as~i~lay~dying
11-10-2006, 08:18 PM
College is coming up ... next year I have got to apply for scholerships and all that jazz ... well I finally decided where I want to go and what I want to study. The plan is to go to Univ. of alaska anchorage. About 7 hours away from home and to study psycology. Why there? Well, I want to get away, but be close enough to where I can come home for the weekend if I need to. The problem??? My parents. They don't want me going to a secular college where the believe they will destroy what little faith I have left. Maybe they have a goood reason to be worried, but shouldnt it be my decision? They won't pay for it if I go there, so I would be supporting myself, but they keep giving me all this crap about it ... it's destroying us, this along with other things, so my question, has anyone ever dealt with this that could give me good advice?

DarkestRose
11-10-2006, 08:25 PM
Well, the best thing to do would be to pray about it.

I personally do not believe that going to a secular college necessarily is damaging to ones faith. There are a lot of schools that teach contrary to what God teaches, but I think that it is possible to go to a college and hear those beliefs without falling away. If you feel like going there really would be harmful to your faith though, you might want to consider going somewhere else.

Really, just pray about it and see what God says.

Tromos
11-11-2006, 06:12 AM
I would say that the danger would be greater going to a religious college that didn't agree with your current doctrine. For instance, if you're Methodist and went to a Seventh-Day Adventist college. Or if you're Catholic and went to a Mormon college.

A secular college won't tryto teach you anything that goes against your beliefs (except evolution). And a secular college is likely to have lots of different groups you could join. Yes, they will have a gay/lesbian group, but they will also have a Christians on Campus or something similar.

In the end, what you do when you're there is about your choices.

On the other hand, with respect to your parents, it's their money and they have every right to decide when and how they spend it.

My personal experience: 2 years at a Catholic university (Notre Dame), 2 years at a Lutheran university (Concordia), and 6 years at a secular university (Indiana). The most damaging of the 3 was Notre Dame (and I was Catholic at the time!). The most upbuilding was Concordia. But I finally got my degree from Indiana - which provided me an education and had no effect on my faith at all (one way or the other).

skynes
11-11-2006, 07:46 AM
They don't want me going to a secular college where the believe they will destroy what little faith I have left. Maybe they have a goood reason to be worried, but shouldnt it be my decision? They won't pay for it if I go there, so I would be supporting myself, but they keep giving me all this crap about it ... it's destroying us, this along with other things, so my question, has anyone ever dealt with this that could give me good advice?


As the Bible says: The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But he who heeds counsel is wise.

Listen to your parents counsel and consider "Is there something truthful to what they say?"

Even if you find the answer is 'no there is nothing truthful in it', it'll still only benefit you to consider it.

Have you prayed about where to go and what to do? You didn't say if you have or not.

I personally do not believe that going to a secular college necessarily is damaging to ones faith.

Depends on the subject. Some subjects (Philosophy, Sciences, Sociology) are riddled with anti-God nonsense.

skilletfreak101
11-11-2006, 07:46 AM
yeah to be honest, "christian" colleges can be just as bad, if not worse than secular colleges.

Nedarbi
11-11-2006, 10:25 PM
yes but the advanted to a christian college is that you learn to be a better christian from a positive atmosphere. being in a negative atmosphere can be more damaging that some think. i personally find my high scholl to be very negative for me. i am surrounded by smokers, potheads, bullies, and constant swearing in every combination possible. i find my school very sinful. and it's hard to cope with. i dont do any of those things but it is easy to become manipulated by it. a couple times i found myself starting to accept these things as a way of life. and i started to lose track of my faith.

anyway back to the point, it all comes down to what is best for you but also what god thinks is best for you. my personal opinion says that i would listen to the words your parents said. because one way god speaks to you is though those that care about you and your well being.

NightCrawler
11-12-2006, 04:33 PM
I personally do not believe that going to a secular college necessarily is damaging to ones faith. There are a lot of schools that teach contrary to what God teaches, but I think that it is possible to go to a college and hear those beliefs without falling away.
I am stronger than I was in Highschool. I am in my third year at a very secular, liberal school.

