My friend *Rachael* is dating this guy she knows who is unsaved. I talked to her a little a bit about it, but she feels he may get saved soon b/c he always mention to her about going to church with her. Honestly, I don't really know what to say.

I'm afraid that what I could say she'd just avoid me and I'd be out on a friend. I just feel half the stuff I say she just takes with a grain of salt. I dunno if scripture would be good or not, cuz she'll just end up saying "he's not saved yet, but he could be soon" thinking she can change him.

If I know one thing, I know spouses can't changed their spouse. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. But like they say "love is blind" and I just pray that hopefully the blinders will be taken off before she does something she regrets. If you guys can, please just pray for her that she'll make the right decision.

-J

I know of a girl, who used to baby sit me when I was young, who married someone who was only posing to be a christian. He was probably never saved and just did the church thing so that she would marry him. the day after they got married he said that he would not be going to church anymore. As a friend, tell her that she sould be careful about his reasons for going to church. If he is just doing it because that is the condition that she will continue to date him, he will put that "christian" mask on and act as if he were a christian. Yet he may genuinely want to be a christian and his relationship with her is either coincidental or encouraged him to procede.
I don't know the guy personally so I cannot say if he is going to bring her down or not. I would try to be a friend who lets her know if he is truely living the life or just wearing a mask.

i have a friend, Nick, who was an atheist. i know him through a couple of other friends of mine. he started coming to my Bible study because a girl he liked went. after coming a while, he got saved. (ok, so our mutual friends had been working on him a while, but who knows if he'd have gotten saved if he hadn't come to the Bible study a couple times).

i say this because you never know how God is going to work. BUT don't try to "date people into Heaven." in the situation Nick was in, he never went out on date with the girl he liked (i don't think they have as yet, or if they even will). but she wouldn't even think of it because he wasn't a Christian.

all that to say, "dating for Christ" doesn't usually work. when it does, you have to watch that the person who got saved doesn't fall away once the relationship is over.

This is actually one of the most common things I get as a youth pastor. I always have people coming to me thinking they are the smartest people in the world because they think they found a way they can date that hot guy/girl...

First of all, you know my opinions on dating to begin with. It's a stupid thing that causes only pain in the end. But anyway, someone comes up to me and says they have just started dating soandso who isn't a Xian. but they think they can suddenly turn him/her into one if they just spend enough time together.

More often than not, the Xian falls into the trap of doing things they end up regretting, falling away from Christ, and then getting dumped by the person because he/she got what they wanted, now are on to the next person. It's just a bad idea to be with someone who isn't of the same beliefs.

CJ

I agree. I think the best is to stay friends until another person can see a change in the person's life. The other person should be a friend, but he/she must be older and have a relationship with God already.

(I say other person cause we tend to get subjective in a relationship, and another persons view is usually more objective) But that's my 4 cents