Crazy4U
10-25-2006, 02:47 PM
i havent bin on here in a long time...mainly because ive battled with cutting, anorexia, and suicide.

cutting started about 4 months ago...i got adicted and couldnt stop. everyday id go in my room and cut both my arms 50+ times. id do it before i went to bed and wen i woke up and than several times in between.

anorexia started wen my sis took some pictures of me about 2 months ago and i thought i looked fat, but i only wieghed 98 pounds. i stopped eating and i would only drink mountain dew or other sodas. i lost 10 pounds within one week. i kept loosing more and more.

suicide started because i wanted to die, because i hated my life, my family, my friends, everything. i felt everyone was rejecting me. i tried killing myself more than 5 times within one month. i tried cutting my wrist, strangling myself, hanging myself, and suffocating myself. nothing seemed to work.

gothic...well i turned gothic in between all this...i totally was not good...i beleived in demons instead of God...i wore nothing but black. black lipstick/makeup, black cloths, black shoes, EVERYTHING! i cant say what all i did...because its not what i like to talk about...so plz just pray...cuz somethimes when i hav a bad day i want to go back to my old ways.

how i got over it? my parents/family didnt know about any of it. but one day someone called and asked for my mom. they told her that i was cutting and that i was suicidal and than they hung up. my mom hung up and we talked for a long time...and everything is great now. but its still hard for me to eat. but still my family DOES NOT know who called...only 4 ppl knew about my problems and it wasnt any of them...i thank God SO much...and its awesome!

Vegetarian? now that im starting to eat...i dont like to eat meat. i only eat Chicken...thats the only meat i eat. but its also very good. it dosent harm me...its just a way of eating certain things.....its not harming me so im happy!

many more things happend, but i cant remember every little thing!

PLEASE PRAY BECAUSE I STILL HAVE TEMPTATIONS FOR MY OLD HABITS! Thanks!

Sincerely,
Livs

pizza brain
10-25-2006, 04:49 PM
I can hardly imagine all of that happening scince you were last here...it musta hurt like heck! I'll definatly be praying for you!
God bless!

drumchick101
10-25-2006, 05:00 PM
Wow, that's amazing how you've turned it around! It breaks my heart that girls like you turn to the places you did, but society says it's okay and that's what they feed you. I will pray for you and your revolution.

><sarah><

alienyouth9292
10-25-2006, 06:23 PM
i am new to the popular things in this world...what exactly is cutting and what is it for?

aliengurl7
10-25-2006, 06:34 PM
i am new to the popular things in this world...what exactly is cutting and what is it for?

Its a form of self mutilation, its a unhealthy coping mechanism to help relieve and manage stress.

Im glad to hear your doing better Livvy. I'll be praying for you.

Crazy4U...Livvy
10-26-2006, 07:39 AM
o, yah! it hert like hell...(sorry)......my arms would bleed and sting and they would go numb...yah....it hurt....but im over it now...i havent done it for about a week and a half or somthing.....

(im going to town and i didnt hav time to log in...thats y my avatar and stuff isnt on...im on as a guest...got it? lol.)

*Livs*

Crazy4U
10-26-2006, 07:41 AM
yes, it hurt VERY badly...sometimes it hurt so bad i couldnt move/touch my arms...they would bleed and sting and go numb...it hurt...but i loved the feel of pain....but yah...im over it now.....but yah...Thanks God for that!
im still curious of WHO the HECK called my MOM!!!!!

Starbucks5721
10-26-2006, 11:33 AM
OH WOW

I will definitely pray for you, so so much! I deal with the leftovers of anorexia myself, so I hear you on that one!

Praise God someone called your mom. That was an angel for sure! :)

And gothic is cool, in terms of looks - as long as you aren't doing it to promote evil. Even John wears skulls and bondage :) It's one of my favorite things about him!

