11-02-2006, 12:26 PM
This is not that big of a deal in the broad scheme of things, but I need some prayer right now. You see...my boyfriend procrastinates. Alot. It drives me and everyone else crazy.
But he isn't scheduled very well, and I need for him to be dependable, and stable in that way. Basically, I don't know if you have any advice on how I could help motivate him, or anything. But ultimately, it's between him and God.
dawn of light
11-02-2006, 03:01 PM
But ultimately, it's between him and God.
Yeah, you're right. You won't be able to motivate him, that's something I think he'll need to do for himself. You can encourage him though. Guys love encouragement, especially from someone who cares about them.
Don't pressure him, just talk to him, if you need to, about why you think this is something he needs to change. Remember to always let him know how much you respect him.
11-02-2006, 04:22 PM
That's why I asked for advice, because it stresses him out, but I want to respect him too. I am not his mother
11-02-2006, 04:52 PM
This is probably not the advice that you are hoping for, but here's what I think:
I think some people were born like that. I think there are things that can help. (I'm like your boyfriend, and I've read alot of self-help books on time management and procrastinating, which have helped, but I'm not "cured".) But, I also think that you are going to have to accept some of that as being his personality.
My husband is the opposite of me. If we are not 30 min early, he thinks we are late. If I'm 30 min late, I'm doing good! My husband has learned to help me more with things that he can control (like getting the kids ready), he has learned to not get so upset about being late, and, most importantly, he always tells me we have to be somewhere earlier than we really have to be there!;D
11-03-2006, 01:54 PM
You know what...you're right. There is nothing wrong with him, and he IS trying to be a better time magager, and he is a VERY very hard worker.
11-06-2006, 04:18 AM
heehee Lisa you sound like me and Scott :P im almost always late...no matter how much i try to be on time...and Scott is always early ::]
i think your right about some of it just being part of your personality...just as some people are early for everything and are extremely tidy others are late and quite messy...im the messy type :P
a litte tip though that may help Rachael....when trying to movitate someone to do something use positive words...like when i need to draw it really helps if Scott shares some ideas with me and maybe even reminds me about a good drawing i did in the past...sort of reminding me that i've done something similar before and it really isnt that hard and that i can do it...
also breaking things up to make them seem less like big jobs...but smaller more managable jobs...making a timetable can help too...
but most importantly pray...and not just for him...but for yourself and how you deal with his procrastination...
11-06-2006, 09:00 AM
i have gone through some major motivational issues... the best advice i can give you aside from praying is to always be encouraging and patient. when people are impatient with me, i feel like i am constantly disappointing everyone & i'll never be able to improve. it also makes me more stressed out and makes it even harder to get things done. never point out faults, except for to say "okay this is what you did today, perhaps if you tried doing this it might help you" but do it in a LOVING way, even pray before saying anything that your words will be helpful and not hurtful. point him toward God.
maybe there is something in his life that is a source of instability that needs to be worked through? for me it was the fact that i lived in two houses and constantly had to go back and forth and re-adjust my life. i was so disorganized and procrastinated & forgot things constantly. but now i am in college living in one place without my parents to nag me and i am doing sooo much better. still room for improvement, but things are getting much better. but if that is the case, maybe you could help him work through whatever the problem may be or find a solution and pray about it.
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