NightCrawler
11-12-2006, 04:36 PM
Depends on the subject. Some subjects (Philosophy, Sciences, Sociology) are riddled with anti-God nonsense.

Psychology Philisophy double-major.

I love understanding why and why not to believe in God. I am stronger because of it. For example, I now know more arguments for and against God's existence than ever before, and I'd argue that I know more than most of my friends concerning that subject. I know how to defend my faith without the Bible being the basis of the argument, which before I could not. I prefer to argue with the assumption that the Bible is right, however.

as~i~lay~dying
11-13-2006, 08:58 PM
Psychology Philisophy double-major.

.

whooa sweet! That's what I am going for (psychology) ... well thanks guys. Pointed out some good stuff to discuss with my parents, I appreciate it.
:afro:

NightCrawler
11-14-2006, 05:55 AM
Well, the best thing to do would be to pray about it.

I personally do not believe that going to a secular college necessarily is damaging to ones faith. There are a lot of schools that teach contrary to what God teaches, but I think that it is possible to go to a college and hear those beliefs without falling away. If you feel like going there really would be harmful to your faith though, you might want to consider going somewhere else.

Really, just pray about it and see what God says.

I'd like to rehash this.

If you go to a secular college, No, it does not necessarily mean death to faith. Myself for example, proves at least one case otherwise.

However, secular schools have done a good job at systematically puting in every subject of study (probably even including business) something anti-God, anti-religion, anti-faith, pro-evolution, or pro-liberal material.

So, how much faith do you have? Faith is created by risk, the more risk, the more faith -- IF you overcome. If you cannot overcome attacks on all side without some very fundamental, unshakeable beliefs, don't even bother.

I thought I had very fundamental, unshakeable beliefs, and it was indeed hard. But I overcame.

Tromos
11-14-2006, 07:58 AM
. . .or pro-liberal material.


And yet, in my experience, the most liberal profesors can be found in the philosophy and political science departments of the Jesuit universities.

Odd.

NightCrawler
11-14-2006, 08:09 AM
And yet, in my experience, the most liberal profesors can be found in the philosophy and political science departments of the Jesuit universities.

Odd.
Oh yeah, this reminds me. Disclaimer: Liberalism isn't necessarily bad. I just find that liberal views also come with other baggage which can really challenge one's faith.

Tromos
11-14-2006, 08:20 AM
I just find that liberal views also come with other baggage which can really challenge one's faith.

Nicely put ;)

breakthesilence
11-14-2006, 02:13 PM
just make sure you are seeking God. i had my heart set on going to wheaton, but my parents wouldn't let me go there for reasons that made me even more upset at them. but then i ended up at carthage and i know more than anything this is where God wanted me to be. so even though my parents wer against what i wanted, it really ended up being part of God's will. and then i found out wheaton really pushes evolution which was the whole reason i had wnated to go to a christian school in the first place--so i could learn about science from a God-inclusive perspective, as well as to be surrounded by other believers--while here God is still teaching me so much even in my classes.

drumchick101
11-14-2006, 04:17 PM
Again...pray about it

See, everyone's path is different and no one (including yourself) has any idea what God's going to do next. Things are so often the opposite of what they seem. God has a specific path out there just for you and only He knows what thay entails. Either one can be damaging, but it's the wrong one for you right now that will be damaging.

My two cents would be to go for the christian college with a good denominational basis, because (although you will find a whole bunch of fake christians there) the atmosphere would cater to your faith. And who knows....maybe you'll switch to a missionary major or something ;). Ok, ok....never mind ;D

Once again...I don't know what God wants for you.

><sarah><

as~i~lay~dying
11-14-2006, 08:02 PM
Thanks ... so honestly at this point I am not exactly seeking Gods voice in this issue. I am making my own decisions, and my parents cannot decide which college I will be going to, it is MY decision. So basically breaking this to my parents, not cool but they've got to deal with it right? So I am just trying to get advice in how to make it easier?

