they were barely friends, only really knew each other because they went to the same youth group. But he was so madly in love that he did not realize that she did not care at all.

that was actually sort of my situation for a while as well until we actually became really good friends.


In my opinion, relax and enjoy yourself. Iím not saying party with all the crazy girls, but realize that God has a plan for you and you do not need to worry about this stuff. I know several people close to me who didnít even start dating the one they married until they were in their mid 20ís. A relationship isnít bliss, at first it feels good until you start running into conflicts between spending time (and money) with her and doing other stuff you either need to do or want to do (school, hanging out with the guys, workÖ). Iím not saying that it would not be worth the effort, but it might not be worth the effort right now.

And Iíll repeat once more, pray about it and give it over to God.

yep, that's really good advice. i really like her but i don't know where that's going to get me if i ask her out or anything like that, because like i said before i don't really date because i don't want to have to worry about relationships or anything like that in this particular time in my life. but she just is always on my mind and alot of times i find myself daydreaming about her...it's pretty stupid and i'm praying for the faith to just let it go.

somasoul
10-10-2006, 06:34 AM
Let's get this straight.

You have a chick that:

A) Asked you for your phone number
B) Calls you all the time
C) Says she likes talking to you

And you wonder if she digs you? Sure, some chicks just want to be friends. But I'd say she wants you to make a move. Girls don't want wimpy dudes who aren't self assured so put your chin strap on and take charge of the situation.

You got questions because you aren't in control of the situation, and being a man is at the very least pretending to be in total control of everything.

I'm a sales person. My job is dating, it's wooing. I woo big smelly engineers and matinence guys all day long so they buy my stuff. Sure, these relationships I form aren't sexual in nature, but it's the same "game".

If you don't talk about your true feelings with her then you'll never get what you want. Go for it and don't give in. Take charge, don't her give her control, she doesn't want it. Say something akin to: "Hey, [girl's name], I want you to come with me to [event]."

Don't ask a question she can say no to. Don't ask "Hey, would you like to come with me to [awefully boring place?". Tell her what you're doing and take her. Take her some place cool like in Baltimore we have the Harbor where there are paddle boats (they are romantic) or put-put golfing, take her to play laser tag perhaps (lots of laughs).

When you set up your date don't:

A) Ask any question in which an answer you don't want to hear is an option. Ask "yes" questions.
B) Take her to a movie. Movie theaters have sticky floors and you can't talk.
C) Take her to cheap diner.
D) Take her where there are loads of other guys she might talk to.
E) Go someplace where your attention might distracted from her. Don't talk too much to other guys and especially don't talk to other girls.

Go sell yourself, man! You're the best, brightest thing this girl's got! Believe it!

kittygirl
10-10-2006, 02:21 PM
Alright here. Pray about it, make sure it's not just a 'feeling', that you like other things about her than just her looks. Does she LOVE God? And I mean LOVE God?

Do you for that matter? Do you LOVE God?
I'm not talking about just going to youth group, or church, you have to get real with God.

Then, pray. It may work out. Alot of times, people have to learn things. It is a choice, whom you like. Not just 'fate', you have to grow even after you lay your heart out.
God puts those desires in your heart, because he wouldn't want you to be with someone you didn't like. That's the first step.
Discovering that you like them.

drumchick101
10-10-2006, 05:59 PM
I'm with Kittygirl...

You'll be shocked to find how much better you can love someone when you learn to love God. Separate from the social club of christianity and the unadulterated desire for God and nothing else. This is how we learn to put God first. I beleive the high school years are so important to finding out who you are in God (and even then, it's only the beginning).

And like Scott (Skyness) said...God will never steer you wrong, but you have to know how to hear Him first.

If she is the one, that's all there is to it and believe me, God won't let you loose your future wife because you were taking time to seek His will. If anything else, He will even better prepare the two of you.

><sarah><

skilletfreak101
10-21-2006, 09:32 PM
Okay, so a lot of my friends have been getting car issues. Like everywhere. I'm talkin' 5 cars need to be repaired or replaced.

