lee
10-29-2006, 11:19 AM
ok,this bothers me everytime i meet people like this. people that hate everything about themself, they think they're fat, ugly, or don't think anything they do is good enough, the list can go on... i know a person who is going through this, and i love this person.. every night think about this person, and it just brings more pain to my heart...i am praying everynight, and devoting a lot of my time worrying about her(it's a girl). she hates herself, whichhurts because if she could see who she really is she wouldn't think that... she has turned into someone who she is not, i have not seen the real her in a long time... i believe this is a spiritual battle that she is in, and she has let the devil beat her down for over a year, and she yet to fight back...she does not see what is going on in the spiritual world, and that god is right there waiting for her to see him... i wish so much for her to see how beautiful she really is, and how she can glow when she smile and giggles.. she a beautiful heart, and i want to know that...she needs your prayers sooo badly.. she has to do this herself, all she has to do is to reach out to god.... i pray for her to brave, and to finally fight back to the demons who have told her the lies that she now believes... god loves her soo much and so do i......please pray for her......

~lee

planet_kosmos
10-29-2006, 11:46 AM
I wouldn't call them mean. At least they've never been mean to me. I've been praying for them for ages and ages and will continue to do so.

lee
10-29-2006, 12:19 PM
i ment to say "men and woman", not "mean", sorry.. it was suppossed to mean that what i'm talking about relates with men and woman.... i apologize again...

love~addict
10-29-2006, 12:54 PM
{u spelt clouds wrong..in the poem..}

kittygirl
10-29-2006, 01:27 PM
You know, you're right. People who believe that they're dirt are just believing lies, but only God can give you real worth. I think it's great that you see her for the way that God sees her, the way she's meant to be seen.

there is one thing I would like to touch on:appearence over heart. So many people in this country think that appearence is everything, yet they neglect their character, and treat others like dirt.

People need to take care of themselves, seeing them the way God does, which is destiny. And they need to treat others the way Jesus does.

You have a God shaped heart, Lee

DarkestRose
10-29-2006, 01:49 PM
It might be important to know why she feels the way she does about herself. Different experiences can soften a person's convictions of self worth over time.

BarlowgIRL
10-29-2006, 03:40 PM
my favorite, I say I'm fat and everyone yells at me telling me I'm not fat. Sorry pals but I AM fat. People need to get over themselves and realize that not everyone who thinks/knows they're fat is gonna become anorexic.

DarkestRose
10-29-2006, 06:41 PM
my favorite, I say I'm fat and everyone yells at me telling me I'm not fat. Sorry pals but I AM fat. People need to get over themselves and realize that not everyone who thinks/knows they're fat is gonna become anorexic.

Yeah. I saw your pic on your profile though and you are beautiful.

terrasin
10-29-2006, 07:41 PM
{u spelt clouds wrong..in the poem..}
(You spelled "you" wrong in your sentence) ;)

CJ

weebird20
10-30-2006, 05:28 AM
i think all girls/women struggle with those same issues...just some are more extreme than others....just keep praying Matt...

My fiance mentions this verse a lot...i think its very appropriate for you right now...

James 5:16
"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."

Keep praying...i will be too :)

Tromos
10-30-2006, 07:56 AM
I remember feeling a lot of this myself. I wish I could give you the magic formula to get out of it, but I never found it. Whether it was my size or my acne or my hair or my braces - there was always something "wrong" with me. And I was clearly not popular, which really only reinforced my opinion. I have learned a few things, though:

- People often treat you like there's something wrong with you because that's precisely the message you're sending them. They haven't decided that you're an outcast. You've been sending that message and they're just taking your word for it.

- Whether you're a boy or a girl, it's all about attitude. Looks play a part, but not even the most important part. I've seen any number of very fine-looking women with these very un-popular-looking guys. Why? Because of attitude. Works similarly for girls. I think girls are harder on other girls than guys are ever likely to be. But a girl that will look the guys in the eye, say what's on her mind, and not be intimidated is a psychological challenge to every man she meets.

