cookie
05-08-2007, 09:14 AM
i need some help on what i should do!!!!!!!!!!!
i recently went to texas and left my boyfriend home and my friends caught him cheating and i dumped him but i still have feelings for him

forceflow17
05-08-2007, 09:35 AM
I have never been in, and hope to never have to be in the middle of a situation like that. Pray, and i will be praying for you. In my opinion, if he's gonna cheat on you, he doesn't deserve you. I doubt that this will makeyou feel any better now, but i believe that it is true.

skynes
05-08-2007, 10:05 AM
i need some help on what i should do!!!!!!!!!!!
i recently went to texas and left my boyfriend home and my friends caught him cheating and i dumped him but i still have feelings for him

Feelings can be really annoying. They distort truth and twist it to a different image. Acting on your feelings isn't a smart idea. I'm with Forceflow regarding him, if he cheated once, nothing stops it happening again. Safe way is to leave him dumped.

As for what you can do:

Firstly, forgive him. I don't mean take him back, I mean choose to hold no resentment toward him.

Secondly if you hold an resentment toward yourself, that you weren't good enough so he went elsewhere or that something is wrong with you. Drop it like a ten tonne load. You weren't to blame here, the choice lay solely with him.

Thirdly, pray. Pray for yourself, pray for clarity of feelings and thought, pray for help with any resentment for him or yourself.

Really immerse yourself in God's Word and prayer. No excuses on lack of time or anything else. It's the single best thing you can do right now.

cookie
05-08-2007, 10:07 AM
i have been praying and every thing but every time i look at him i start to cry and stuff it just makes me mad to no that he did that to me

cookie
05-08-2007, 10:11 AM
i have been praying and every thing but every time i look at him i start to cry and stuff it just makes me mad to no that he did that to me


see i did dump him and i told him not to come back because it was our third time going out and he asked me to marry him but i never gave him an anser

skynes
05-08-2007, 11:31 AM
it just makes me mad to no that he did that to me

Which is why I said forgive. Madness, Hatred, all those feelings corrupt you and make you worse than he is. Please be better than that.

i told him not to come back because it was our third time going out and he asked me to marry him but i never gave him an anser

And if you had said yes, he would have done the same anyway. If he couldn't be faithful to you in dating, he couldn't be faithful in marriage.

dawn of light
05-08-2007, 11:36 AM
good advice Skynes.

but i still have feelings for him
Feelings are just feelings. If you don't get control of them they will be totally dependant on whatever situation you're in. You'll probably go between missing him and missing the relationship. When you miss him, remember all the good qualities that he had and know that you can marry someone with those qualities, but who won't cheat on you. When you miss the relationship, focus on all the good things about being single and remember that you will find someone one day.

The Lamma
05-08-2007, 12:35 PM
Thatsthe one thing with dating: braking up never gives a heart a chance to recover in ones lifetime. But you can live without him. Find something to do instead of feeling anger or anything else. It might work. But still pray. Always pray.

Never stop. Pray.

theelectric3
05-08-2007, 04:09 PM
seperate yourself from him and ask God to help you with the emotions inside of you.

DarkestRose
05-08-2007, 04:18 PM
I think Skynes has the best advice in this case: forgive, don't blame yourself, pray about your feelings and seek God. Also, do not date him and absolutely do not marry him because he cheats. And I'll be praying for you.

Unregistered
05-09-2007, 08:16 AM
thanks for all yalls help. and ill keep praying. i have forgiven him and i have told him what i thought and he said he was "sorry" but i told him "still dont come back just because you said you was sorry dont get you off the hook"

The Lamma
05-09-2007, 01:44 PM
Question: ^ Is that cookie or someone else?

cookie
05-10-2007, 08:11 AM
thanks for all yalls help. and ill keep praying. i have forgiven him and i have told him what i thought and he said he was "sorry" but i told him "still dont come back just because you said you was sorry dont get you off the hook"



yeah its cookie

The Lamma
05-10-2007, 11:27 AM
Ok, log in next time. :P

DarkestRose
05-11-2007, 08:41 PM
I'm still praying for you, Ashley. How are you holding up?

cookie
05-14-2007, 08:30 AM
I just tell myself that I dont need to worry about him because i can and will find someone but than him and someone who wont cheat on me

froggy'sgirl
05-18-2007, 06:29 PM
Exactly. Most guys aren't scum- you just have to keep your mind (and heart) open till you find the right one. Don't get discouraged because one guy's not smart enough to see how good he's got it.

skynes
05-19-2007, 03:15 AM
i can and will find someone but than him and someone who wont cheat on me

Let God make that choice for you.

DarkestRose
05-19-2007, 03:37 AM
Also, you're fourteen. You have plently of time to focus on God, family, friends, school, your future, who you're going to grow up to be. Boys really don't need to be the first priority. You might want to try just being friends with guys for awhile before entertaining the idea of dating again.

The Lamma
05-24-2007, 12:11 PM
^Definitely that last part of what she said. Be friends with guys. That way you can get to know them better, and from knowing them you can decide if they are the type of guy you want to date. And if you just like being with guys, there is no need to date to do that!! I like being with my friends who are girls, but I see no need to date for that.