NightCrawler
05-12-2007, 04:36 PM
WARNING:
Due to the nature of this short story, if you have a weak stomach and a vivid imagination... you might want to avoid reading this. I got a PM because a reader apparently puked in response. [anyone else, feel free to read]

The Flies, by Nachtkriescher

It was late last night, my clock said it was just after 4:00AM. I gasped aloud, "Oh my God. What is that smell?" My stomach was turning sour and my head felt heavy as a brick. I heard flies buzzing all around me in the room. "Oh God. Not again. Not again." My head became red as I vomited on the floor next to my bed. I reached to turn on the light. My eyes squinted as they adjusted, and I saw that there is nothing but my vomit. Not a fly in sight, and no buzzing could be heard. The putrid, heinous smell which was before was then either masked or gone. The wet towel was on my nightstand in case this happened. I cleaned it up as I did every other time. After I calmed down, I got back to sleep. But it still doesn't make sense. It just doesn't make sense.

It was about a year ago since this crap started happening to me. I remember this distinctly because it was right after my accident. Late at night, on St. Patrick's day, I was crossing the street to get over to my downtown flat. When I started to cross the garbage-filled road there not a single moving car in sight. But then came a small car squealing around the street corner, dodging a few of my neighbors. He hit me with his stupid, little Volkswagen Bug, then swerved into a streetlight pole. He died that night. I hadn't: I came out with a concussion and two maimed legs.

The guy was about 26 years old. According to the police, he didn't have any alcohol in his system. "Odd," they said, because it was the holiday. But everyone knew him as a quack. He was a conspiracy theorist who talked to himself often. Sometimes he would run down the street late at night screaming about some maggots and someone trying to kill him. He had cuts on his arms. He was being seen by a psychologist, and was on all these various medications -- all of which he said did not help him. He was completely insane, at least that's what his neighbors told me. If he had friends, I never saw them.

I will admit I was an emotional wreck after the accident. I didn't have a job and I needed help doing various simple tasks. I got disability pay after I was released from the hospital, and have been living on the government's aid up to today. Don't let anyone fool you: being stuck in a wheelchair is about as bad as it looks. I eventually had to move several times to where the rent was cheaper; and finally into a rundown apartment. These events, of course, added much to the destruction of my sense of pride. My old job was a firefighter, so naturally I couldn't go back to work. While I worked there I was very competitive; some called me heroic, but I say I was competent. But that is all gone now. My psychologist diagnosed me with depression 7 months after it happened.

It wasn't just depression. I hear the sound of flies buzzing, not just at night but also at the store and in the shower. It is sometimes accompanied by a tremendous, unbearable odor of burning flesh. I never had these problems before the accident, but they keep coming back about once or twice a week. I described it to my old best friend, and he, with a tone of disbelief, said it was "of Satan and the pit of Hell." I reminded him I was serious. We don't talk about it anymore. Heck, I haven't even seen him for over half a year.

The worst time before today was in the middle of the night about 2 months ago. I woke up panting and screaming at the top of my lungs after some recurring dream about this long claw reaching at me and flies swarming around me. The absurd part was when I went into the bathroom to wash my face and get some water. In the shower to my right I saw a burnt body ripped up and facing me. His bloody skin was sliding off of him slowly, and the tub was splattered red with blood. I immediately wheeled myself the hell out of there. I puked in the hallway. As I left my complex, the sound of flies buzzing got louder and louder like an ocean's crash on the beach. It stopped when I bumped into my neighbor around the street corner, accidently knocking her bottle of wine out of her hand. She was so kind to me, despite all my quirks and weirdness. She said she saw and heard nothing of what I was talking about, yet she offered me to stay in her apartment for a drink and have a place to rest my head. Every time I met her, she always seemed like she was trying to seduce me, but that night when I joked about the thought she shot it down with disinterest. She was nice enough to follow me back to my room and check out the bathroom.

She found nothing there. Smelled nothing. Saw nothing. Heard nothing. But I swear, I felt it was still there even then. I couldn't find it either, but something or somebody was felt there above all the senses. I sometimes wonder if someone didn't just do this to play a trick on me. This instance terrified me enough that I couldn't live with myself without finding a reasonable answer to this problem. She tried to console me and gave me her number in case I needed help.

