Geneva
06-10-2007, 01:04 PM
So, I have this pastor (We'll call him Bill) and I really don't have that much respect for him at all as a person.

He's an all right preacher, but he's just a not so nice person.

Example: There's this person who works at my church. Her mom died and she's been going through a hard time because she was really close to her mom. Bill sees her and says:

"How are you doing?"

She replys with "You know, I'm not doing so great."

He responds with "You need to get over that."

I feel like I should respect him, but I really don't.

Is that bad since he's my pastor and all?

:-X

DarkestRose
06-10-2007, 04:08 PM
I don’t know exactly. I cannot imagine that he says what he does out of malice, but from what you have written, it is hard to get a clear picture of where he is coming from.

Is it just his actions or the thing that he says that bother you, not the doctrine he teaches? Because I think it is very important to have a pastor who teaches Biblical Truth.

It may be something in his personality that causes him to be rather blunt. I don’t think that is a good excuse at all, but I think it brings an understanding of why he does—or says—what he does. Or he could be coming from a point of view where he thinks his comments are not mean, but more like constructive criticism or needed advice. I don’t know for sure, however, since I don’t know him personally.

I think there is a level of respect that we need to give the pastors that God places in our church, like obedience and honoring their authority in the church. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll always like him and think he's the greatest but you don’t show impertinent behavior either.

I need other Panheads to chip in their two-cents though.

lamb_servant72
06-10-2007, 04:42 PM
Ephesians 4:11-12 says that God gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping/perfecting of the saints/servants for the work of service.

It sounds like he is a teacher, not a pastor.

It is really hard for a teacher to fill the role of pastor/counselor. My father is gifted as a teacher (and was a traditional preacher for many years) and he says the hardest part was the pastoral part.

Many churches are not using the model in Ephesians (it's also in 1 Cor 12 if you want to read that, too.), and most of the ministry is left up to one man who is not gifted in everything.

If I were you, I would ask God to show me how to properly respect your preacher. I would also ask God to meet those needs that are lacking. Perhaps He will raise up someone in your church to provide the pastoral role (they don't have to actually have that title to do it.)

My mom was killed 21 years ago. If I ever get over it, I'll let you know.

The book Letters from Motherless Daughters really helped me understand the feelings I go through, and have been through. I highly recommend it. My mama had been gone 18 years when I read it, and I bawled like a baby for many days...so she might need alot of support if she does have the opportunity to go through that book.

Geneva
06-10-2007, 05:14 PM
Thanks for the advice.
<3

The Lamma
06-11-2007, 09:22 AM
Like Jen said, you haven't given us much to go on, and you might just be reading him wrong. But, and this is probably 100% wrong, or at least I hope it is, he is like the pharisees...But I wouldn't tag that on him unless you knew 100% like Jesus did. Just try to understand where he is coming from, and pray about it. God can help with everything, and he wants to bring unity among his children.

pidget
06-11-2007, 10:19 AM
Also try to keep in mind that pastors are only human, too. They have their flaws like the rest of us, and won't always do exactly what's best. Try to give him a little bit of space, remembering that all your flaws didn't just vanish into thin air when you got saved, and that it takes work to change. Pray for him and yourself, and if you persistantly feel the same things about him, by all means, talk to him about it. Don't attack him, just privately take him aside and speak openly about what you feel. In the mean time, don't allow yourself to harbor negative feelings for him. Doing that would allow bitterness to build up inside of you, and would only serve to aggravate the situation. Remember that the Bible commands us to forgive one another, and not to harbor grudges against our brothers and sisters in Christ.

DarkestRose
06-11-2007, 02:06 PM
Like Jen said, you haven't given us much to go on, and you might just be reading him wrong. But, and this is probably 100% wrong, or at least I hope it is, he is like the pharisees...But I wouldn't tag that on him unless you knew 100% like Jesus did. Just try to understand where he is coming from, and pray about it. God can help with everything, and he wants to bring unity among his children.

MAJOR pet peeve of mine is any Christian calling another a Pharisee. It's a direct attack on their faith and relationship with God. I don't think Christians are even right most of the times they call a brother/sister in Christ a Pharisee (or compare them to one).

The reason I tried to persuade toward trying to get what his point of view was, I did for the purpose of avoiding such name-calling.

The Lamma
06-11-2007, 04:23 PM
Agreed. There are some of people that don't have any faith at all, but we don't know AT ALL who they are, so we shouldn't assume.

timmyrotter
06-11-2007, 06:04 PM
MAJOR pet peeve of mine is any Christian calling another a Pharisee. It's a direct attack on their faith and relationship with God. I don't think Christians are even right most of the times they call a brother/sister in Christ a Pharisee (or compare them to one).

The reason I tried to persuade toward trying to get what his point of view was, I did for the purpose of avoiding such name-calling.

that statement kind of sounded like one a pharisee would say... :P

but seriously Geneva, pastors are human. i dont agree with a lot of what my old pastor did, but it wasnt sin, and even though im bitter, i dont have too much grounds for complaining without being slanderous.

DarkestRose
06-12-2007, 10:41 PM
that statement kind of sounded like one a pharisee would say... :P

hahha... But I probably only started coming down with this pet peeve after the Joan of Arcadia episode "No Bad Guy."

I don't know how many people have seen that show. It's not theologically Christian (more Unitarian Universalit, which I think is flimsy theology at best and it also had some Catholic leanings) but it had interesting concepts of doing good for others, God appearing as different people, obeying God even when people think you're being weird (a concept like in Evan Almighty), having faith in/trusting God.

Tromos
06-13-2007, 07:21 AM
But I probably only started coming down with this pet peeve...

*laugh*

You make it sound like an infection. Perhaps some antibiotics will help you past it ;D

DarkestRose
06-13-2007, 09:24 AM
Perhaps "developed" sounds more psychological?

http://instantsmileys.com/smileys/goofy-smiley-14.gif <---( diseased)

Geneva
06-13-2007, 04:04 PM
Haha, if only pet peeves were a disease you could cure. :P

Thanks for the help, guys. I appreciate it. :)

RJ91classic
06-19-2007, 11:03 AM
everyone has their own way of comfort his is a agressive way to show it.All he's doing is saying the persons in a better place don't be depressed rejoice.It's not the end of the world

JenniferAnn
06-27-2007, 01:02 PM
everyone has their own way of comfort his is a agressive way to show it.All he's doing is saying the persons in a better place don't be depressed rejoice.It's not the end of the world


I think if the girl were speaking to you rather than their pastor, she may have felt a bit better. You worded that well and make a very outstanding point, but still it's difficult to cope with the loss of a parent. I think the pastor either needs some sensitivity classes or he was just having an off day and wasnt exactly on the ball with the best words of knowledge.

A lot of people have come to me for advice before and sometimes my words are just totally... misinterpreted, i say completely the wrong thing, or i'm totally inspired by God (after saying a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit) and i end up saying something that couldnt have possibly come to me without God's help.

G, talk to the girl if you see her around. Ask her how she's doing and talk to her a bit. I guaruntee you it'll make her feel better that someone cares. And don't be too upset with your pastor. He is human after all. Respect him as much as you can, and if you don't particularly like him, that's fine. You can have respect for someone without liking them.