And hey, if you want some thoughts on fun veggie foods, talk to me! I eat a lot of vegetarian and organic, so I know some fun ways to make veggies yummy! LOL

I'm so glad that you have turned away from all of that. That takes a lot of stregnth to do, and I think its awesome!

m_money618
10-26-2006, 03:30 PM
i'm glad you're better now. i've gone through (some) of the same things and i know what it feels like when nobody cares. nobody knows what it's like til it happens to them. i am very happy to hear that you are doing better. remember, always always trust in God, keep leaning on Him, and He will help you through.

God Bless---

Sarah

TheFireBreathes
10-27-2006, 11:23 PM
yes, it hurt VERY badly...sometimes it hurt so bad i couldnt move/touch my arms...they would bleed and sting and go numb...it hurt...but i loved the feel of pain....but yah...im over it now.....but yah...Thanks God for that!
im still curious of WHO the HECK called my MOM!!!!!

Just think of where you might be without that phonecall...:)

love~addict
10-28-2006, 06:22 PM
i know how you feel...i went through all of that and more and still struggling through some of it now...my freinds think im anorixec in the head...{as one put it}and i just recently stopped cutting...but like you said when i have really bad days i go back to that...and its hard...im trying to stop...and im trying to work on it..i still think im fat and ugly...:(but my point to this {lol}was that i no how u feel and im praying for you:)

Maddog
10-28-2006, 08:55 PM
Yah I used to do all that..not the gothic
but the cutting, anorexia, bulimia, suicidal. ect.

Vuren
11-01-2006, 10:14 PM
I can understand a lot of what you say, unfortantly it is more wide spread then to just females, males use the same coping methods. Congradulations on over coming your personal deamons


edit: your website does not load on my computer, maybe the link is faulty?

kittygirl
11-02-2006, 12:00 PM
I was reading this thinking "That was me when I was 13."

Seriously, I did all of that:the cutting, anorexia, demonic encounters, etc.

The point was that God showed me that I was seeing myself, and destorying myself, because Satan wanted me destroyed. He also showed me the way I really am supposed to be, the way He sees me.

planet_kosmos
11-02-2006, 07:38 PM
I have not been through any of this stuff and I thank God for it. I'm still praying for you and hope you do not go back to your old ways.

kittygirl
11-04-2006, 12:20 PM
You know what God's been telling me to tell people:my story. I have this one scar that's about 2 1/2 in. long on my arm, and it's faded now. But whenever I see that, it's God's promise and reminder to me that you won't feel this way forever. God hurts with you, when you hurt.

Remember He was cut too.

Maddog
11-16-2006, 04:44 PM
i have 7 on my left arm.
around 2 inches each
had em for a year
still red and raised.
very visible.
Yes...whenever i see my scars. I remember...God has helped me thru so much
and that I dont have to cut myself anymore.
He took the cuts for me.

brittany
12-11-2006, 03:02 PM
I've been doing most of what all of you are talking about I'm trying to get over it I've been doing all of this and more since age eleven!!!

Crazy4U
12-16-2006, 07:27 AM
so i last time i cut was a weeks ago. i kinda started up AGAIN! but im always happy, but i read Psalms and im doing better! YAY! lol. so yah. im doing better! sooo yah, thx 4 the prayers and concerns!

m_money618
12-17-2006, 04:26 PM
I'm glad ur doing better:)

Aragornsgirl217
12-19-2006, 07:09 AM
Wow...Livvy, reading that, I was like "She's descibing me". I'm in recovery right now for Anorexia and even a little bit of Bulimia...and it started when I was 13 (almost 3 years ago. . .). I never cut, but I came mighty close. As for everything else, I'm in/have been in the same boat as you. That really must have been an angel that called your mom. . .who else might have known??

I'm praying for you constantly girl!! Thanks for sharing what's been going on!!!

~Nickie

theelectric3
12-19-2006, 03:19 PM
so i last time i cut was a weeks ago. i kinda started up AGAIN! but im always happy, but i read Psalms and im doing better! YAY! lol. so yah. im doing better! sooo yah, thx 4 the prayers and concerns!

so glad you are doing better! reading His word always ministers and comforts in the deepest parts.

i believe cutting has a lot about wanting control and not i depression alone.