After I had seen all these things with the loud droning of the flies, I decided I would go to the nearest church on the following Sunday. A televangelist wasn't going to help me through the TV. I was raised Catholic, but that church creeped me out already as it was. So instead I went to some other Protestant church that was closer. But they still worried me. I was with them and I sang their catchy songs. The sermon was on how to handle finances -- hardly what I needed to hear about now. I was on my way out while the pastor and his wife were shaking hands with people as the congregation left. The pastor stopped me and wanted me to tell about myself, how I liked the message and the service, and what brought me there. When I told him about the sights I had seen, he lost his glee-filled face and grew somber. He asked me to come into his office, as he thought he had a solution. I followed. "A demon!" At this point, I wanted out of this place. He tried to exorcize me and it didn't work, but then he said something to the effect of "this kind must only be able to come out through prayer." I told him I was leaving, and he warned me. That gave me chills up my spine, but I was still convinced that he was bigger nut than I was. Dead end, if you ask me.

I told my psychologist about it and he put me on some expensive medications. I never felt right when I took them, and the sounds only stopped for about a week. Big woop. Not worth it. If they don't solve the problem, I'd rather feel like myself. The first time heard the flies again, I woke up and a putrid smell felt like it was coming over my face. It's strength felt like a soft hand was going to grab me violently. In a panic, I pulled the pills out of my nightstand and downed several. I didn't know what to do. I wheeled myself over to the phone to call my neighbor. She came over immediately. Again, she didn't find anything. She was concerned that I overdosed. I passed out.

I woke up again, very dizzy. She was sitting there, eating some of my leftover chinese carryout. She asked me about the knife she noticed I had on my nightstand, but I didn't remember even owning it. She saw that I looked survivable, but told me that she needed to go to work. She left me what was remaining of the chinese food. I ate it and after a few hours went outside when my head cleared. I walked to the store and bought some books on schizophrenia, as well as some books about demonic activity. The cashier noticed my eyes were red, and I hadn't bathed in a while. She stared at me as I left the store. I bet she thought I was insane. But I am not. I know I'm not. I am not like the psycho who hit me with his car.

My psychologist suggested I write everything I knew about my history. I think this is a good start. It is time to turn in for the night.
-- Raymond Ellis.

10:25PM
March 13th, 2005

A man searched the remains of an apartment. Everything was ransacked and most things were destroyed with fire. A bloody knife was on the floor with a melted handle. The man looked through his belongings and into his filecabinet. It was the only thing without any burnt papers inside. Inside was a notebook and some drawings of claws. Opening the notebook, the man scanned the only passage. A smirk grew on his face and he spoke aloud, "I found something. Take a look at this. This guy was a fruitcake." The officer handed the notebook over to the detective. "What is this?" He paused a moment, and handed back the notebook to the officer. "Bag it. This will probably help explain his accident." The detective walked into the bathroom and quickly covered his nose, "Holy... Somebody come get this. He's in the tub."

froggie socks.
05-12-2007, 05:12 PM
ummm, wow. i'm gonna puke, you're good at describing stuff, burning flesh, bloody bodies, ugh. to much for me, not the sort of writing i really enjoy, i'd be puking all night because of it, seriously, when you said that thing about the bloody body in the bathroom in the beginingish, i really did throw up, so thank you. and, you used some pretty strong words, that might need to be changed, but it was good, if you like that sort of writing.

NightCrawler
05-12-2007, 09:35 PM
Thanks. ... but sorry. I just added the warning at the top now.

froggie socks.
05-13-2007, 08:09 AM
thanx.

Geneva
05-13-2007, 03:38 PM
Haha that was awesome. :D

the rocker
05-13-2007, 03:56 PM
Whoa, that actually got freaky. Awesome.

I Bite
05-13-2007, 05:50 PM
I really loved it. I don't know how someone would puke after reading that...and I kinda wonder about exxageration there...But yah. Totally awesome.

