02-28-2007, 06:56 PM
I'm new here but I saw this and I realized I really need help. Me and my girlfriend have been getting really close to each other and we already broke the boundary we had set (yea we went all the way). Anyway I finally said I don't want this for us and I gave it all up this last Sunday while still keeping us together. Things have been tough lately and I am really tempted to go down to her house tonight and I would really like some help if anyone is there... I really need God to humble me on this one and give me strength.

Does anyone have any advice on how to not be so tempted (Skillet's new album certainly helps :P ).

03-01-2007, 06:44 PM
you are probably always going to be tempted, but God says he will not allow you to be tempted more than what you can handle (1 Corinthians 10:13 is a good verse). Be careful of situations you are putting yourself into, try to avoid situations where it will be easy to go to far (ie parents not home and being alone). Pray and ask God for strength in your times of temptaion, he will help you bear it. I'll be prayin for ya! God Bless

03-02-2007, 03:55 AM
This temptation is but one branch of a larger tree called lust.

The only way you'll beat that temptation is kill lust at its very root. That means controlling your thoughts and what you think about, controlling where you place your eyes (checking out girls walking up the street is a no no).

Placing God as your top priority is a definite.

If you don't pray and read together with your gf, then start doing it. When temptation hits, read and pray. When you're first together, read and pray.

You need to be willing to go above and beyond the call of duty to beat it.

dawn of light
03-02-2007, 08:10 AM
If you don't pray and read together with your gf, then start doing it. When temptation hits, read and pray. When you're first together, read and pray.
Good advice Skynes. But be careful of where and in what situation you read and pray. Praying together can be such an intimate thing and afterwards you're going to feel a lot closer to her. And when you feel really close and intimate with each other, it'll come very naturally to be close and intimate with her in other ways too. One of the pastors at my church said that he's heard of more couples who have had sex right after a really intimate prayer time than anything else. (He counsels more young couples in our church than any other pastor).

My advice to you is this:
Don't allow yourself to be in a situation where it's possible to go too far.
Don't even step foot in each other's room, in fact avoid being alone in a house or apartment together.
Go on dates in public.
If you want to talk to her alone, go out for coffee or go for a walk in the park. Go for a drive, but don't park the car and talk.
Ask someone to hold both of you accountable. It doesn't really matter who it is, it could be a pastor, parent, friend, etc. But you should choose someone who isn't currently struggling with the same thing and someone who you can open up and talk to.

Having sex before marriage often comes with a lot of shame. Make sure you deal with it with God on your own. Forgive each other. Forgive yourselves. This will ruin your relationship if you don't deal with it correctly.

And one last thing. Move on. What's done is done and you can't change the past. Repent and God won't hold you accountable to your sin any more. This won't ruin your life and it won't ruin your chances of having a good marriage in the future.

registered user
03-02-2007, 07:48 PM
I'll be praying for you two.
I really want to thank you for posting this. It gave me the motivation to do something I sould've a while ago.

03-03-2007, 01:36 PM
welcome to the boards.
does your girlfriend understand how you are feeling? is she helping you at all to maintain this goal? or if you went to her house tonight would she let it go again?

because sometimes the best way to resist temptation is to cut off ties with what tempts you. if she isn't going to support you in your decision, then my advice is to end the relationship.

forever? not necessarily. at least to give you time to sort through your emotions and feelings, give her time to think things through (all the while both of you drawing closer to Christ) - then, if you both feel you want to continue the relationship then ok. but make it clear where the lines are and never put yourself in a position where the temptation will come to cross it yet again.

and make a commitment to keep each other accountable in that (and have others outside the relationship whom you both respect who can keep you both accountable... as individuals and as a couple).

too often once you say "yes" once, it makes it all the more easier to say "yes" another time, etc. so once your mind is made up - be firm.

i admire you for realizing the wrong and desiring to do the right thing - respect you and your girlfriend. to respect the relationship and marriage (yes, actions effect a lot).

be encouraged that God always a way out for us if we want to take it. it's our choice.