smasth_the_tv
05-17-2007, 07:41 AM
With me being a student leader in my youth ministry i've leaened that leadership "lowers" friendship.A couple days ago one my friends was doing stuff she wsa'nt supposed to do. i've been friends with her since diapers! but lately she's been ditching church and just not living her life 4 God. I told my youth pastor about it (he's her cousin) and he told her mom.she convinced her mom that she was'nt doing any of those things. at first she was mad at me (probablly still is, but i could care less ::] ) but then acts as if nothing happened. monday night i told my omo everything and i started to cry. The devil would keep lying to me, telling me that everytime i try to help, i screw things up. i lost some really close friends and family. but not because i was helping but because they did'nt want to live right. so i had to let them go and place them in God's hands. Then i look back in the bible.
*MATTHEW 10:19-40*
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me."


check it out.....one thing that God placed in me is to have a HEART for others. no idont mean i feel sorry, i mean i wont sleep, i stay up all night crying and seeking God for you until you come to God or get through what you're going througth.
i've lost alot of friends but so did Jesus, but once the saw him rise agian (they saw the truth) they came back.;)

skynes
05-17-2007, 08:20 AM
You will lose a lot of friends. You'll lose count of the number.

However... And this is a big however.

Those who you do so much for when they fall, when they come back, the bond that will be there between you and them will be greater than it could ever have been before.

Once they're able to grasp what it was you did for them, they'll be grateful.

On a down note, it could be years before they grasp it.

DarkestRose
05-17-2007, 08:25 AM
What does a student leader do?

smasth_the_tv
05-17-2007, 08:34 AM
What does a student leader do?

It's like and elder in the church...how the help out the pastor and they're right underneth the pastor i the body of God. they too are the spiritual leaders.....i'm the leader underneath my youth pastor so when i graduate out of the youth ministry i could be an "elder" underneath my pastor.

The Lamma
05-17-2007, 11:40 AM
Like Skynes said, you will lose many friends. Following God to the end has that risk, but the risks involved are nothing too big to overcome with God's help, and are nothing compared to the rewards in the end. Always do what is right under God, and nothing in life could be better.

smasth_the_tv
05-18-2007, 08:53 AM
hmph. the funny thing is, is that i'm used to not haveing many friends...but the thing that hurt the most is that my only friend is a fake.

The Lamma
05-18-2007, 10:19 AM
That would hurt. But temporary pain can be necessary. Remember that God will ALWAYS be your friend.

smasth_the_tv
05-21-2007, 07:32 AM
That would hurt. But temporary pain can be necessary. Remember that God will ALWAYS be your friend.

it sounds so "whatever" when we say that "i am a friend of God" but that's what keeps us going. we find that we TRUELY ARE NOT OF THIS WORLD but we just live here.and trying to find friends that are of the world is a hopless case.:-\

DarkestRose
05-21-2007, 07:32 AM
That's a hard situation to be in. It is true that the greatest relationship you have and ever will have is in Jesus Christ, and that He'll never leave you or forsake you. So you can still talk to Him and tell Him what a bummer is with your friends not being your friends anymore. You probably have already.

It's still a bummer of a situation though because sometimes we just want to be with people, someone with skin on, and even God said of Adam that it was not good for him to be alone even though God was right there. So we do need people. And it could be the case that God is going to bring people into your life who are genuine about Him. And it could be the case that God is going to use you to convict your friend into getting in a right relationship with Him.

In any case, I'll pray for you.

somasoul
05-22-2007, 05:51 PM
Being a leader isn't something given to you by those of higher authority, it's a respect shown to you by those you lead.

theelectric3
05-22-2007, 07:24 PM
remember that you are never alone.

on_a_mission
05-22-2007, 10:30 PM
I don't want to sound like a monday morning quarterback, but it sounds like from your post that you may have damaged your friendship because of the way you dealt with the situation. In retrospect, it may have been better to talk with this friend first and deal with them on a personal basis. I know if I have done something wrong at work, I don't want a co-worker going to my boss saying I screwed up. I would much prefer them to come to me personally and tell me how they felt. Going to the youth pastor should have been your last ditch effort to affect change.

Hopefully this person will come around and will stop making poor choices.

DarkestRose
05-23-2007, 07:32 AM
I don't want to sound like a monday morning quarterback, but it sounds like from your post that you may have damaged your friendship because of the way you dealt with the situation. In retrospect, it may have been better to talk with this friend first and deal with them on a personal basis. I know if I have done something wrong at work, I don't want a co-worker going to my boss saying I screwed up. I would much prefer them to come to me personally and tell me how they felt. Going to the youth pastor should have been your last ditch effort to affect change.

Hopefully this person will come around and will stop making poor choices.

I was wondering that myself but I don't know. Because the youth pastor is also her cousin it could be the case of telling her family not telling on her to church leaders. I don't know if that seems different at all.

And if I were a leader and knew my best friend was into something bad, I might be tempted to tell her family just to see if intervention could help her. I would wonder if that is the "best" choice or if she'd hate me forever. But it's hard to tell. It doesn't feel like a black and white situation.

But the person in question probably would feel like you said, Derek. So maybe good intentions didn't reap the most positive results?

smasth_the_tv
05-29-2007, 09:16 AM
well the problem with her parents is that they're a bunch of fakes too.

skynes
05-29-2007, 09:32 AM
I made a post... but it doesn't seem to have went through.

I don't want to sound like a monday morning quarterback, but it sounds like from your post that you may have damaged your friendship because of the way you dealt with the situation. In retrospect, it may have been better to talk with this friend first and deal with them on a personal basis.

This was a lose-lose situation.

Speak to them directly first, people would say you shoulda spoke to a Pastor first.

Speak to a Pastor first, people would say you shoulda spoke to them directly first.

DarkestRose
05-29-2007, 11:49 AM
I suppose it's lose-lose in the sense that there is always going to be somebody who thinks she should have done differently. But I don't think it really matters what other people think about the situation as much as what her friend would respond to. Would her friend have responded to being personally confronted? Maybe. It's just speculation on my part.

But Shanise, when you say that she and/or her parents are fakes, what does that mean exactly? It's kind of a generalization.

smasth_the_tv
06-01-2007, 10:05 AM
well the youth pastor is her cousin....
so either way i would have still lost a friend.