03-27-2007, 11:34 AM
Tell me what u think. Critize all u want ^_^
I have written these over 2 years.

Part One
Screeching whispers in the silence of the night,
All that we can see is the darkness of our blight,
As dead trees mourn and weep, we can not find any sleep,
We have fallacy and lies being forced into our minds so hollow,
All we can hear, we see its dark stare, this is the scream of the shadow,
The cold-hearted sinner is like the bitterest of winters.
The shadow’s horrors bury deep into our soul,
And we know that our oppressed minds are taking the toll,
In the dim streets there are no smiles, grim faces go for miles,
How can we know from right and wrong? And how once again can we trust?
Our dreams and fading hopes are being obliterated into the dust,
Fear itself manifests into our marrow, this fear is the scream of a shadow.


Black mirror nailed to my hearts wall,
Your deceit and malice will be my fall,
I cannot stop the creature that dwells within,
This creature of lies brings needless emotion,
What was the purpose of worry and insecurity?
When it was just my emotions deceiving me,
I have given my destructive creature breath,
It has given me the black rose of death.


Our Fortress falls and we are shown who we are,
Standing in the battle field with help so far,
We are cowards in the face of our emotional life,
Deception stabs at your heart with its poisoned knife,
Crying to nothing and setting a flame your life’s goal,
While your emotions consumes your soul,
There is no where to run when self-pity has its hold,
Fight the battle in this world so cold.

I found myself in a dark place ,
Where there is not a way of escape,
I became numb to my emotions,
Because of personal tribulations,
I rest in this Valley hoping to be broken,
I wait for death to come to save me from sin.

Battles have been fought in this Valley ,
I can still hear the fallen souls cry,
Crying out for a taste redemption,
But not knowing they caused self-destruction,
I have become anew through being forsaken,
My mind’s eye has awaken.
(Song Lyrics)
These hands of mine are causing strife,
Empty are my eyes, as empty as my life,
Is there nothing more than agony?
Fear enters my mind so easily,
The road is meaningless to walk when I have nothing.

Fearing of what I have become,
(The Catalyst of my Iniquities)
Can I free myself from this creature?
(The Catalyst of my Iniquities)
I have brought this scourge upon us all,
I am the catalyst of my own fall!

Will there be a hero to save me from myself?
I can see all of my sins on my black shelf,
Time has a grasp on my weary soul,
Evil laughs at my suffering I was its personal tool.
I need a liberation from my catalyst.

Falling into myself were nothing resides,
Tears are not a factor in my life,
(Cold hearted to the bitter end)
Condemned by my own actions
(The way of peace is not known)
I am the catalyst of iniquities !

If you like them I'll post some more.

the rocker
03-27-2007, 01:45 PM
Wow, these are good. I like the song lyrics and Emotional Coward a lot. I've never been a huge fan of a lot of rhyming, though [some is obviously good] but these are good. More would be cool.

I Bite
03-27-2007, 05:21 PM
i don't know too much about writing lyrics and poems, so this is a rather uninformed opinion...but i like them a lot.

03-27-2007, 05:28 PM
I rest in this Valley hoping to be broken,
I wait for death to come to save me from sin.

what exactly does this mean???

03-27-2007, 07:22 PM
Just so ya know there is a poem thread...

03-28-2007, 08:18 AM
I thank you for your comments.

I rest in this Valley hoping to be broken,
I wait for death to come to save me from sin.

The 1st line is speaking about being broken so that we can be totaly relient on christ.
The 2nd line is talking about the only way we truly can be free from all sin is to die and to live with Jesus christ in heaven.

I Bite
03-28-2007, 10:58 AM
Just so ya know there is a poem thread...

where is it? cuz i'm only finding a thread for lyrics

the rocker
03-28-2007, 06:16 PM
If you put Poem Thread in the search engine it comes up.

I Bite
03-28-2007, 08:30 PM
yah...i so knew that


03-29-2007, 08:16 AM
well here is some more poetry and thats all i got for now.ENCASED IN SORROW

Encased in your own self-inflicted sorrow,
Not knowing if you are going to see tomorrow,
The evil that wanders torments you with its shadow,
You think the only way of true escape is torturous pain,
Crying, forgetting your purpose, almost becoming insane,
Agony is on the doorstep of your soul,
Taking what to its pleases leaving you with a empty hole
Suffering every waking moment,
Your fears and tears are singing your personal lament,
Left as one betrayed and lying on the ground to die,
Thinking no one is there for you, that is a lie,
Fight until there is nothing else in sight,
Love sorrow no more , become peaceful in the beauty of star filled night.


Lay to rest now the hearts of bondage,
Sleep forever in the quiet of the shadows,
Be still the people of many sorrows,
Do not fear about tomorrow,
Have peace, souls of the dying persecuted,
Be the martyr of the dreams that have lasted,
Go through darkness to find light,
Have rest in the comfort of the eternal night.

Critize all you want. They are not the greatest of my poems but ah well. If u want the meaning of the poem just ask.

04-01-2007, 06:43 PM
Just so ya know there is a poem thread...
But he posted lyrics as well.

The Poem Thread is for poems, not lyrics, so if this thread went in there, it would be out of place.

The mods are still trying to decide how to work The Studio: if people get their own threads, if we group things together by genre... So far, we're "playing it where it lies."

04-05-2007, 11:28 AM
kk i have another poem, this one is about more of logic and philosphies. Tell me what u think( this one doent rhyme)

Confined Reality

A valley’s home is between two mountains,
As our world is between the fabrics of reality,
Our prison is the limited and finite capacity of our mind,
We know nothing beyond our conformed thoughts,
We know nothing beyond our own faults,
Are we locked in the frailty of intellect?

Maybe those who have lost their minds are truly free,
Free of reality and of everything that confines them,
They have expanded the boundaries of an enclosed life,
Stepping over the border into the truth of insanity’s truth,
Truth is our faith assuring us what is real,
Do we not have the right to free our mind of sanity?
i wrote it today during programming class( i was bored XD)