I heard all this when I had my self-image problems too. And they all seemed like to much bunk. Probably because I didn't feel like I could transform myself into this positive-attitude, confident person being described. And I guess that was true. All you really need is one true friend, but even those seem to be hard to come by these days.

Yes, Matt, continue to pray. These days between 12 and 20 really define your life more than you know. Many adults will say stupid things like "You don't know what real stress is" and "It's just a phase, you'll get over it." But that's because they want to forget their own struggles. In fact, the majority of successful people I've met have become successful because they've dedicated their lives to fighting the struggles of their adolescence. Just look at some great Christian band leads (John Cooper, Joseph Rojas, Vince Lichlyter). Sadly, these struggles are necessary because God doesn't create great servants for His kingdom, he builds them. And the building hurts.

love~addict
10-30-2006, 12:46 PM
(You spelled "you" wrong in your sentence) ;)

CJ


nee:P:Plol

kittygirl
10-30-2006, 12:51 PM
See...if you feel hurt in your heart, tell God. He's the one who needs to remove those thorns. At times, it helps to tell other people whom you trust that you feel insecure. My friend (who will never see this, because she doesn't know I go on here)has been going through something like that for a LONG time. I've been through it before too, thinking I was fat, ugly, strange, etc.

And then I realized...it's not just me, and it's not from God. I realized that everyone feels that way, it's a matter of accepting it as truth.

pizza brain
10-30-2006, 04:59 PM
I know what your talking about dude alot of my friends have/had this and bugs the snot outa me when they call themselves worthless :(

DarkestRose
10-30-2006, 05:22 PM
I can see how it would be sad to hear your friend beating up on themself all the time, but I think it would help to really empathize since I don't think that they want to feel worthless.

Vuren
11-01-2006, 07:32 PM
Well Lee, when this first started to happen had anything big just happened? Something like her parents getting a divorce, A long term relationship ending or an abusive relationship? Many times some of the causes is that someone that they hold dear starts to tell them these things(especially prevelant in children), then they start to believe them after a while and it becomes a negitive feed back loop. One of the things i'd do is talk to her and ask her why she says what she does, and try to work with her and maybe even talk to a professional because many times they are better skilled in giving ways to cope then you or i will be.

as~i~lay~dying
11-14-2006, 08:10 PM
Ok honestly, I have no sympathy for people like that. I mean they really need to get off themselves. I've come to realize many people of this world could care less about how you look, it's your personality that draws people to or away from you.

DarkestRose
11-15-2006, 07:22 AM
While I understand the frutration that people overwhelmed with insecurity bring, I think having a "get off yourself" attitude, though true, would probably just turn them off and then they lose potential support.

I think it is important to meet people where they are at, even when they seem to be really self-absorbed. There could come a paradigm of realizing that they could be struggling with a verbally abusive relationship or have gone through something and need support more than judgment. I mean, if someone is always told negative things about themself, some else saying "get over yourself" could do more harm than good in the long run.

kittygirl
11-16-2006, 12:16 PM
One of the things i'd do is talk to her and ask her why she says what she does, and try to work with her and maybe even talk to a professional because many times they are better skilled in giving ways to cope then you or i will be.

The only thing I can say in reply to this is...a professional isn't always the solution for everything. Sometimes, people want just to be listened to. It's like saying that you are not 'qualified.' When in fact, you are qualified, because you are her friend. Irregardless of if someone is a 'professional', it doesn't mean they've earned a place in someone's heart. They probably have never even met her before...


It's between her and God...it's not always what has happened to you(although that affects your life greatly)some things are just lies. Just lies. There's nothing wrong with her, and you are certainly qualified.

newday_7
11-20-2006, 10:46 PM
well no professionals aren't always the solution, and yes you may be qualified. That doesn't mean you should eliminate the choice of seeking help from a professional. Also the fact that a professional could help, should not make you eliminate the choice of trying to help yourself. Everybody is different so even if you've met a thousand people with these same symptoms doesn't mean that they'll all need the same thing to get better or that they're all like that for the same reason.