DarkestRose
11-15-2006, 09:17 AM
You may be making your decision, but have you sought God's will first?

dawn of light
11-15-2006, 09:54 AM
I think she meant that no she's not seeking God's will, she's doing what she wants to do. (correct me if I'm wrong)

drumchick101
11-15-2006, 12:27 PM
I am not exactly seeking Gods voice in this issue.

Do you associate God's will with your parent's will? I mean, from my experience, God has always known more than I have. But then again, if you are not seeking God then perhaps you don't know that yet, & you'll learn...trust me.

Although it sounds like a typo, maybe you meant that you are seeking God. But if you're trying to find what decisions you can make on you own without God (to declare you independence), here's a verse for ya....

Each time he [God] said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
2 Corinth 12:9

This is about the thorn in Paul's flesh. I encourage you to read from the beginning of ch 12 to verse 10. The point I'm trying to make is that when we think that we are strong and have it put together, is usually when we go the opposite of where God wants us because we find little reason to rely on Him.

Yes, this is your choice, but I encourage you to choose God's choice. It may be the same or different from your parents, but choose it because it's God's choice, not to try and proove anything.

><sarah><

Isildur9473
11-15-2006, 09:25 PM
I have some friends that are fairly devout Christians. They attend the University of Idaho in the northern part of the state. For those of you who aren't familiar with that campus, there's a large amount of drinking and other questionable activities that happen there on a day-to-day basis. For example, we were walking around downtown at about 2:30 in the morning, and there were more drunk people there than at a New Year's Eve party full of drunks.

Anyway, the point is you can stay away from a lot of the stuff you find immoral or disagreeable without much effort. All you have to do is room with someone that shares your beliefs, and you should be OK for the most part. Most dorms don't allow alcohol, and have very stiff punishment for people that break that rule. Furthermore, there were plenty of small Christian groups that met all over the place that seemed to be doing quite well. In the dorm I stayed in, they had flyer's for a couple of different worship services.

If I were you, and I wanted to preserve my walk with the Lord, you can still do it by attending a secular university. I would seriously consider one since the larger ones usually have a very diverse range of topics you can study.

as~i~lay~dying
11-18-2006, 12:00 PM
Although it sounds like a typo, maybe you meant that you are seeking God.



No, it was not a typo. God and I arent exactly on the up and up right now.

as~i~lay~dying
11-18-2006, 12:06 PM
I have some friends that are fairly devout Christians. They attend the University of Idaho in the northern part of the state. For those of you who aren't familiar with that campus, there's a large amount of drinking and other questionable activities that happen there on a day-to-day basis. For example, we were walking around downtown at about 2:30 in the morning, and there were more drunk people there than at a New Year's Eve party full of drunks.

Anyway, the point is you can stay away from a lot of the stuff you find immoral or disagreeable without much effort. All you have to do is room with someone that shares your beliefs, and you should be OK for the most part. Most dorms don't allow alcohol, and have very stiff punishment for people that break that rule. Furthermore, there were plenty of small Christian groups that met all over the place that seemed to be doing quite well. In the dorm I stayed in, they had flyer's for a couple of different worship services.

If I were you, and I wanted to preserve my walk with the Lord, you can still do it by attending a secular university. I would seriously consider one since the larger ones usually have a very diverse range of topics you can study.

Hey, I didnt know you still posted on here ... cool. Anyways, I totally agree with you. If I really didn't want to get into that stuff I don't have to. They are just so religious, they think noone can stand strong through those kind of temptations. And they see how I am now, they get worried that I will skrew up my life. But hey its my life to skrew up! (Not that I plan on skrewing up)

skynes
11-18-2006, 12:42 PM
No, it was not a typo. God and I arent exactly on the up and up right now.

Fix that first, then worry about College.

That's probably the single best advice anyone can give you right now.

as~i~lay~dying
11-18-2006, 01:05 PM
Fix that first, then worry about College.

That's probably the single best advice anyone can give you right now.

Thanks, but uh, I don't plan on fixing it. Not until I am living on my own. I have my reasons ...

drumchick101
11-18-2006, 01:52 PM
I don't really want to jump on you, but since you went to us (a christian forum) I supose this will be appropirate, although I probobly will get jumped on for saying this.