... and why does it seem like kids are coming to the board for dating advice lately? Seasonal issues as well?
hehe...sorry...i'm just not in control of the situation...as somasoul says :-P

DarkestRose
10-22-2006, 05:04 AM
... and why does it seem like kids are coming to the board for dating advice lately? Seasonal issues as well?

There's a new idea for a forum! The Dating Advice and Relationships Forum. :D

skynes
10-22-2006, 06:04 AM
There's a new idea for a forum! The Dating Advice and Relationships Forum. :D

Lol and there's an idea for a template reply for every thread in that forum:


Pray about it and do nothing till God tells you to. ::]

Nedarbi
10-22-2006, 09:28 PM
yep, that's really good advice. i really like her but i don't know where that's going to get me if i ask her out or anything like that, because like i said before i don't really date because i don't want to have to worry about relationships or anything like that in this particular time in my life. but she just is always on my mind and alot of times i find myself daydreaming about her...it's pretty stupid and i'm praying for the faith to just let it go.


it looks to me like you have pretty much made up your mind on the situation and already know what you want to do. now the question is, what does god want you to do? i believe that this all comes down to the advice given in the beginning. sit down, pray to god, and wait until you know the answer he gives you.

i am 18 right now and am a few years ahead of you. if theres anything i can tell you about these years in high school, its that you should never make any decisions on your own. i dont want you turn a complex situation simple, but it really is simple. at this time your hormones are at maximum activeness and your reasoning can very often be flawed because of it. many underestimate the power of horomomes and think it can be controlled. thats probably why i always see people dating and other things in highschool. just be patient give the situation to god. he will know what to do with it.

You got questions because you aren't in control of the situation, and being a man is at the very least pretending to be in total control of everything.

I'm a sales person. My job is dating, it's wooing. I woo big smelly engineers and matinence guys all day long so they buy my stuff. Sure, these relationships I form aren't sexual in nature, but it's the same "game".

If you don't talk about your true feelings with her then you'll never get what you want. Go for it and don't give in. Take charge, don't her give her control, she doesn't want it. Say something akin to: "Hey, [girl's name], I want you to come with me to [event]."

Don't ask a question she can say no to. Don't ask "Hey, would you like to come with me to [awefully boring place?". Tell her what you're doing and take her. Take her some place cool like in Baltimore we have the Harbor where there are paddle boats (they are romantic) or put-put golfing, take her to play laser tag perhaps (lots of laughs).

i really disagree with your logic. its not about taking charge and being a man. sure it probably can work, but the way you enter a relationship can often define what you want to get out of the relationship.

its in gods hands. and its in his hands because you gave your life to him when you became a christian. faith is the key word here.

timmyrotter
10-24-2006, 12:49 AM
Faith without works is Dead

somasoul
10-25-2006, 11:18 AM
SkilletFreak,

What happened? Did you get a date yet, man? Did you give up? I want all the juicy gossip!

agent_c68
10-25-2006, 11:38 AM
Faith without works is Dead

would you mind explaining how that is relevant in this situation?

kittygirl
10-25-2006, 12:24 PM
you know what...just wait till after you turn 16.
make sure what you like about her isn't just frivolty, and looks, such as "Well, she's really funny, and hot."

What real love is is not feeling. It is not "What can you do for me?" but how you build each other up in Christ.

Do not start a relationship with someone who isn't in love with Jesus. Repeat:do not do it.
My dad wasn't a Christian, and alot of the problems in their marriage wouldn't have existed if he had put God first, rather than his drugs, or his job (yes, my dad was an addict)

As far as your personal life goes, you use your time wisely. Make it count. Don't hang with people that aren't going to lead you to God, or you lead them to God.

skilletfreak101
11-04-2006, 09:20 AM
thank you all for your wonderful advice. i've been praying abou it alot and a song that's really helped me through this is the song "Yours to Hold" by Skillet. it's like... if this person is the right person for me and I truly love her, then I will will wait on the Lord and I will be ready for her when she is ready for me.

somasoul
11-04-2006, 11:43 AM
A preist and a Rabbi go to boxing match. They sit down side by side and watch the boxers enter the ring. Just before the bell rings on boxer makes the sign of the cross on his.

