cookie
05-16-2007, 10:11 AM
does every one believe the way i do that if you want to get pregnant at the age of 14-19 that you shouldnt be able to get the epidural unless you have to. im going to tell you the story why i believe that way

one of my friends (used to be a very good friend) wanted to get pregnant at the age of 14 and of course she is dating a 35 year old guy and she got pregnant and she is now 15 years old and is having the baby on the 25th of this month and i dont think she should have the epidural because she wanted to get pregnant i have had a lot of people tell me that they believe the same way.

as for me i want a baby but not until im older (a lot older) i am still a 10 year old kid inside at times but i have also helped raise my 2 year old cousin since the age of 2 months old i take her on as my kid

skynes
05-16-2007, 10:47 AM
Epidural? As in... the kind of anaesthetic?

What's that got to do with pregnancy?

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 10:48 AM
That confused me greatly, too...

alienyouth9292
05-16-2007, 11:55 AM
a 14 year old girl and a 35 year old guy!!! hmmmmm.....

skynes
05-16-2007, 11:56 AM
a 14 year old girl and a 35 year old guy!!! hmmmmm.....


In my village, that's considered normal.

korey_cooper_jr
05-16-2007, 11:58 AM
In my village, that's considered normal.

In Ireland?

DarkestRose
05-16-2007, 12:00 PM
I think it's highly irresponsible to have a child at such a young age, not to mention that a thirty-five year old impregnating a fourteen-year would be statutory rape here in the US. So this whole situation is bizarre, but what does that have to do with anesthetics? Regardless of whether someone wanted to have a child or not, being that labor pains are, well, painful I don't see why she shouldn't be given some medicine to lessen the pain. Do you mean that she should be punished for her irresponsibility through this manner? I think I'm missing the point of all of this.

skynes
05-16-2007, 12:57 PM
In Ireland?

Northern Ireland (a completely separate and independent country), but yeah. I can think of multiple girls in this area who were pregnant under 18 by a guy in their 30s.

terrasin
05-16-2007, 01:07 PM
IT'S MY ISLAND!!!... sorry.

Anyway, about 150 years ago, it was quite common practice for people so young to already be married and have a kid. However, the culture was much different back then than it is now. We tend to frown on such actions. :)

CJ

skynes
05-16-2007, 01:26 PM
IT'S MY ISLAND!!!... sorry

... *doesn't get it*

Anyway, about 150 years ago, it was quite common practice for people so young to already be married and have a kid. However, the culture was much different back then than it is now. We tend to frown on such actions

Whole way back to Jesus' day and before it was common for 13-14yr olds to be married. Probably why parents had such a huge hand in it as the teens would be too emotion driven to make a sensible choice.

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 02:08 PM
Anyway, about 150 years ago, it was quite common practice for people so young to already be married and have a kid. However, the culture was much different back then than it is now. We tend to frown on such actions. :)

But like you just said, it was common to get married at that age. The definition of marriage is in another thread, but I think we would agree that this is not at all that?

Northern Ireland (a completely separate and independent country), but yeah. I can think of multiple girls in this area who were pregnant under 18 by a guy in their 30s.
But, as you should well know, you live on the same island. ;D:P (unless you live an some small near-by island)

timmyrotter
05-16-2007, 02:11 PM
WOW that is one of the most messed up, somewhat accepted story i may have ever heard...

the issue shouldnt be the epidural, personally i think she will want one cause a 15 year-old body isnt ready to have a baby normally. without going into detail, its gonna hurt... real bad...

the issue should be the POS pedophile who raped her.

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 02:14 PM
What do you mean by 'somewhat accepted'?

timmyrotter
05-16-2007, 02:15 PM
the fact that she isnt distraught about the 35 year-old having relations with her friend.