Everything here will burn. The only things that will not are the things of God. Materials, money, prestige, worldy power will all burn at the end of time and cease to exist (this includes your and your parents' oppinions). Just don't forget, what will be left? I encourage you to ask yourself what will be left of you when all we see no longer exists.

Although all things one Earth are certainly not pointless, it is only 3 things will last: the heart behind what you do, the hearts/souls that are affected by what you do, and how the heart of God was affected by what you did.

I pray that you and God can fix your relationship. There is nothing you can do that will not make Him not think about you every moment that you are gone. He loves you more than life, whether you do or not. Oh, and if you look over your sholder, you may discover that He's been standing there the whole time.

><sarah><

SIDE NOTE:

Hey, I didnt know you still posted on here ... cool.

ya me neither, I voted for you for "most missed"

skynes
11-19-2006, 04:40 AM
Proverbs 16:9 "A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps. "

God's gonna get His say in what you do like it or not ;)


You'll like it not now, but when you get things fixed, you'll like it lots.

as~i~lay~dying
11-22-2006, 01:02 PM
Oh that makes me feel better *sarcasticly*

drumchick101
11-22-2006, 04:59 PM
Well, since you did come to a christian forum, you expected to hear the chirstian response, right (at least I hope you did)? I suppose my advice was kind harsh when I re-read it, but I don't take it back, I meant it. The good life is not the easy life.

I don't want to discourage you, or make you feel like a heathen (I hope I didn't by my remarks), however, I'm not just going to say that everything will be ok. I mean, it probobly will, but don't you want better than ok?

"This is the good life, I've lost everything I could ever hope, ever dream of."
-Audio Adrenaline

I've found this to be true because real are the things we cannot see. However, I hope that quote isn't discouraging to you, as it may be before you truly begin to understand the sheer marvel that this statement holds. But after you understand it, you begin to hold the marvel itself and having it in your pocket helps you walk in a much different light. It's really a beautiful thing.

><sarah><

as~i~lay~dying
11-22-2006, 08:43 PM
I have high hopes and dreams, nothing you can say would discourage me. (being honest, not hurtful ;) I relaize all of the stuff you are saying is true, but I just dont really care at this point ya know? I have plans, goals, I am not going to let anything get in my way. God just doesnt have a place in that at this moment.

DarkestRose
11-23-2006, 11:14 AM
Don't you think He kinda feels left out though? It's like how God told Abraham that he would have a son, but Abraham tried to do God's work for Him and Ishmael was born. But it was Isaac that God would provide for Abraham.

Obedience to God's purpose is important. Jesus says that if we love Him, we'll obey His commands. And God says that He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future. God has good works planned out for you to do and He is just waiting to bless you with it.

The plan may be to attend that college and study psychology. It may be something else. But you really should pray about it since, if you're paying for college yourself, you may be financially in a situation where you need God.

as~i~lay~dying
11-25-2006, 07:34 PM
Don't you think He kinda feels left out though? It's like how God told Abraham that he would have a son, but Abraham tried to do God's work for Him and Ishmael was born. But it was Isaac that God would provide for Abraham.

Obedience to God's purpose is important. Jesus says that if we love Him, we'll obey His commands. And God says that He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future. God has good works planned out for you to do and He is just waiting to bless you with it.

The plan may be to attend that college and study psychology. It may be something else. But you really should pray about it since, if you're paying for college yourself, you may be financially in a situation where you need God.


I am not exactly interested in what God wants at this point. I am kinda angry with Him right now ... but that is another story.

skynes
11-26-2006, 05:14 AM
I am not exactly interested in what God wants at this point. I am kinda angry with Him right now ... but that is another story.

Do tell...

DarkestRose
11-26-2006, 07:37 AM
What I don't really know if it matters why, she's mad at God. The point is that she is. I would recommend dealing with that in the same way that one would deal with being angry at any friend: just tell God you're angry, tell Him why, tell Him everything you're feeling. Just be honest.

as~i~lay~dying
11-26-2006, 03:23 PM
Do tell...

No offense, but I'd really rather not.