05-15-2007, 07:23 PM
For those of you who don't know the definition:

circa 1906
: a mode of thinking, feeling, or acting common to a given group of people; especially : a traditional social custom

The other day I walked through a door, I saw a lady walking towards me to walk through the door I had just came through, so I held the door for her to walk through. She didn't thank me. While this didn't cause me to flip out or lose my nerve it made me think that maybe it's no longer polite to hold the door for a lady. Do you agree or disagree? What other folkways do you think have changed, will change, or are in the process of changing?

05-16-2007, 02:51 AM
Holding doors open is polite. She's just ignorant.

05-16-2007, 04:01 AM
i think its nice to have someone hold the door for is just politeness...that lady may just have been having a bad day and was occupied in thought or something...hmmm...i'll think on this and see if i can add anything more...interesting topic...

05-16-2007, 04:33 AM
I like people holding the door for me too. And I hold the door for people to be polite. I've held the thought that guys should always hold the door for women no matter what her age is. It's manners.

I was thinking like Laura that she must have been having a bad day or was lost in thought. Or maybe she's one of those feminists that gets ticked off by things like that? Or maybe she's shy/aloof and wasn't sure how to respond, so she just said nothing? Or maybe she was in a hurry?

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 11:04 AM
As men we are supposed to be gentlemen, and as gentlemen we are supposed to be chivalrous towards woman, and that includes holding the door whether they thank you or not. Our culture has thrown chivalry out the door, and it is my belief that we should bring it back. The Rebelution ( has a lot about that. (its a blog by Joshua Harris' bros)

I Bite
05-16-2007, 03:06 PM
I think a lot of women today are seriously independent...I used to think, 'i don't need guys to hold the door for me, i'm just as capable as them', but now I think it's a really nice thing when guys do nice stuff like that.

05-17-2007, 04:10 AM
*shrug* Well, I'm not dependent and I don't need a guy to open a door for me. But it's chivalry, which I think a lot of guys today are seriously lacking. Guys holding a door can even be somewhat feminist in the sense that he's showing respect to the girl. I don't think guys are trying to be demeaning at all when they open a car or a door for a girl and therefore they shouldn't be taken that way.

05-17-2007, 06:42 AM
I am a door opener and holder. Regardless of gender. I just tend to allow a greater limit on the distance if they are girls.

05-17-2007, 07:05 PM
Right, whenever I hold a door open for a lady its out of respect. I know that all women are fully capable of opening a door. :P

The Lamma
05-18-2007, 07:42 AM
Its totally respect. Thats what chivalry is. Thats what being a gentleman is. If you aren't doing it out of respect, its not necessarily a good thing. I know one reason some people don't like other people opening the door for them is because its interpreted as "I'm better than you," which kinda actually happens when there is no respect involved. If you know what I mean.

05-22-2007, 06:45 PM
we've just lost respect for one another so why would we want to be polite? we simply don't care.... or think we're something and EXPECT it (in a arrogant sense)....

you did a very nice thing James - and i am sorry the girl didn't appreciate it.

06-11-2007, 07:09 PM
Holding doors and stuff is still polite. But a lot of people don't appreciate that kindof stuff, which is probably why a lot of people don't do it.
On TV I saw this guy that would offer to carry ladies' bags and stuff for them, and a lot of them were afraid he was trying to rob them.
So maybe human contact is a little feared in general.

06-11-2007, 07:12 PM
Actually, I might be suspicious if someone offered to hold my bag. I was never aware that that was a courtesy.

06-11-2007, 07:21 PM
I always thought it was a nice thing.
Like how people on old TV shows ask people, "Gee, can I carry your books?" and stuff. Haha.
Nice name, by the way.

06-11-2007, 07:40 PM
Books makes sense. I've heard of that.

The Lamma
06-12-2007, 11:42 AM
I know I already posted this link, but I don't know if you read it. If you know Joshua Harris, he writes good stuff. So does his two twin brothers. They have a website, The Rebelution (, which is dedicated to rebelling against the modern rebellion. Chivalry included. If enough teenagers and young adults join together in this cause, who knows, we might be able to greatly impact our world and turn it back around and once again give respect to each other?