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 02:18 PM
Oh, that. I got the impression you were either saying we were accepting the story as fine or that the world does. The latter is true, yes, but apparently you weren't saying that.

timmyrotter
05-16-2007, 02:22 PM
I think it's highly irresponsible to have a child at such a young age, not to mention that a thirty-five year old impregnating a fourteen-year would be statutory rape here in the US. So this whole situation is bizarre, but what does that have to do with anesthetics? Regardless of whether someone wanted to have a child or not, being that labor pains are, well, painful I don't see why she shouldn't be given some medicine to lessen the pain. Do you mean that she should be punished for her irresponsibility through this manner? I think I'm missing the point of all of this.

i must agree, i think she will reap the consequences plenty the next 18 years of her life...

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 02:29 PM
Yeah, when she is 25, she'll have a 10 year old kid...

skynes
05-16-2007, 03:30 PM
But, as you should well know, you live on the same island

America... Canada.. what's the difference really? you all live on the same island ;D

aliengurl7
05-16-2007, 04:22 PM
What does an epidural have to do with wanting to get pregnant or the price of gas for that matter. I don't get any of it. Am I alone here?

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 04:36 PM
America... Canada.. what's the difference really? you all live on the same island ;D

Its more of a continent the Ireland and North Ireland. :P But for the record, I do know that there are completely different countries that are on the same island, just like Haiti and that other country are.

And aliengirl, if you read the first couple posts, we were, and are, confused.

terrasin
05-16-2007, 04:56 PM
... *doesn't get it*
It's from Braveheart. :>

But like you just said, it was common to get married at that age. The definition of marriage is in another thread, but I think we would agree that this is not at all that?
Well, the connection I was trying to show there is that hormones start kicking in around that time. It's all part of the evolution of humans, so it's not a wonder that kids start getting interested in things like sex with a long history that put them through it at such a young age.

CJ

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 05:00 PM
That doesn't make it right, though. Hormones should never be an excuse.

timmyrotter
05-16-2007, 05:10 PM
That doesn't make it right, though. Hormones should never be an excuse.

whoa! hormones can be very difficult to control, though you cant use them to justify your actions, so i see what you are saying. the issue here(if there even is one, seeing as how the original poster wasnt too clear) though is the fact that she is with a 35- year old.

The Lamma
05-16-2007, 05:21 PM
Hormones themselves are fine. Hormones + temptation + giving in isn't. Its ok to be attracted, notice that someone looks good, thats what hormones do. But if you go past that, it can be bad. But yeah, that isn't the issue.

bob
05-16-2007, 06:39 PM
I honestly don't think a 15 year old is up to parenting. I mean heck, the girl hasn't even finished growing up herself! How is she expected to bring up a child?

terrasin
05-16-2007, 08:55 PM
That doesn't make it right, though. Hormones should never be an excuse.
Never said it was an excuse. :P Just tossing the information out there as one of the possibilities to the actions of teens.

CJ

NightCrawler
05-17-2007, 07:22 AM
... *doesn't get it*

Stephen (http://imdb.com/name/nm0641244/): Stephen is my name. I'm the most wanted man on my island. Except I'm not on my island, of course. More's the pity.
Hamish (http://imdb.com/name/nm0322407/): Your island? You mean Ireland.
Stephen (http://imdb.com/name/nm0641244/): Yeah. It's MINE.
Hamish (http://imdb.com/name/nm0322407/): You're a madman.
Stephen (http://imdb.com/name/nm0641244/): [Laughs] I've come to the right place then.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0112573/quotes

DarkestRose
05-17-2007, 07:48 AM
Braveheart is a beautiful movie. And I love Scotland. Ties with France in my favorite countries.

DarkestRose
05-17-2007, 07:51 AM
Yeah, when she is 25, she'll have a 10 year old kid...

By the time she's around John Cooper's age (actually a year older than he is), her daughter will be eighteen. Or like me having a four-year-old daughter/son.

I would actually hope she would choose adoption because motherhood requires a lot, especially from a fifteen-year-old. However, I don't think teen motherhood is the worst situation that someone can end up in. Your friend could manage it well, however there would be sacrifices, especially in the areas of social and financial freedom.