The Lamma
05-14-2007, 11:37 AM
There are people out there with really weak stomachs. You just might not know any.

froggie socks.
05-14-2007, 01:42 PM
*sigh* it was me, duh, i just the thought of the smell of burning flesh makes my stomach churn. *gags* , and no, it was NOT an exageration. i scroll down like really fast when i get on this thingy majiger, cause it WAS a good story, it was just a little bit,,umm, vivid.

Laerasyn
05-14-2007, 03:25 PM
Wow... that was extremely vivid. You really are good at description, the whole thing just feels very real. Just because I'm me, I would maybe say that you could come up with a better opening line than "It was late...", but otherwise it's still a good beginning. Anyway, I found the whole thing more sad than sickening, really. Definitely creepy though. I'd be interested to hear where this came from or what inspired it. Nice work.

NightCrawler
05-14-2007, 05:48 PM
Crud. You can't edit original posts. : /


Thanks for all you're feedback, guys and dolls. ;D

The Lamma
05-14-2007, 06:17 PM
Dolls? Lol. How vivid is it? I've yet to read it. :P

froggie socks.
05-15-2007, 03:49 AM
you should, it's good, i won't ever read it again, but it was good,

NightCrawler
05-15-2007, 06:53 AM
Wow... that was extremely vivid. You really are good at description, the whole thing just feels very real.
Thanks

Just because I'm me, I would maybe say that you could come up with a better opening line than "It was late...", but otherwise it's still a good beginning.
Ya know, that's a good point. Those three words have probably been reused hundreds or thousands of times.

Anyway, I found the whole thing more sad than sickening, really. Definitely creepy though. I'd be interested to hear where this came from or what inspired it. Nice work.
I was reading a xanga site. She was a goth friend of my online friend. The thing was, while she was a satanist and wiccan... she was also diagnosed with schizophrenia. So I got to thinking, especially because I have had a class in abnormal psychology (a large part of it was devoted to schizophrenia)... how could we tell a hallucination of a mental illness from a demon tormenting?

I woke up the next day with the first two paragraphs in my head. I wrote it on my site and just kept writing it all day.

froggie socks.
05-15-2007, 02:12 PM
YAY FOR YOU!! i write poetry like that, most of the time,

bob
05-15-2007, 07:18 PM
Oh! You wrote that. That makes much more sense now. :P

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 11:16 AM
Who else would've? Lol.

froggie socks.
05-16-2007, 01:36 PM
bob, you're a smart one aren't you.

bob
05-16-2007, 06:32 PM
Well, I read it off of his xanga first before he posted it here. I didn't know he had written it. So mah!

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 06:38 PM
Why would he post it on xanga if he didn't write it?

bob
05-16-2007, 06:46 PM
Perhaps he found it interesting. There's no rule on xanga that says your content has to be 100% your's. I quote people from time to time on my xanga.

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 06:49 PM
But do you copy whole stories? :P

froggie socks.
05-16-2007, 06:50 PM
what's a xanga??

bob
05-16-2007, 06:51 PM
what's a xanga??

It's a blog site. Basically it's a place where you can write a bunch of stuff people will never read. As I so perfectly display on mine (http://www.xanga.com/jk84panhead).

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 06:52 PM
LOL!! Stuff that no one will read...

bob
05-16-2007, 06:53 PM
It's true man. I have over 2 years of posts that will probably never see human eyes ever again. How vain!

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 06:56 PM
Wow...At least I know my friends read my stuff...

froggie socks.
05-16-2007, 06:58 PM
ah, so it's kinda like myspace??

bob
05-16-2007, 06:59 PM
Apparently I have no friends. :P


On xanga at least.

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 07:01 PM
Lol. I have friends on my blog. :P

froggie socks.
05-16-2007, 07:03 PM
i would be your friend bob,,,,,

bob
05-16-2007, 07:16 PM
i would be your friend bob,,,,,

It's quite alright. I don't lose any sleep over it. I just use it as a place to jot down my thoughts, rant, and even make some social commentaries. I don't necessarily need people to read it to motivate me. I'm my own motivation. :P

jade
05-16-2007, 10:16 PM
If you guys want to talk about Xanga, I'm sure we have a thread about it or something similar to it over in general discussion. :)

In the mean time, back to the story at hand.

froggie socks.
05-17-2007, 02:25 PM
it was a good story. but i will never read it again.

froggy'sgirl
05-18-2007, 06:50 PM
You kind of left us hanging- that's just cruel. It was impressive though.

