The Lamma
04-06-2007, 05:35 PM
I've been writing a lot of stuff in the last year, and my friends LOOOVE it, so I though I'd share it with you. I'll give you a few sample pieces. :)

The Road of Life
Pain, why doth thou crush me? Lust, why doth thou break me? Why are there so many difficulties in this life? I am smashed wherever I go. I am mashed around every turn. Crushed, bashed, mashed. Crash. I run full speed into the wall of despair. Why does it hurt so? I just want to run away. Run away from all these pains and sorrows. Lust runs through my veins. Desperation stops me at every corner. I beg, I plead, but I know not what I'm asking. Every stumbling block in life seems to stop me. I trip over lusts, selfishness, greed. All I ever wanted controls my path. My head is filled with many unrighteous thoughts. Who can help me? I know the Lord can. But how? I do not know. I ask of him, but without faith, what good does it do? I ask for help. He gives me it, but then I carry on in my ungodly ways. Who else is like me? Everyone has been here. Is here. Will be here. I am not alone in this world of lies and traps. We all collapse under our own ways. We must turn away from these. Turn toward Him. The Maker. The Creator. The great Jehovah, the Lamb, I Am!!! He will rescue us. Comfort us. Cleanse us. He is our way to freedom. Righteous freedom. Grace everlasting. With Him at our side, what can stop us? Every block of stone is removed by faith. We no longer crash into the wall of despair. Freedom. Mercy. Grace. Go now, and tell all who are here your story. This story. The Lamb's story. He Died for us, and we will live with Him forever if we trust in him and have faith.

Class dismissed. Remember to do your homework assigned by Christ.




That was the first. Heres a second:

Water
When I was born, I started the swim of life. At first all was well. The water was shallow, calm, a good temperature, and people were there to help me. But as I got older, the swim of life required that I move forward, so I did. But I wasn't prepared. The water started to grow choppy, cold, it got deeper, and no one was there to help me. Except for the man in the motorboat. I let him give me a few tips, but then I ignored him. Then the water formed into enormous waves, and I barely survived. Every now and then I'd grab the man's hand, but then I would decide to brave the seas myself. What foolishness. The waves continue to grow bigger, and soon it'll be hurricane weather and the water will freeze like ice. I am currently being crushed by one of the many waves, refusing to grab onto the man's hand. But if I wish to live, wish to make it to the end and win, I must let him help me. What good is a horse without a master, a swimmer without a trainer? If I grab the man's hand, he'll give me important tips, and he'll refresh my energy. With him, and only him, I can win the race. so can you. The race of life has no limit as to how many winners there can be, but most will either give up, or die trying. With Christ, we can win and finish the race!



If you liked those, check out my blog at http://the-reverse.blogspot.com/. For a while I was trying to post every Saturday, but stopped for some unknown reason. I'm going to try and start posting again. :) Oh, and all constructive critism is quite welcomed. I don't get enough of it. :p And if you ever have any requests, or if you want be subscribed to it, please contact me. (PM here is easiest:P) I want to eventually write a book of some sort...So tell me what you think of my stuff!!

Geneva
04-24-2007, 04:53 AM
That is really great writing.

I love it. :)

The Lamma
04-24-2007, 11:03 AM
Thanks. :) It's only a very small sample. I love writing that stuff. I'm always thinking of new topics and stuff. Well, at least almost always. :P Check out the link for a lot more. And like I said, if there is anything I could improve on, PLEASE TELL ME! Everyone always says stuff like "awesome", or "great", but never "its pretty good, except this didn't make sense..." or "that wording is kinda funny." Encouragement is great, but so is constructive criticism.

Geneva
04-24-2007, 03:43 PM
I'm sorry. I'm not too great at constructive criticism. I'm not sure why. Probably partly because I feel bad, and plus I'm not much of a writer so I don't really know how to help out.

I Bite
04-25-2007, 09:03 PM
Not to be nit picky or whatever, but in the second paragraph, it says:

[QUOTE]and soon it'll ne hurricane weather[/QOUTE]

I think thats supposed to be: be

Like I said, I'm sorry I'm so particular. I hate grammar/spelling errors in writing.
And, um, in the first paragraph, I really dislike how you use old English for the first two sentences, and then don't use it anymore.
My opinion is that you should do one or the other, not both.
Thats just me, i'm not trying to hurt your feelings.

The Lamma
04-26-2007, 03:41 PM
I'm sorry. I'm not too great at constructive criticism. I'm not sure why. Probably partly because I feel bad, and plus I'm not much of a writer so I don't really know how to help out.

Don't feel bad. Just tell me anything. Oh, just for the record...I wouldn't change these ones (except for 'ne') but use reference for the future.

Geneva
04-26-2007, 04:16 PM
Alrighty. Yeah, I totally missed the 'ne.' Not really a grammar/spelling person. lol

The Lamma
04-26-2007, 05:17 PM
I'm going to change that right now, on all three places its posted...Lol. Oh, and Stephani, at that point in time I liked to speak 'king james' off and on. But I'll watch it.

Edit: Anyone seen Monty Python? My spelling mistake makes me think of it...lol.

Double edit: It won't let me fix the 'ne' since its the intial post, I guess.

unshakeable15
04-26-2007, 10:12 PM
It's fixed for ya. :)

Geneva
04-27-2007, 04:18 AM
haha Monty Python. Amazing.

The Lamma
04-27-2007, 07:48 AM
Thanks for fixing it! Happy Steph? :P

JenniferAnn
04-29-2007, 09:38 AM
hahahaha, Ni! We are the Knights who say "Ni!" i love that movie. Sorry, my giggling is now over. I really like it. My themes are usually about either dealing with total relationship problems and dealing with struggles and what not. It's kinda my way of venting and releasing unwanted negative energy and, at times, just random bursts of creative inspiration. I really liked the usage of the onimonipia (is that spelt correctly?) and sound usage in the first. "Crushed, bashed, mashed. Crash." I felt that really worked. I liked the metaphors in the second and the personalization in the first. I think they're both well written and the themes are great, but i have to say i prefer "Water." You can count on me checking out your blog for more, though. =]

The Lamma
04-29-2007, 11:50 AM
Thanks. :) Oh, and if you want a spell checker on your browser, the Google browser bar is nice for Firefox and IE. If I don't post weekly, don't panic. I write stuff on and off it seems.

I Bite
05-15-2007, 07:23 PM
Thanks for fixing it! Happy Steph? :P

Very. :D

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 11:13 AM
Good. :) You're my official mistake checker now. :D:P