I think the situation at hand is more important than whether or not she gets an epidural. I still think that she should get an epidural. Labor hurt. Otherwise a woman wouldn't have a needle stuck into her spine. If I were her, I'd have it and I don't think it'd be wise to talk her out of it.

Tromos
05-17-2007, 08:12 AM
All other parts of this story aside, I just wanted to step in and make a comment to cookie:

If you are a Christian, the Bible assigns you one primary, overriding duty here:

Love her.

Keep your personal outrage well, ... personal. Learn from her actions and recognize that this is not God's Will for your life. I dare say that you (nor I) are not qualified to determine God's Will for someone else's life.

Do you think Jesus would get in her face and tell her how screwed up she is? Or how irresponsible she is? If so, I don't think you know the Jesus of the Bible very well.

Love her. Love the baby. Let God figure out the consequences and the judgment.

DarkestRose
05-17-2007, 08:29 AM
On another note, if your friend does want to have an epidural, she needs to arrange an anesthesiologist before she goes in for labor. She should tell her doctor several times that she wants an epidural and remind him when she starts labor. My understandind has been that only an anesthesiologist can give her an epidural, so if she doesn't secure this, she's out of luck. So, as her friend, you should really, really, really remind her as often as possible until it annoys the snot out of her simply because friends don't leave friends to unnecessary pain.

I don't know how close you are to this girl anymore, but if you are even casual friends, you should be there for her as much as possible throughout the rest of her pregnancy and once the baby is born. Because, like Tromos said, she's going to need love, compassion, friendship, kindness, consideration and sensitivity. No, you don't have to agree with her or approve of what she's doing, but you can still accept her as a person and help her through this. My initial reaction was that she made a very irresponsible decision, but I think Tromos has the right idea about how to respond, regardless of personal feelings or opinions.

bob
05-18-2007, 09:22 AM
How does age play a factor in deciding whether to have an epidural?

Sorry, I know very limited about child birth considering I never payed attention in health class, I'm male, and I'm unmarried and whitout children. :P

DarkestRose
05-18-2007, 01:49 PM
I don't think health classes talk about child birth. My middle school health class talked about abstinence and "safe sex" but not the idea of actually getting pregnant (to my recollection). I just read a lot about pregnancy as educational/leisure reading of sorts. (Which worries parents.)

But anyway, I don't think age really plays a factor in having an epidural because age doesn't influence change in how it is administered or how it works.

bob
05-19-2007, 07:14 PM
Right, so I don't think age would be the problem. So is the question of the thread to ask if she shouldn't get an epidural in order to say "Ha! Take that!" . . .

DarkestRose
05-20-2007, 03:45 AM
So is the question of the thread to ask if she shouldn't get an epidural in order to say "Ha! Take that!" . . .

That is how I have percieved it. And if that is in fact the case, I am one hundred percent against it.

DarkestRose
05-23-2007, 08:24 AM
It is very close to your friend's due date. So how is she doing?

cookie
05-23-2007, 09:10 AM
she is doing good she has already had the baby she named her brittney nicole and shes a really close freind and we talk all the time like sisters i told her that i would always be there for her and if she ever needed anything that i would help her out i was trying to ask if yall think she should have the epidural i know that i probably didnt get that across very good but i was in such a hurry so i could leave to get to my other class so im sorry for all the confussion i caused yall trying to figure that out the baby is adorible even though i've only seen pictures because i cant go to her house because im on crutches and sick and i would hate to get her and her baby sick so yeah

DarkestRose
05-24-2007, 11:32 AM
Well, the answer to the epidural question (not that it means anything anymore) I do think that she should have had the epidural. I don't know if she did, but whatever.

But what is your friend going to do now? A teen parenting program? Is she still going to finish school? Is she going to get a job? Is she going use daycare if she can afford it (probably not because it's costly)? Are her parents helping raise the baby?

eowyn
05-24-2007, 06:43 PM
This is one of the strangest threads...I think I've ever read.

DarkestRose
05-24-2007, 06:53 PM
I think the one about calling the president to save the animals and lost souls was weirder, but this is off-beat too.