NightCrawler
05-18-2007, 06:53 PM
;D

Thanks.

Bassplayer
05-19-2007, 07:17 AM
dude, that was awesome! i love that kind of writing. it reminded me of a mix between Peretti and Dekker. i like it. you should try writing more. make it a mystery and have the detective searching for the answer. maybe have the symptoms spread to other people. idk, just some thoughts. but it was good man.

frymeskillet
05-19-2007, 02:47 PM
Awesome. I like it, I enjoy things that you have to think about...it helps press an actual meaning to the purpose of your writing. It did kind of leave you hanging a bit, but that's where the thinking comes in!

froggie socks.
05-20-2007, 08:59 AM
you guys are weird, the best part was that it left you hanging! that way, you can think of your own ending!.

The Lamma
05-24-2007, 11:53 AM
it reminded me of a mix between Peretti and Dekker.

Gosh golly, I better go read it!!!!!!!!! I LOVE DEKKER! *runs to first page to read it*

EDIT: Egad! That was creepy...So he was seeing what was going to happen to himself? Really creepy. Do you like have any part 2 in mind for this? I don't like cliff hangers that don't conclude, lol.

NightCrawler
05-24-2007, 12:30 PM
I wanted there to be two conclusions possible:
1) He did it to himself because he was insane.
2) It was done to him/or he did it to himself because he was being tormented by a dæmon.

I hoped that it was open-ended enough that people would have their own bias and cite the various reasons to believe one way or the other -- the best part, in my opinion, was that I had significant support for either side.

NightCrawler
05-24-2007, 12:30 PM
Has anyone seen The Innocents?

froggie socks.
05-24-2007, 01:32 PM
uhhhh, no, should i?????

The Lamma
05-24-2007, 05:14 PM
Nope, never seen it.

NightCrawler
05-25-2007, 10:36 AM
OOOOOoooold movie.

After writing this I find that they have a similar element.

Like, holy cow they are similar.

Not as gory. But just as creepy.

Like, 'are the children demon possessed, or is she insane?' push-pull tactic.

The Lamma
05-25-2007, 03:03 PM
You know, for a while after reading it I had this really faint, funny feeling in my gut... I thought I was feeling it again just now, but I now realize its called hunger. :P (the first time wasn't, though) But it was still pretty good. When I started reading it, I thought it was slightly weak, but by the end I was like 'wow, its not weak!' Lol.

DarkestRose
06-19-2007, 11:21 AM
That's really, really good. It really is true that there is complexity in how the church treats mental illness. Have you read the book Strength for His People by Pastor Steven Waterhouse? It's about ministering to the mentally ill and he devotes a section of the book to the differences between mental illness and possession because the concern is so common among Christians.

NightCrawler
06-25-2007, 11:51 AM
Thanks :)

I haven't read it, actually. I take it that you recommend it?

DarkestRose
06-25-2007, 01:17 PM
Yeah, that's a good book. And it's small. Maybe a five-dollar book.

Edit: To futher elaborate, the book is mainly about schizophrenia. The author writes about what it is and confronts common misconceptions that Christians have about the disease. He discusses how mental illness affects the family and how those emotions can be approached through faith. He talks about the issue that lots of people who get a mental illness or know someone get a mental illness ask, which is "Why did God allow this to happen?" which really faces the whole "Why does God allow bad things to happen" issue. He discusses that people with schizophrenia still have human value and that they are people the church should still be caring for. And he confronts the mental illness vs. demon possession issue. It has discussion questions and notes. It's 125 pages in whole.

DarkestRose
06-26-2007, 09:45 AM
Another Christian-based book on mental illness is Finding Alice, which is a novel by Melody Carlson, written about a college senior who develops schizophrenia. She comes from an extremist conservative fundamentalist background and her mother’s church believes she is possessed. So it touches on the church’s reaction to mental illness that way. It draws on comparisons to Alice in Wonderland. But I found a lot of material reminiscent to A Beautiful Mind. It’s a pretty good, at least the best Christian approach I’ve found so far.