The Rabbi asks the preist "What does that mean?"

"Nothing, if the man can't fight."



I guess, for me, (approaches theological recklessness here) is that sometimes God performs a miracle and has the shepard boy slay the giant, or makes the lame walk or provides a harvest when there was no rain. But more often than not a farmer that doesn't sow doesn't reap; a Noah that don't build finds himself drowning; A Gideon who doesn't ask men to follow him to battle winds up alone.

Half of life is waiting on God. The other half is letting God prepare you to make your own choices and decisions.

Tromos
11-04-2006, 06:31 PM
I guess, for me, (approaches theological recklessness here) is that sometimes God performs a miracle and has the shepard boy slay the giant, or makes the lame walk or provides a harvest when there was no rain. But more often than not a farmer that doesn't sow doesn't reap; a Noah that don't build finds himself drowning; A Gideon who doesn't ask men to follow him to battle winds up alone.

Half of life is waiting on God. The other half is letting God prepare you to make your own choices and decisions.

*thumbs up*

And according to Paul, the man who doesn't work, doesn't eat.

skilletfreak101
11-05-2006, 06:31 PM
A preist and a Rabbi go to boxing match. They sit down side by side and watch the boxers enter the ring. Just before the bell rings on boxer makes the sign of the cross on his.

The Rabbi asks the preist "What does that mean?"

"Nothing, if the man can't fight."



I guess, for me, (approaches theological recklessness here) is that sometimes God performs a miracle and has the shepard boy slay the giant, or makes the lame walk or provides a harvest when there was no rain. But more often than not a farmer that doesn't sow doesn't reap; a Noah that don't build finds himself drowning; A Gideon who doesn't ask men to follow him to battle winds up alone.

Half of life is waiting on God. The other half is letting God prepare you to make your own choices and decisions.
yeah i would ask her out or something when i turn 16, because then i can drive and that would make things easier since we live like a half hour apart from eachother. but see like half a year after i turn 16, she will be 18 and to me it seems pretty weird dating someone who is pretty much an adult while i'm still a teenager.

somasoul
11-07-2006, 03:31 AM
it seems pretty weird dating someone who is pretty much an adult while i'm still a teenager.


My wife is five years younger than me. It seems weird that while I was in the 10th grade she was in the 6th. That's totally absurd to think about. Evenn when we met she was 16 and I was 21. Even then it was weird. But as time goes on the gap doesn't seem so big.

If you have a concern don't let it be age. Let it be the fact that she might go off to college and leave you in dust.

Even then you are letting fear decide your fate. I don't cave in to fear and what-ifs in these types of situations. If you dig her, let her know and see what develops.

kittygirl
11-07-2006, 02:45 PM
Haha, I have no fear of that for you. If God can come back from the dead, bring people from the opposite ends of the earth together, heal leprosy, then He can definetly make it work out.

dawn of light
11-08-2006, 07:49 AM
My fiance is 4 1/2 years older than me. Age doesn't seem like such a big deal. I also know someone whose husband is six years younger than she is, so I hope you don't worry about the fact that she's older than you.

But the college thing is an issue. Just pray and don't do anything unless you feel like it's God's will for you.

Tromos
11-08-2006, 08:08 AM
And I would caution that the ages now make a much bigger difference than they will later. What's the difference between 30 and 28? Not much. How about 19 and 17? A lot more.

My experience was the other way. I was 18 and in college dating a 15-year-old high school junior. I couldn't be 18. I couldn't be in college. A situation like that will resolve itself to the lowest common denominator - the younger person. The older person will need to relate to the younger at the maturity level of the younger, or it will all fall apart. So the older person cannot grow or learn to adapt to their own life situation.

The academic, social, and psychological situations in high school and college are very different. High school is much more structured. There are disciplines in place for punishment if you skip class or break rules. There are no detentions in college. If you screw up, you fail and your money is wasted. No excuses and no bull about your self-esteem. It's a different world and the college student will need social situations that allow for the differences.

So call me a cynic or a skeptic or anything else you want, but my experience tells me that at the high school - college border, an age difference is a huge thing because the social settings are different. Just my painful experience, though. Your milage may vary.